I am 37 weeks swollen with child and as I put together salad for lunch, sprinkle dressing, cut soft French bread, I am overcome by the holy ground I stand on. Right here in my messy kitchen, between the red toaster and the red bread box. I set down the butter knife and I can hear the chorus of how much Jesus loves me playing. Playing loud and here and just for me.
How am I worthy of this love?
The girl who grew up believing she was nothing apart for her ability to reproduce, so wounded by that gospel that she swore off marriage and children, now standing here beloved and pregnant and in a pool of grace as warm as the winter sunshine pouring through the window.
How did He do it?
How did He take the most broken bits of my childhood and all their jagged edges and fit them together in this tremendous testimony to His patient love. Somehow He soldered them into a stained glass whole and made my story beautiful. The motherless daughter now co-creates a girl child with the God who never demanded it from her, who only offered it as free gift.
I am His art. And with Him we make art together. Living art. Life. And only because of His grace.
Zoe Grace. Life and Grace.
This is my testimony.
On the 18th anniversary of my mother’s death, not knowing it was a daughter growing inside of me, He knew. And so He spoke her name before we had even named her, as I wrote:
On the day I mourn half a lifetime lived without my mother, I hear Jesus whisper, “Life!”
Months later we discover who she is and with that comes her name. Zoe. The unexpected life He gave us. And I feel her kicking inside of me now, 30 weeks later. And I am a living altar of remembrance to what He has done.
When Jacob awoke from his sleep, he thought, “Surely the LORD is in this place, and I was not aware of it.” He called that place Bethel [House of God]. Genesis 28:16-19.
God is with me, in me, and I am in Him.
Life and Grace.
Even when I was not aware of it.
Especially then.
Kara @My interrobang
The name is beautiful, perfect!
Zoe Grace. Perfect.
I love motherhood described through your eyes and heart. I’m often saying, “Yes! That’s it!” while reading your words. Thank you, sweet Mama!
I love this…
And her name is beautiful…
This post gave me good goosebumps:)
You really reached out and shared a precious, beautiful moment.
Thankyou, and I look forward to reading as Zoe adds more beauty to your life.
Love, love, love it! I am so into the meanings of names, and I was really looking forward to hearing what you would name your little Pink. Did you look for names meaning life, or did you decide on it then find out?
The name kind of came to us and when we were looking it up and reading about how it means, “life” we were won over. And then I went back and was re-reading old posts and saw that sentence I’d written months before about how I felt Jesus whispered, “life” to me and then it was all goosebumps and happy tears and a done, done deal
I got tingles reading this. Beautiful name!
Cxx
This is the name I have chosen for my little girl one day
Ahhh, so precious!!! This makes me REALLY excited to have a baby now 
i am his art and with him we make art together.
i love that statement. i am his art. i am his art. i am his art.
created by him. with love. grace. mercy.
thank you for sharing. encouraged as always.
Such a beautiful way to bring in the day. Thanks for sharing these thoughts, Lisa-Jo. Cannot wait to “meet” Zoe!
This is a beautiful story, and a perfect way to begin my day of classes and exams – thinking about Life and Grace. Thank you for sharing, Lisa-Jo. And for always brightening my day.
Love,
Hilary
What a beautiful name and wonderful story! Your little Zoe is so lucky to, not only have you for her mother, but to have your words as a testament to that love that she will experience.
ahh! so beautiful! love it and love the story that goes along with it =) so excited for you all…God is so full of love and grace and has unfolded and is unfolding a beautiful story.
What a lovely name. One of my favorite things is hearing what other people name their children, and why. Zoe is not a name you hear very much these days (although we have friends who have a Zoe, a Zachary, and a Zanna!), and its meaning is so rich. Life and grace … this is what we have in our Lord. What a rich reminder for her as she grows!
Beautiful words and a lovely name! Life and grace, such a perfect fit together!
I love it!
My daughter is Zoe Sophia (Life, Wisdom).
What a beautiful reminder to you – and I’m so excited for you!
Oh that’s so beautiful, Mary. We’d thought of the name Sophie too – but my cousin snuck in and named her daughter that first. But we love it – and the meaning behind it!
I love it… I can’t wait to “meet” that baby girl… she’ll be at Relevant, no?
I imagine so
beautiful. such a testimony!
How beautiful. Truly.
Lovely name. Even lovelier story behind it. Life and grace, even when we are not aware of it. Love to you and your precious daughter.
Beautiful. Just beautiful.
Girl, you made me cry today. This is beautiful. What a perfect name!
