This post is not about whether mothers should work or should stay home.
This post is not about whether it’s better to home school or go the public, or Montessori or other route.
This post is not about whether it’s harder to work at home or out of the home.
This post is simply a whispered, “I know,” to the Sunday night, getting ready for work tomorrow, mamas.
The ones who are right now wiping down the counters, packing up the lunch boxes, sorting the socks, going through the mental gymnastics of gearing up for another week of good-byes. The ones preparing themselves for the waves of weekend homesickness that will hit when 5am comes early and preschool or daycare drop offs come inevitably.
This post is for the brave moms who know the ache of early good-byes.
For the ones who will commute hours before the rest of us get up because that’s what it takes to keep home a place of food and warmth and security. For the courage it takes to trust your children to someone else’s care. For the ones who beat themselves up harder, longer, more ruthlessly than the rest of us could possibly imagine.
This post is for the women who are short on grace for themselves.
I hear you. I know you. I lived in your shoes for long years and it is hard. And there are voices that can make us feel small. Make us feel achey breaky in our bones. Voices that lie about the quality of our mothering and try to steal the joy of time spent with our children by making us worry about the time spent apart.
My Sunday night sisters, I have listened to the crackly static of a nagging voice that whispers, deserter, and hear me when I tell you that that voice is a liar.
I know that going to work when you want to be home can feel like being trapped. It can make you want to beat your head on the wall. It makes you shrink next to those who point out what you should be, especially when it’s what you want to be. It can be an endless cycle of self beratement.
But for those of us in that place and season, we lift up our eyes to the hills and help comes. The Holy Spirit ministers tenderly, bandaging wounded hearts and restoring what the deceiver has tried to destroy. We need grace from others because goodness knows we rarely get it from ourselves.
And when the crackly static of the nagging dies down there is another voice and He whispers, provider.
He sings over you.
He is waiting for you in the morning as you struggle to wake up. When the glare of the bathroom lights blind and tired eyes fight the lenses they need to face the day, He is there.
He sings,
She gets up while it is still dark;
she provides food for her family.Proverbs 31:15
You are no less and no more than the mothers who get to stay home. God did not give them a pass and you a punishment. You do not need to apologize for the fact that you work. You do not need to be embarrassed.
We practice dying to our own desires every day with each good-bye, each desperate hug, each meal prepared and left to be eaten in our absence. We walk the hard path of trust. Trusting that the God who built our kids will parent them in our absence, will grow them in courage, and teach them over time that this is what love looks like.
Gritty, committed, and determined to do what is necessary.
And drenched in grace, friends. Drenched in grace.
Mandy Scarr
I’m crying right now. Thank you for this! I’m a working Mama and have felt bad about it for the past 7 years. You have no idea how much this post meant to me.
~Kelly
I hold you in my heart, Kelly. I hold you in my heart.
The words, drenched in grace, that drip from your mouth into the lives of others are such gifts. Thank you for always extending grace, love, and hope. I will share this with young moms.
Deb Weaver
thewordweaver.com
Thank you for writing this for the working moms. It is the most beautiful piece I have ever seen written for a group of women who matter just as much as the stay at home moms. I wish someone had said this stuff to ME when I was the working mom, beating myself up over what I wanted to be and didn’t know how I could be. Lisa Jo, you get more beautiful with every bit of grace that oozes out of you.
Sweet LJ, thank you sister for hearing the Spirit’s calling, his Holy prompting to pen the words that spoke to my soul tonight! From across the miles, thank you!
Holding your hand sister, from across all these miles.
I am a stay at home / work at home mom who just became a working mom this year. Luckily all three of my kids attend preschool and elementary at the school where I work, but still I feel like I”m doing something wrong. Thanks for reminding me I’m not.
This post – these words – they’re just simply love poured out as understanding and encouragement for working moms.
Thank you for bringing words that bless.
~Peace,
LuAnne
I want to be home SO desperately with my children. Thank you so much for your words of grace… reading them with tears as I get ready to go to work again tomorrow.
One of my kids always used to come and find me in the wee hours and sit with me as I got ready. It was a benediction, a grace, a blessing. And even as I remember it it aches. You are brave. Much braver than you know.
I just love you… How you make me feel normal & less alone. I hate the working mom guilt, the longing to be home with my kids. I try to focus on the positives, to remember how God is using my work to provide for us, but its easy to forget. Thanks, friend.
Just so…thank you.
