14 Mar 2012

What women moms want

When I’m reeealllly tired and my brain starts to wonder far, far away from our Cheerio-encrusted floor, these are the things I day-dream about:

  1. To go to the bathroom without an audience
  2. A hot meal
  3. Not to have to cut up any food but their own
  4. Make up that hasn’t been repurposed as face paint
  5. A bed without wet spots in it
  6. Laundry washed and folded by someone else
  7. A weekend worth of sleep
  8. To get through more than three words without being interrupted
  9. Self-cleaning mini vans
  10. A world where sweat pants are more fashionable than skinny jeans
  11. Non-fattening chocolate
  12. Bottomless ice cream tubs
  13. Dogs that don’t shed
  14. Hamsters that can take out their own trash
  15. The tidying super powers of Mary Poppins
  16. Doctor’s offices that are always on time
  17. Drive through everything!
  18. A mute button for temper tantrums
  19. A world without Barney
  20. Pacifier locators
  21. Self cleaning dishes
  22. A lifetime supply of paper plates
  23. Candy flavored vegetables
  24. Hall monitors for our house
  25. Guarantees that skinned knees are the worst our kids will have to worry about
  26. Someone to pat our back and sing us lullabies too
  27. On call massage therapy
  28. Non-stain spaghetti sauce
  29. Grass without the holes, dinosaur digs or rock collection
  30. World household peace
  31. Everyone to recognize how awesome our kids are
  32. Room service
  33. Music that makes moms and kids happy
  34. A diaperreal genie!
  35. Legos that melt in the mouth {thus preventing choking}
  36. Daily naps
  37. Time out that is more than just hiding in the laundry room
  38. A theme song
  39. Beth Moore on speed dial
  40. Other moms to laugh, cry, and do life along side.

OK, what am I forgetting – let’s build this list together!

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  1. 1

    Socks that come out of the dryer attached to their mate.

  2. 6

    :: the other sock.
    :: for dust to be “in fashion”.

  3. 7

    Yes, please! (big sigh)

  4. 8

    Self-buckling car seats
    Nap times that last just 10 more minutes

  5. 9

    To be told “Thank You”

  6. 10

    Self-cleaning everything.

  7. 11

    Amen to all of those!!
    Workout videos that can be effectively completed while you sleep.
    An entire day with no sibling rivalry.
    Guests who consider the fingerprints all over my windows as adorable as I do.

  8. 15

    a trainer to work out FOR me :-)
    a guarantee that my kids will turn out okay!
    a self-cleaning kitchen.
    and dinner delivered to my door every night :-)

  9. 16

    OH! I love this – might even print it out and frame it, lol :) xo

  10. 17

    veggies that taste and look like candy but still maintain their nutrition
    more time being their mommy before they are all grown
    Thank you, this is beautiful and I really needed it this afternoon!

  11. 18

    -sweet & gentle voice of Ann Voskamp when training my children
    -a full fridge & pantry without entering a grocery store
    -a chef who cooks dinner my kids will eat…so I can give them 100% of my attention during the “bewitching hour” of 5-6
    -super human strength to lug a car seat and carry a 35 lb toddler (wait already have that!;))

  12. 21

    A “freeze button”. So we can enjoy certain moments longer…

  13. 22

    And all the moms scream collectively “Amen!”

    I would add…
    …children who remember to go to the bathroom at the appropriate time
    …In addition to your #6- someone to put the laundry away!
    …to have at least one surface in the house that stays organized
    …to be early…sigh…

    Great post!

  14. 23

    You had me at a weekend foe sleep.

    How about library books that return (or renew) themselves?
    A pause button to take deep breaths and remember perspective.
    Laundry that finishes itself.

