Dictate in minute detail how the dishwasher should be loaded.
Oversee his diapering of your baby, double checking whether or not he applied enough Desitin.
Rattle off a list of to-do’s the minute he walks in the door from work. Repeat them again over dinner. Mutter them under your breath while you’re getting the kids ready for bed. Huff and puff them to yourself every time you walk past him. Then complain about how the chores are being done while he is in the process of doing them.
Compare how he gets things done to any other living being – including your father, your best friend, or Chuck Norris.
Request his help in the same tone of voice that your toddler uses when he can’t get his way. For those of you who don’t have toddlers, if only dogs can hear your request then that’s the tone I’m talking about.
Pout.
Start Saturday morning out with a list of chores before anyone’s had breakfast or any fun.
Re-stack the dishes he already put away into their “proper” places. Ditto for re-folding laundry, re-ordering the pantry, or re-making the bed. Basically all “re’s” fall into this category.
Live like roommates instead of lovers. Forget to laugh. Believe what the neighbors think of your yard is more important than what you think of your man. Compare.
Because, wrapping a man around your finger…
begins with wrapping yourself around him first.
With words and arms and actions. Embrace your man. And, in my experience, he will willingly, happily, delightfully embrace you back.
You {and sometimes even your chores.}
[Naturally, I have done, do and will probably do again all of the above. But a girl can try to change, right? So, what’d I leave off the list?]
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So so so so very true! Hard to remember sometimes, but always well worth it. BTW, I do have something in the works for your little super heros… I’ll be getting it out to you this week (hopefully)!
Oh yes! It can’t be easy being married to a mother of young children. I am so grateful to have a hubby who sacrifices so much for his family, despite his wife’s insensitivities!
Thank you, thank you for this message! I wish you were able to shout this from every rooftop in this country.
More often than not I hear wives complain constantly and bitterly about how bad their husband is because he rarely helps, and when he does, the chore is done so poorly that they may as well have done it themselves. I am familiar with the tone you mention, and I want to disappear when it is used in our presence by a wife on her spouse. I am also amazed that when the topic at work or at almost any gathering of women turns to husband bashing, I get this wide-eyed look-as though I am an alien that just stepped out of a spaceship-when I tactfully disagree and praise my husband.
Such a sad state of affairs.
So much wisdom wrapped up in your words, especially, “With words and arms and actions. Embrace your man. And, in my experience, he will willingly, happily, delightfully embrace you back.” Amen to that!!!!
What a cute post! Cute *and* wise, what a combination. :-)
Cxx
you are a wise wise lady!!!
Yes! Absolutely. They LOVE to serve a grateful wife. Such a blessing.
Beautiful picture! Yes, and yes! After our first daughter came along we forgot to laugh, to date, and generally to be husband and wife and became roommates who cared for a baby. Our marriage almost did not make it and we had the toughest year of our ten years married. Thanks to the grace of God we woke up one day and snapped out of it and now we are here! We knew better when baby number two came along.
this made me laugh. only because a couple of them sound so familiar. i would never do any of these things, of course, i’m just talking about friends who have. ;) but, for real. when i ask my husband to do something, i leave the room or i just ignore how he is doing it. i’ve learned that things don’t have to done exactly how i want them done in order to be done well.
some add-ons, not that I know ANYTHING about these ;)
1. make a “suggestion” for a certain situation and then wait (im)patientely for Hubs to see how wise and noble said “suggestion” is
2. “suggestion” goes on for a time too long, without resolve, means more “suggesting” and a little more perspective because obviously he’s missing it
3. when said “suggestion” isn’t what he considers wise, then you need to continue to educate him because surely he’s amiss, still
4. when he flat out doesn’t agree with said suggestion, more forceful tone and more suggesting is needed
5. once you reach #4 you return to #1, start again
yeah, not this one either. :)
I LOVE this! Ten years of marriage and four children has really helped me to become less of a micromanaging, naggy wife. I’m just too tired now, and realize if it gets done…it gets done. :)
Don’t complain of his short comings to your friends; (try to talk about his good side in front of him to them!)