This is fabulous. I’m passing it on …
Thank you for writing this. There are really no other words but thank you. Now, if I could just quit crying so I can finish packing that backpack.
Waterproof mascara, always waterproof mascara
Tears spilled from my eyes as I read this. Like Amy above, all I can say is thank you.
I am starting work tomorrow after havingy first baby. I have been struggling so badly with guilt, frustration, anger, and all the emotions that go along with that inevitable return. You had me in tears and gave me the strength to face tomorrow. Praise God in everything.
said a prayer for you this morning, Jillian. i’ve been all over the board as far as my work schedule goes through the years. i have four tweens/teens, and work very minimal hours most weeks now, but i understand all those feelings. hang in there! you are a warrior
steph
Amen and amen to what Hope Unbroken said. And if I may add? Take all that frustration to the God who is never threatened or worried by it. He and I had many a hard and shouty conversation over the years and I was always the better for it.
Thank you for posting. I am a first-time mom to a three month old, and am a working mother. This post made me cry because there are times I worry that I am not present enough for my baby girl. Thank you for the reminder that we are all trying to do what is best for our families. I really needed that.
Grace go with you today, Meg. And with your tiny beautiful brave daughter.
I’m crying, too. As I was leaving for my part-time job on Saturday, my tween asked, “Momma, can you just sit by me before you go to work? I never get to see you on the weekends.” I’m all they have, their dad checked out and we never hear from him with visits or financial support for the kids; I work full-time during the week, part time on the weekends which equals working everyday of the week. I try to justify working so much with the fact that it allows them to participate in a couple of activities they otherwise would not be able to do, but I get tired and worn down and the voices get louder than I can drowned out sometimes. Thank you!
Thank you for the encouragement. Just finished packing up 2 school lunches, making sure lunch is ready for the toddler, then packing my own lunch for work. Your words refresh me as I prepare for the week of unwelcomed separations, reminding me to trust the One who made me AND them.
Yes I often forgot that He knows them better. I can trust Him. I can.
Your post was shared with me by a friend. Now tears stream down my face as I type because I have only heard “Deserter” and words of tremendous guilt for seven long years. You so eloquently gave light to a deep place in my heart and mind that has judgement for the time I am away from home. Thank you for speaking these words.
Grace and peace and freedom to you, Rachel. So much grace.
I unexpectedly started sobbing from this beautiful post. Thank you! For some reason I can’t even explain the guilt but you just summed it up.
As a working momma who is heading back to work soon after the birth of my son, I thank you! That tearing of my heart is so familiar & yet without my income we could not afford our home, our bills, our food. I am grateful for your words today.
THANK YOU!
Thank you so much for these words of faith and wisdom!!!!
Great article! I appreciate your words very much! What’s even worse for me is actually enjoying your work as much as enjoying being a mom. Trying to balance that out is my own source of guilt. I feel bad because I don’t have that *longing* to stay at home. I feel bad because I love my job and I love being a financial contributor to the family. Like I am less of a mom because I *want* to work….
Don’t feel bad. No one should feel trapped at home. I’m beginning to realize that I would be happier working part time (though that may not be possible for me due to logistical issues, and I don’t really want to work full time). For me the key is a combination of financial and personal. If I could return to the workforce to a job I loved, that paid enough to make it worth my while. As it is now, if I returned to work, I wouldn’t bring home much after taxes and daycare. I can’t imagine a job I would love enough for that. Never feel guilty for loving your work. Loving your children doesn’t necessarily mean you love being with them 24 hours a day. (I don’t love being with my kids all the time). I often wish I had a job I loved that much, that paid me enough that I could work.
Thank you Bethany. Yes. There are so many lies whispered by mother guilt; don’t listen to them. Sift through, with grace and peace as your barometer. You are loved, you mother, you are brave.
Marcy,
I feel the exact same way – most days. I like working. It makes me feel like I am making a difference outside my home as well as inside it. I also try for that elusive balance between home and work and personal time. I don’t have it, but to borrow a phrase from Lysa TerKeurst, I am making “imperfect progress”. This year, I have decided (and am trying to follow-through) on listening what my heart says about my life and not what everyone else thinks.
Keep being true to your heart.
Amen to this Holly. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for these words of genuine love written to ALL moms! I have struggled with reading so many blogs/books by stay at home…home schooling moms. We women judge ourselves and others so critically. Your reminder of Proverbs 31:15 is great. Most moms wake early…we have to. Full throttle, we dig a little deeper, it’s the only way we go. Inside of us is our sweet Father, calling us each to our journey! That call is the only call that matters.
