My mom used to dance in the mornings.
A happy, shameless jig in her PJs right there out in the driveway as my dad drove us off to school. She’d dance and wave and grin and I could feel the love well up from my toes to my nose. It spilled out of me – this being someone’s daughter. Loved. Cherished. Celebrated.
She’s been dead now 18 years to the day since I turned 18.
Time passes and with it go the birthdays, anniversaries, new babies, first steps, preschool orientations, international moves, new jobs, hair color changes. And each milestone is a mile more in the road that we don’t walk together.
I am the motherless daughter.
If you are too, can I take your hand?
Can I stroke the hair back from your forehead and just be here with you? Can I whisper, “I know” and let you cry if you need to? Can I just sit a while beside you as you shout the hard questions?
I believe God can take it.
I believe He invites it.
…the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. Romans 8:26.
Go ahead and groan child. Let the part of you that never got to grow up with a mom weep if she needs to. You are beautiful and loved and not a single tear falls to the ground uncherished by the Father God who holds us both.
You keep track of all my sorrows.
You have collected all my tears in your bottle.
You have recorded each one in your book.
You are your mother’s daughter, created in your Father God’s image. And nothing can break that.
So let us celebrate quiet together. Whisper into the comments what you miss, what you loved, what you wish she might have done different, what you wish you’d said, what makes you your mother’s daughter. And today I will stop, remember, and rejoice with you, my beautiful friend!
Happy nearly mother’s day,