Beautiful! And what a blessing you will be speaking over her each time you speak her name!
Ah yes! We have a Zoe Hope. I love that name “Life!” Doesn’t it just make you think of the well springs that bring the beauty. I have the Life and Hope living here. I have a story too and it’s so wonderful to remember those, and to yes, speak those stories aloud for others to hear. I am so happy for you, to live out the life and grace in your life, and for you to meet your daughter face-to-face soon.
I love this Lisa-Jo! Congrats!!
Beautiful name, I can’t wait to “meet” her – online at least!
This gave me chills. Such good stuff!
What a lovely name!
Oh, I love it! Zoe Grace.
Hmm mm, God.
We named our daughter “Alathea Grace”. Alathea is Greek for Truth. So she’s “Truth & Grace”. Hilarious, in part, because my hubby and I head up the marriage ministry @ our church and jokingly refer to ourselves as “truth” (my hubby, who can take off his belt of truth and whoop people with it} and “grace” {me, who can tend to be overly gracious/wishy washy}. We make a good team…and apparently…a lovely little lady who is a good blend of us
Blessings oor jou klein skat!
What a cool story, our God is just awesome. I love hearing how He is working in other peoples lives and this is a beautiful story of that. Thank you for walking out your faith with us. You are a blessing.
Cha Cha
O my gosh! Goosebumps! I just read that very same passage.. how many times have I been walking through my life, and all of a sudden God opens my eyes to sacred ground?? Goosebumps!
A thought that keeps coming up over and over in my heart is from the story of the prodigal son.. but it’s the scene where the FAther is talking to the good son… he says, ” All that I have is yours.” That phrase… ” Amy, all that I have is yours.”
My God that is in me, and I am in Him… all that is His is mine.
I have been loving the hope and the peace and excitement that just that phrase is bringing… another scripture came to mind after that one “The earth is the Lords, and everything in it.” So that is mine? I asked the Lord… the earch and all that’s in it??
Lol.. it’s funny that you can read something a million times over, to have a simple phrase jump out and touch you. Brings such life.
Gheeze I am yammerin’ here!
Beautiful beautiful post! Beautiful life in you
Thankyou for sharing about your Zoe… Life, freedom, grace, and beauty
Love the name! You’re going to be an awesome girl momma, just like the wonderful boy momma you already are. Zoe will appreciate the fact that you *get* her, since you’ve been through all the female adventures already!
Oh, Lisa-Jo. So incredible. You’ve written the miracle right into a poetic piece I’m sure He and the angels are rejoicing over!
Blessings!!
Lisa-Jo, this is just perfect and I love how deeply He is weaving Himself into your heart of hearts…I can’t really describe it, but, you know it is a great mystery and He meets in a way that we would not know when those most dear (your mama and mine) are not with us and we bring our aching hearts to Him…I love the story He is writing with your life!
Thank you for sharing your heart with us all…really His heart:)
Oh, I just love this! Grace…grace…grace! And the heart of the Father who is SO, SO, SO for us….He is painting this beautiful picture even when the broad strokes seem to be overshadowing the finite details He is adding in.
So beautiful!
This is such a wonderful testimony. Thank you so much for sharing it with us. I am so thankful that Chuck followed the Lord’s prompting. Zoe Grace is a *beautiful* name! Kelly
I love this! Zoe is a beautiful name and what a beautiful story. I am 22 weeks along with our little boy and I am praying the Lord will reveal what his name should be. I think the only way my husband and I will come to agreement is if God speaks loudly! : )
Congratulations and I pray all goes well with your last few weeks.
Jessica
That’s Right!~Especially Then!
I read your latest post before this and wanted to cry, I’m really trying to hold back the tears. God is so faithful and knows so well what is right and perfect.
Zoe Grace is beautiful. Could she have a better mom than you? You offer ispiration and encouragement.
Being a mommy to a little girl is something else. I have both and I can say for sure its something softer and sweeter.
Hi, i’m sorry, i know this is an old post but i just came across it and wanted to tell you that it is amazing. This is just how i felt in 2010 when i was expecting, and my daughter is Zoe Alexis. I felt that she gave me a life i’ve always needed and my husband was the one who picked the name, i was just so happy with it when i knew what meaning that name held. It fit, wonderfully, because God knew it all along. The Alexis is in honor of a niece that i lost long ago. I just felt led to comment on this post and say that i, too, was someone who never wanted to be married because i saw so many fail and did not want to be what everyone expected. Little did i know that the lord was working on me and he would show me in time just what i was meant for.