  15. 24
    Michele-Lyn says:

    This made me laugh.out.loud! Here’s mine…

    A stock boy to keep pantry shelves and refrigerators full… :)

  16. 25

    As a homeschooling mom I could add:

    A Janitor to come behind and pick up the debris
    A lunch lady to prepare the meals
    More time for parent teacher conferences
    Teacher in-service days

  17. 26

    ALL of these are great! Here’s some of mine:

    Just one day without whining
    A tape recording of my voice that says: “Brush your teeth”
    A “freeze” button that keeps my daughter at age 7
    The wisdom to do & say the right thing at all times
    Unlimited HUGS!!

  18. 27

    To be able to eat a dessert or a favorite food without having to share!

  19. 28

    For my energy/time/motivation cycles to always work together so that I would always have time, have the motivation and have the energy needed for whatever at the same time. (It seems like more often than not, one of the three is lacking!!!)

  20. 29

    For time to be slowed down just a bit; long enough to really live in the moment (not just clean it up). I was just changing my daughter’s diaper when I turned back around to find that she…my baby…is now in the throes of puberty and adolescence – and she’s taller than me! Where did that time go?

  21. 30

    To take a shower–uninterrupted! =) It seems that some days even the few quiet moments to myself–which usually only take place in the shower–are abruptly interrupted by my {sweet} two-year old daughter running in to pull back the curtain and ask if she can join me! =)

  22. 31

    A sound proof partition for minivans that comes up like limos have to make long car trips whine free.
    An in house Starbucks barista.
    The end of all stomach bugs and no vomit/diarrhea pills for kids.
    A house that automatically declutters and organizes itself.
    Anti-crumb/spill/dirt/stain carpet that self cleans.
    Amen to more sleep!
    A potty chair that cleans itself but also follows your toddler around and teaches them how to use it.

  23. 32

    All I can say is, “Amen!” and I would seriously love to have that nose-twitching thing from

  24. 33
    ANother mother says:

    A magic wand that zaps their energy and gives it to me.
    An appropriate response to every complaint/ question/ dilemma.
    Affirmation that my efforts aren’t misdirected.
    Wind that carries the mud and debris out the door.
    To really be omniscient since everybody expects me to know where they put things.

  25. 34

    To be able to get a work out in at a normal time of 5:30 p.m. not a.m.
    To get up on a Saturday morning and be able to enjoy some time to myself.
    To always see my sons beautiful smile instead of the scowling No.
    To not feel like I am going to miss something momentous because I am at work and he is at daycare.

  26. 35

    ~~a limousine-y plexi glass window behind the front seats, rolled UP
    ~~a mega, Star War’s playground in the backyard
    ~~cheese pizzas being THE food pyramid
    ~~sibling conflict transferring to Mom calorie-burn

  27. 36
    Lisa Milman says:

    -A time machine – to go back and savor again the great moments and change the ones where I spoke (yelled) before thinking.
    -time to thoughtfully sort through all the digital pictures of the kids I’ve dumped onto my computer
    -for my kids to listen the FIRST time I ask them to brush their teeth, get dressed, come to the table for dinner, turn the tv off…
    -more time…

  28. 37

    a LONG shower

  29. 38

    I’m not a mom, but I would go for legos that don’t hurt when you step on them! :)

    • 39

      Hahaha! That’s the story of my life! Ouch and ouch…

      • 40

        Stefanie, I popped over to your blog and I am SO thankful you commented on my post! I can not wait to follow your posts and see how you spread encouragement and joy to your readers! I too am aspiring to write only encouraging and joyful posts–granted I’ve only been doing this two weeks so I’ll be anxious to take notes from you! Thanks for sharing your love for Christ!

  30. 42

    Carpeting that repels stains….
    A recess monitor for our yards….
    A baby gate that can’t be torn down by said baby….

    Loved this post!

  31. 43

    Empty toilet bowls and closed lids! (Although we are making some progress on this one. :)

  32. 45

    A un-microwaved, HOT cup of coffee!

  33. 49

    These are hilarious !! A little scary too considering I am going to be a mommy in September ;)

    • 50

      Oh Charissa so much of this you will find in your life too, but it will also come with so much joy! And the things we are finding to list today are probably the things we will miss one day :) Congratulations! Savor it!