Yes, the only very one that matters. Thank you Jennifer.
I read this as I’m getting ready for work….Thankyou so much.
Thank you, friend. A hundred times over, thank you — for being obedient to the tug for this to be written. He is so good. And so gracious.
This: “We practice dying to our own desires every day . . . We walk the hard path of trust. ”
Oh, Amen.
I know right!
This: “We practice dying to our own desires every day . . . We walk the hard path of trust. ”
That totally got me too.
And it applies to all aspects of motherhood, doesn’t it? This is just one way and one path that requires exercising that trust. Thanks Amy and Vicki.
thank you for this. i shared it on facebook because a lot of moms need this! i have struggled and struggled for years with this guilt. the Lord has finally blessed me with something where my kids can be with me after school… but the guilt is still there with every missed in school event like class trips, my younger son’s gingerbread house making in school… so thank you for this. i get so focused in my own mess and guilt that i forget about the millions of mamas in my shoes- or even worst off than i am (moms in the military, moms who have to travel, moms who work double shifts, etc…). so i will commit to pray for all working mamas.- thank you again!!!
This undid me. As a single mom(not by choice) who would love to stay home more than anything, I needed this reminder. I have only heard the lies of the enemy. Thank you, especially, for the scriptures you shared. You are such an encouragement in all of your posts.
Hold tight Susanna, the Father God has got your hand and He is always faithful. You are beloved as much as your children and you are covered in grace. Blessings on you today, friend.
Sitting here this morning having read this, with tears streaming. I am the Mimi (& daycare provider) to my two granddaughters. I forwarded your post to my daughter who works so hard & would much rather be home with her 2 babies. Thank you for sharing this & for encouraging ALL the working moms. May God richly bless you & continue to use you!
Thank YOU Joanne for being a safe place for your grandkids. What a tremendous gift. Thank YOU!
This is what I read first thing, 5:30AM sitting here trying to wrestle with drooping eyelids and learning from God… My baby is 16 and yet every but of this rings try. And the lies I listen to, tell myself and believe they are still a struggle… But “drenched in grace” oh thank you friend just thanks you for speaking to this “I’m barely awake, I haven’t had my coffee yet and really I have to go to work?” mama…
Thank you. This is what I needed to hear on this day. Gods hand is in your work.
Thank you very much for writing this. I want so much to be at home, but due to my husband’s illness, I have to work. I am encouraged.
Sophia
Brave Sophia, blessings on you today!
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you.
Lisa-Jo,
I wish I could hug you and take you out for coffee. Your words ministered to this working mama’s heart this morning. I cried. Alot. Thank you for reminding me I am drenched in grace when I too often forget or worse yet, refuse to accept.
Enjoying that cup of coffee with you Jen
Blessings on a fresh beautiful day tomorrow.
As a mom of 5 who first stayed home for 11 years and have been a working 40 plus hours a week mom for the last 17 I am so grateful for this post and wish I’d been able to read this years ago. The guilt, sadness, conflict I felt met with the ungrace of all those stay at home mamas around me. So.hard. Thanks for gracing the ungrace with your words.
I think that no matter our choice, we moms feel guilty. I feel guilty for staying home and watching the bills just barely get paid each month, wondering if there will be enough money to keep my daughter in pants and almost wishing my son wouldn’t be an early walker so we can save money on shoes. But when I begin taking steps towards returning to the workforce I am faced with the same lies written above. I find myself in a constant battle including the idea of giving up my dream of homeschooling only to send my kids off to a sub-par public school system (which is our only other financial choice). Grace to all of you working outside the home, those working from home, in the home, stay at home and every other combination in between. This is the season you are in. This is where God has called you for now. Take heart.
Yes we all need an abundance of grace in this mothering journey, don’t we Bethany. Thanks for the reminder and the encouragement.
Great post, Lisa. I really appreciate this!
Thank you!! I so needed this today!! What a godly, beautiful blessing you are!!
Also crying. Thank you so much. What a gift.
Thank you a thousand times my Sunday Sister!
This post brought me to tears, and after many tears of struggle yesterday and prayers to God to change my attitude about being a working mom, this was just what I needed this morning. Your words hit the nail on the head and put a voice to my feelings. It’s good to know I’m not alone in my struggle. Your words are a blessing, and I will return to them again and again when I am having a beat myself up kind of day. Thank you.
