10 Feb 2012

Five Minute Friday: Trust

Around here we write for five minutes flat on Fridays.

We write because we want to, not because we have to. We write for fun, for joy, for discovery.

On Fridays we just write without worrying if it’s just right or not. Won’t you join us? (<—Tweet this!)

    1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
    2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
    3. Please visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them.

OK, are you ready? Give me your best five minutes on:

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Trust…

GO

There are days when the stories I hear from friends hurt so bad it’s hard to breathe. These are things of nightmares. The reasons I wake up sweating and smelling my fear in the dark. Micah has climbed into the bed between Pete and I, his warm back all pressed up against mine.

I swallow, turn over, and put a hand out to draw comfort from all that innocence sleeping in the bed next to me, just a pillow apart.

I would build a fortress around him if I could. I would dig a moat around my Micah and Zoe and Jackson to wall them off from this world of horror stories.

I am not brave.

But I don’t have bricks thick enough of shovels strong enough, and besides, I’m sure it’s against the zoning regulations for our neighborhood.

I’m supposed to pray, they tell me. To trust these three pieces of my flesh and blood and sweat and tears to the God who was there when the bad stories I heard this week unfolded.

Trust him.

I fold my hands tightly across my chest and glare at the emptiness in front of me, all tied up in my own un-trust. Tight fists feel good. Strong. Un-surrendered. These are my children and I will fight you for them.

If only I had grown them on my own. If only I could lay claim to building their DNA with no outside help. If only I weren’t steps removed from the dust and dirt and grime of this earth that bore me first. Shaped out of God’s hand, what if I just give Him my fists.

What if I don’t try to unfurl them. What if I just clench them in the palm of His mighty Carpenter’s hand. Maybe we can fight for them side by side. I know He will not go down fighting. Even when His strategy looks different than the one I would have chosen.

He is a Father too. He knows how to fight for His children. Especially when it means surrendering Himself. I think He knows the surrender and the fight and the “Why did you forsake me?” cries.

He knows and he suffered and I am afraid but I am also drawn to His courage.

I want Him to wrap me up – this whole ball of frustration and worry – in the palm of His hand where I know it will be alright.

Even when it isn’t.

PS: I got all caught up in this one and it was 7 minutes of writing before I looked up. But 7 minutes non-stop and un-edited – typos included. Love, LJ

STOP

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Comments

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  1. 1

    You thoughts are echoed. May the mamas of the world be able to rest in His love tonight. With Joy, Carey

  2. 2

    I miscarried before each of my girls, and though I have four healthy kids, those losses made me fearful in such a palpable way. I think we mama’s have such an incredible attachment to our kids that we perceive ourselves utterly responsible for their safety and well-being. But if God wanted us to control their futures and ensure their protection, he would have equipped us with that ability. Instead, he gifted us with faith to trust in him, because he has their futures in his hand. His big, capable hand that we cannot see — and there’s the rub, we have to trust. Beautiful post, :)

  3. 4

    It’s so hard to let go of my children, especially mine that are older, the oldest two being 20 and 17. My 2oyo daughter is to be married in June. How do I let go and trust the Lord, her going out on her own, leaving and cleaving. My heart will choose to trust!

    • 5

      I so understand what you mean, Barbie…I am there myself…my oldest 20 going into the Army, my next one 18 going off to college in the fall, and the next one graduates next year. I might have nine, but they are growing to fast. Trust is all I have in the One who will keep them in his sight when I can’t.
      Keep up the God work.

  4. 6

    This is such a rich, Mamma post. I feel your words. I live your words with my own babies.

  5. 7

    Beautiful post. This is so true and so powerful “He is a Father too. He knows how to fight for His children. Especially when it means surrendering Himself. I think He knows the surrender and the fight and the “Why did you forsake me?” cries.” Thank you.

  6. 8

    Couldn’t have said it better myself. I will take fighting beside Him with clenched fists any day of the week and twice on Sunday! Thanks for putting that into words!

  7. 9

    Even in seven minutes, YOU SLAY ME! I *feel* the weight of your heart, your angst, your desire to release all that, period. Does a dad–can a father–feel the blood-tie to child like a mother whose womb housed him, whose body nourished her? I wonder.