  34. 51

    #6, #7 and #40—>> AMEN!!!

    and i’m with ruth in the comment above—i reheat my coffee at least three times a day and usually end up giving up on drinking it at all:)))

  35. 52

    And a different slant…
    One more toothless grin
    One more “mommy” instead of “mom”
    One more snuggle before they leave, suitcase in hand
    Just a different perspective, from a mommy of littles all the way up to grown, married and gone.

  36. 54

    Beth Moore on speed dial … nice.


  37. 55

    How about self-paying bills? Ever since I became a stay-at-home mom and tried to take this task off my husband’s shoulders, I’ve made us late. Which is why I also need library books to return themselves and the tv to respond to the toddler’s voice commands.

  38. 56

    To sleep until I am finished sleeping
    To go back and to when they were little for just a little while
    To stop being so serious and laugh more
    To have James Dobson next door.

  39. 57

    “Choctail” hour.

  40. 58

    -3 more of me!
    – a whole week of sleep!
    – win the lottery so I can be a stay-at-home mommy and not be afraid I will miss out on anything and she will know that I am the mom, not all those other ladies at daycare (3 month old)
    -more time to love and spend time with each one (3 girls, 13, 8, and 3 months!)

  41. 59
    Tonya Ellison says:

    *a bottomless coffee pot.
    *a switch i can flip on to make my kids want to get dressed in the morning.

  42. 60

    I. Love. This.

    Dishwashers that empty themselves. Better yet, dishes that instantly clean themselves and put themselves away.

    An instant clean button that is connected to the doorbell. ;)

  43. 61

    A desire to be intimate for my husband that never fails and energy that takes me through without calling me to slumber before our shared time!

    • 62

      yes!! and without hearing the pitter patter of little feet coming down the hall or hearing Momma!! screamed at the top of my child’s lungs in the middle of said intimate time. I mean, really, how are we ever going to give him a little brother or sister if we keep getting interrupted :)

  44. 63

    Love this! I would add sick days to the list.

  45. 64

    AMEN to #17!!

  46. 65

    I’d love it if people would rinse and put the empty juice bottle/milk jug in the recycling bag….not just set it on the counter. (It’s literally like 15 seconds out of your day, honestly.)

  47. 66

    Kids who enjoy and appreciate all the NON-candy/video game/ice cream treats and experiences we plan for them.
    And thank us for disciplining them even though “this hurts Mommy as much as it hurts you.”

  48. 67

    Yes, Lisa, the time machine! But I’m a grandmother now so you also need to go to the future: Your child is grown, college educated, successful in a career, happily married to a person you adore, you have the most awesome grandchild(ren) ever in the whole world, and your “child” says, “now I know: no one could be a better mother than you. Thanks and congratulations.” :^) :^* :^D

  49. 68

    Love these!

    I would add:
    The ability to always speak in a quiet, calm voice.
    Anti-meltdown dust (for the kiddos…ok, for me too)
    Time to read books that I want to read that doesn’t involve staying up until 2 am.
    A stomach that shrinks back properly on it’s own after each child.

  50. 69

    -Sick days
    -Crunch-free floors
    -For “Goodnight Moon” to be as fascinating to me on the 10,000th read as it is to him!

  51. 72
    Laura Guilbeault says:

    As brand new mom ….

    I wish dads could breast feed too !

  52. 74

    Love this list!!! It’s amazing how we all just want to go to the bathroom alone.

  53. 75

    –a longer day, so there is more time after work to cook and share dinner, enjoy a movie, AND do the bedtime routine even on weekdays
    –webcams at daycare so I can watch my littles learn and grow even when I’m not there
    –permanent perfect hair and makeup so I don’t have to waste all that precious time each day “getting ready”!
    –a personal assistant/stylist who can make me feel put-together
    –Dr. Dobson as a neighbor would be awesome!
    –an on-call gardener/handyman/pool guy so my hubby doesn’t have to spend his spare time on any of it
    –an awesome playscape for our boys
    –an unlimited supply of patience
    –sleep when I need it

  54. 76

    O I remember those sleep and sanity deprived days. When my daughters were eighteen months a part and were two and three years of age. Spring has sprung but when I see a mother and child with a snowsuit on- I go in search for an empty bathroom and give thanks. “This too shall pass.”