I grew up with all girls, so it is nice to hear from other married women and to understand that A LOT of what my husband does is just because he is a man. That said, I am really bad at COMPLAINING to my girlfriends instead of lifting my husband up.
“…wrapping yourself around him first.” I love this. And I remind myself of this when I feel distant from my husband. Which usually occurs because I have been thinking of myself and my needs before anyone else.
I noticed early in our marriage that the more I corrected my husband and the way he did things the less he did things. And his way was often BETTER than my way. Thankfully he allowed me to learn this lesson on my own.
Well, just look at you getting all up in my bizzness. ;)
I would also add ignoring him when he gets home from work. Nothing says, “I’ve missed you!” or “Glad you’re home!” like the cold shoulder.
One of my greatest goals is not to nag my husband. I also learned quickly that prayer works a whole lot better. Makes me feel like a nijna. ;)
The one that I learned early on was to not change the kids clothes after he had dressed them! He had gotten to the point where he said, “I’m not going to do it!” and it was a wake up call for me. I would rather have my helpful husband on board and appreciated then some perfectly matched children! (and now I’m having to “let go” again, because they are of the age that they want to choose their clothes). Sigh…
Love the list and thanks for the great reminder!
Thanks for the advice! :)
“Chuck Norris”
I love it.
:)
For the sake of equal time, I probably shouldn’t do any of these to my wife, either.
Hahahahahaha! This is all sooo true! I love the toddler whine voice that only dogs can hear. Priceless! Ok, here’s one: remind him 3 times about putting out the garbage on the night before collection {at dinner, as he’s tucking in a kid, and as he’s falling asleep}, then point out the next morning that he must not have put the lid on the can right since a local bear spewed trash across the driveway. Ta-da! Fantastic post and reminder on loving our husbands. Thanks, Lisa-Jo!
I have to remind myself of this often. So often.
How about this one: once you’re absolutely fed up with whatever it is he isn’t doing right, say what you’re really thinking under your breath so that he has to ask what you said. Then you get to look right in his face, say it with all the frustration you feel, and watch his face fall when he realizes that he’s done something to hurt you (or light up in anger because he is unjustly accused…and you know it).
By the way, thank you for reminding me to wrap myself around him. He needs it more often. (I think that my “newborn” excuse is getting old…especially since she turned 9 weeks yesterday…if only I would remind myself of that when it matters!)
Don’t take him for granted when he does help – everyone needs to be appreciated. That goes both ways too.
PS I have the best Hubby on earth – he’s a “house husband” at the moment, and I appreciate him very much.
I love these kind of posts.
I am grateful every single day for my hubby and for everything that he does.
Sure he might not do some things the way I would like them to be done – but at least he did it and the world isn’t going to end just because he did it differently to me. I’m thankful that he did whatever it was.
We have a little appreciation thing where each day he thanks me for cooking his meals, I thank him for the food and home to be able to cook him a meal.
I linked this post from my hubby appreciation post here http://blog.kia-glitz.com/?p=1246
Hey, who gave you the hammer for my hard-head this morning? haha
This post really hit home for me because I am really struggling right now. I need to find other outlets for what is bothering me rather than always laying it at his feet. A bit more “wrapping” is due around here.
My post yesterday was about our love for each other. Thanks for this post and I will continue to try to do better.
Here’s a good one (not that I’ve ever done it; of course not!) –
When you finally take some time for that embrace (if I’m not being too subtle), suddenly remember those four things you needed to go over with him about the kids’ schedule tomorrow…and then segue into talking about the budget. That one’s always a winner.
Not that I’d know.
ahem.
love the Chuck Norris part. and all of it really. but Chuck made me laugh.
miss you!
You’re like the Chuck Norris of Home Bloggers – no one puts Nester in a corner. Hmm, wait, I sense I’m mixing my metaphorical characters, eh?
{Miss you too!}
That is the sweetest picture!