    So happy to be able to join in this week :). Though mine is a MUCH quicker glance at our theme.

  8. 10

    It’s like being in the grip of some powerful stuff and reminds me of fierce compassion.

  9. 11

    “He is a Father too. He knows how to fight for His children. Especially when it means surrendering Himself.”
    This blessed me so.
    fabulous prompt! Thank you!
    All for Him,
    Nikki

  10. 12

    What a big word to try to squeeze into 5 minutes, huh? Also, it can be as simple as a split second decision and it’s done.

    Thanks for this thought-provoking prompt today! :)

  11. 13

    I probably say this every week, but Thank you again for this challenge…this challenge not only to write for 5 minutes straight but search deeply for the way the Lord is moving and breathing and growing and shaping me in each word…the deep words…the challenging words…the real words…thank you for such a meaningful Friday post.
    Keep up the God work.

  12. 14

    You totally put eloquent words to my thoughts/feelings of this week! My kids have been fairly sheltered, being homeschooled, but now the neighborhood boys have found us and love hanging out at our house. I wrestle with protection/wisdom/outreach/kindness/responsiblity… the whole nineyards. (Have you ever imagined all the horrible things that *could* happen to your kids?) My FB status this week was “I am mother. Hear me roar!” But God can roar so much louder, huh?

  13. 15

    Trust, such a small word for such a large, and often difficult, task. As mothers, I think there is no greater desire than to protect our children, and yet we can’t. We have to trust Him to ultimately protect them.

  14. 16

    I am just in awe… The Gypsy Mama is a new discovery for me that is turning out to be a real treasure. Thank you for your heart. You draw from such a deep well that is truly filled with the Spirit of God…

    Thank you for your authenticity…

  15. 17

    Thank you for this this morning. I’m crying while my toddler pokes me with his phone.

  16. 18

    wow, do i ever know what you mean… the urge to protect children, well… there is a reason for the term “mama bear!” love the word for the day!

    my recent post: get me a lock… a big one.

  17. 19

    THIS one…it cut right to my soul. I so get this and am walking it and it’s not easy.

  18. 20

    Get on your mark, get set go! Trust. Trust trust. Some days I wake feeling grateful and overwhelmed with trust, all is going right, and other days I wake up with a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, the beginning of an anxiety attack. There is no trust, there is only fear. I even fear leaving the house. It is on those days, I have to trust when there is no trust left. I have to b]put one overwhelmed foot in front of the other and hope the other shoe doesn’t drop on my head.
    I hate these bipolar ends of my spirituality. In all honesty, there is a lot wrong in my world right now. No job, no income. On the other hand, there is allot right, food on the table and a roof over my head. I have a loving son and three great dogs. I try and remember this too shall pass, that another job will come along, another moment. I just need to keep on keeping on.

  19. 21

    Dumb! I’m so sorry! I don’t know what that posted twice! Forgive me!

  20. 22

    I love your words today. They are beautiful, meaningful, and just perfect for me.

  21. 23

    I loved the written article above.I can identify with the fears of horror stories And CNN news and the sadness around me in fifty plus community!I find singing has become my best way to cope with my confusing thoughts….I didn’t feel like singing when I had to go thru surgery for cancer but I sang What a wonderful God we serve.I was told this by a good friend.Rejoicing didn’t seem the best thought when my spouse died suddenly of a massive heart attack at 51 years old .But I knew something better would come of it.

  22. 24

    This is beautiful, Lisa-Jo. Just beautiful.

  23. 25

    Sobbing. I don’t know that I even have words to type. So why am I? Okay, now a little chuckle, but mostly sobs. This is so beautiful, so real, raw and honest. I feel like lately I’m messing everything up. It’s not a pity plea. Truly isn’t. I just feel like in spite of all of my determination to breathe in life, I am still running and tripping and falling and, just messing up. How do I save my kids from me?

  24. 26

    I love this. I am not a mom, but I have seen my mom in action when anyone or anything threatens/harms her babies. I have also seen her when she learns devastating news that something happens she couldn’t fight against.

    But, God was there, fighting for me. And, Your depiction of God fighting for His children is great. He does know how to fight for us, and He can never lose.

    Thanks for opening up 5 Minute Fridays for us to all share life with you and each other.

  25. 27

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