    I’ll never forget my first winter with my girls.

    Struggling to maintain a semblance of good humor, I’d get a grip, and one after another I’d down their snow suits on. My own body saturated with sweat from underneath my layered clothes and coats; sagging inwardly I’d groan and bite back the tears when I would hear a muffled voice say “I need to pee!”

    Finally fighting off the boots, and peeling off the clothes like the skins of a large sweet onion we’d hurtle ourselves to the closet bathroom in the house.

    “Mommy, what’d’ya doing? Mommy can I come in? I gotta go again! Mommy can we go outside some more? Mommy I’m hungry!

    Supper finished and dishes no where done, I’d find my space on my side of the bed.
    “What are thinking?” My husband almost asleep once asked.
    “Listen” I said.
    “I don’t hear anything right now”.
    “I know. Isn’t it wonderful.”

  55. 77

    The ability to freeze time for a few minutes every day, so I could take a nap UNDISTURBED without getting a babysitter or pick up all the toys without sacrificing the just-picked-upness (totally a word) of another room. Or even so I could really sit and LISTEN and TALK to one child without the others interrupting.

  56. 78

    You most definetely included good humor and have received many responses from beautifully loving, articulate, and mutually connected Moms! From one “older” Mom with grown children who hopefully learned during their “formative years” things they can usefully transfer to their own children, gratitude for what was and reflection of how quickly it passes. While in the “trenches” the work seems endless and often times unappreciated. Be expectant while you continue in your remarkable and vital ministry, and pray! You are not alone in your journey as evidenced by your offerings and reinforcements in your co-Moms as well as us “older” Moms as testimony, that this is a season of life full of joy, sacrifice, and challenge. Be encouraged with the knowledge that prayers surround you and nothing is wasted!

  57. 79
    Wendi Lane says:

    It was great meeting you and Miss Zoe on Saturday evening!! You are an amazing lady and it was great meeting you!!!

    I would have to add..garbage’s that empty themselves and throw out automatically things like keys and cell phones :)

    Bathroom floors that automatically clean especially with boys and during potty training!!

  58. 81

    I love your list and so true of what I felt when my children were younger. Now I find the list is changing a little. I no longer hear Barney too often (now it is iCarly and Selena Gomez), and I begin to wish for invisible chaperones to walk home with my girls.

  59. 82

    Love this list!! Ad a new mommy of a 3-month-old, I’d add:

    1) The ability to easily and quickly read my baby’s cues and know exactly what he wants/needs
    2) A personal professional photographer that captures the precious moments I want to remember (so I have the pictures but am also still part of the moment!)
    3) The ability to keep my priorities straight and to keep my life in balance rather than being swept away by the chaos.

  60. 83

    I believe Moms(christian) want a closer walk with the Lord and godly children.

  61. 84

    I commented on here yesterday. I wanted to say that this is so true! All of it and all of the comments but one of the comments got me thinking. I wrote a post about it this afternoon and I thought You, Lisa, might like it. I’m sharing it here if it lets me. Thank you for all you do for moms everywhere. You allow us to be great moms because we can say the truth out loud and not be put down for it! http://mrskimismymom.com/2012/03/15/ive-been-thinking/

  62. 85

    To be able to wear an outfit for more than one day without it being covered in snot/vomit/food, and children who get themselves to the bathroom on time and don’t pee all over the floor and their clean jeans.

  63. 86

    Each time I come here I find myself reveling in the fact that I’m not the only one who feels the way I do at times!

    I often wish I could have that button the Jetsons had…you know…you push it and the meal just pops up?

  64. 87

    Love it all! Here are my additions:
    1. Teens who ask “how was your day mom”, “can I do anything for you”
    2. Teens who don’t roll their eyes, or sigh, or say ‘whatever’, or ‘mom you are embarrasing me!’
    3. Teens who say ‘mom I want to spend Friday night with you, rather than my friends. Let’s go out to dinner and see a movie’!!!!!

  65. 88

    this is HILARIOUS! how about husbands that give nightly foot rubs without being asked!

  66. 89

    Dust bunnies that magically disappear, taking all the leftover dust with them (I despise dusting!).

    And, someone to bring me a hot cup of tea when I’m sick. I’m rarely sick, but when I am, my poor hubby is too busy taking care of our 5 kids to take care of me too.

  67. 90

    A money tree.
    Self cleaning toilets (and little boys with perfect aim)
    Weedless gardens
    Automatic lost toy (and sock) finder
    Actual quiet time with God

    • 91

      I wanted to edit and say
      “The ability to remember the joys of my children being small for the rest of my life” I’m always so afraid I’m going to forget this season, but I don’t have time to write it all down.

  68. 92

    shoes that stick together when kiddos take them off so you are not looking for the other one even though they took them off in the SAME place.

    a vaccuum cleaner that goes up steps by itself. in fact … how about a vaccuum that knows when to pull itself out of the closet and do the whole thing for you.

    a self-weeding front walk

    a girlfriend to giggle with and add to this list together. (with our non-reheated coffee/tea)

  69. 93

    I especially love the ‘Beth Moore on speed dial’ one. :)

  70. 94

    Great list Lisa-Jo!
    I wish:
    That I grew an extra arm with the birth of each kid.
    That my daughter enjoyed cleaning up her toys as much as she enjoys dumping them out.
    That I had a memory eraser for every sharp or careless word I’ve spoken to their little hearts.

  71. 95

    Plexiglass inserts between carseats
    self-cleaning dishes
    self-cleaning EVERYTHING

    Thank you for sharing!!! I love this!!!!

  72. 96

    oh…great list…you have a real gift for making me smile…THANK you!…one day they will cut their own food..I promise :)

  73. 97

    Could I just say that although “bathroom without an audience” made the top of the list, I was just thinking the other day about how blessed I am to have company everywhere I go! LOL.

  74. 98

    Maybe a repeat, but coffee that doesn’t get cold in your cup … I can’t remember the last time I got to drink all of my coffee while it was ALL still hot!

  75. 99

    -a magic mirror to monitor where my children are and who they are with when we’re apart
    -a personal chef. i used to really love cooking, until my menu shrank to accommodate some picky pre-schoolers and a fussy husband.

  76. 100

    I would add detachable boobs so someone else can feed the baby. Alternatively, I would settle for telekinesis, so that when I am stuck on the couch nursing, everything outside my reach (including a disobeying toddler) could be summoned with a single thought.

    As to no. 33, we love this: http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-LMNOPs/183441001668227

  77. 101

    My kids are teens now, and I would really love a self-filling fridge that would post weekly mens for me. I don’t mind preparing healthy meals, it’s the shopping and planning that do me in.
    My mother-in-law gave me the best advice ever for the days of small children both good and bad days. “just remember Marie. Long days, short years. ” This has been so true, and my husband and I often wish we could have them back as small children just for a short time.

  78. 102

    Nice strike through on that post title. heh heh ;)

  79. 103
    rhonda statler says:

    a car wash for kids in their own bathroom!

  80. 104
    Sarah-Anne K. says:

    Have you seen the book Little Pea by Amy Krouse Rosenthal? It relates perfectly to your 23, candy flavored vegetables. Do read it if you have a chance (I found it at my library!). :)


  81. 105

    One whole day without the word ‘WHY?’ would be amazing!!

  82. 106

    This reminds me of a country song, “You’re going to miss this; you’re going to want this back. You’re going to wish these days hadn’t gone by so fast. These are the good times, take a look around and see. .”

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