Not alone by a long shot, Emily. Blessings on you today brave mama!
Wow. I needed to hear this more than I even knew. I have a 6 week old and my deepest dreams and desires revolve around being able to stay home with him. I went back to work 2 weeks ago, and it has been super hard. Until I read this, I didn’t even realize that the guilt was there. Rooted so deeply. Thank you.
Lisa-Jo…You Rock! You are a Proverbs 31 woman for sure! You are capturing what we are feeling, thinking, and doing! Keep it going! Love it!
Exactly what my heart needed in this moment of struggle between the work / life balance. Thank you for giving me permission to grant myself GRACE, for ironically I’m much harder on myself than I realize. Life is a mixture of give and take, and I will embrace the Sunday night preparation knowing that it will be bring a tear-free, stress-free and yell-free Monday morning.
Wow! A young mommy friend shared this and it is beautiful. What grace you have, and what beautiful writing. God bless you in your ministry!
“We need grace from others because goodness knows we rarely get it from ourselves. And when the crackly static of the nagging dies down, there is another voice and He whispers, provider.”
Lisa-Jo, I wept over this article. It was precisely what I needed to read last night, when an entire weekend had been ‘wasted’ away by doing the things that needed doing when I’d rather be holding my son instead. Making baby food. Laundry. Laying insulation in the attic, to try to make our home just a little bit warmer and just a little less drafty. The mantra to get through quivering muscles furious at me for making them go in places too small up in the attic was, ‘Because my Baby Needs This,’ and that’s somehow still not enough? Because it never seems to be enough.
Thank you for telling me that the voice is a liar. Even when you know it, sometimes you just have to read it from someone else’s fingertips. To hear it. To read it. To internalize it all over again. I read a second and third time again today, just to give myself a little extra encouragement to get through the freezing rain and morning heartbreak.
Thank you. /Thank you./
Woman of Valor! You are brave and a wonder and your children will call you blessed one day. Peace on your tomorrow.
Wow…I saw a link to this post on FB, and this is something I struggle with all the time. I was in tears by the end and couldn’t even see the words. I have already added your blog to my Google Reader list that I sift through on pumping breaks at work. What an encouragement!
Hey there Kwojo, it’s lovely to meet you. And women who pump at work? That is a special kind of courage and may you have peace in your days and blessing in your nights with your little one. Warm wishes, Lisa-Jo
“You are no less and no more than the mothers who get to stay home. God did not give them a pass and you a punishment. You do not need to apologize for the fact that you work. You do not need to be embarrassed.” I need to read those words every day as I’ve struggled through so many why’s and so much guilt. This is the first time I’ve read a Christian post that doesn’t condemn me for having to work or suggest that I could do better by being a stay-at-home mom. Thank you so much for writing this; it’s a timely, encouraging word for this tired mama.
Hi there Micah (waves from the comfy bed) – yes, I’ve heard so many of those hard words in the past and I know enough now to know that mothering is hard without us beating up on one another. Praying peace on your journey and such a profound knowledge of the grace and goodness of God in all things. Blessings, Lisa-Jo
Wow! I so needed this today…thank you for posting
“And when the crackly static of the nagging dies down there is another voice and He whispers, provider.”
Thank you for this post. I’m crying as I read it. Wow.
“Trusting that the God who built our kids will parent them in our absence, will grow them in courage, and teach them over time that this is what love looks like.” Such truth and such encouragement for us all. Beautiful words!
As a nanny, I can empathize because I’ve worked for a long string of working mothers who felt they needed to constantly defend or make excuses for wanting (or needing) to work.
But without their careers, I wouldn’t have my career. And my career is the most life-giving, joyful, fulfilling career possible (for me.)
I love working moms. They don’t love their family less, they don’t want “a break” from the house/the kids/the laundry. They want to provide the best possible life for their children, and they work so they can afford to do so. I have nothing but respect for all moms who work!
I love that you shared this, Jaynie. Thank you thank you. Even though I work from home now, I still work full time and couldn’t possibly do it without a nanny. She’s a gift and the biggest grace in my life in so many ways.
My oldest is 9 and I have struggled with this all those years. I have an almost 5 year old and felt the guilt when I dropped her off at daycare. We have another baby girl in our lives now through adoption and while the guilt has gotten better it will still be hard in 4 short weeks when I drop her off. I think a lot of my guilt now comes from me not enjoying my job anymore and being stuck in it for now. Thank you so much for your words.
You have adopted? Shauna, you know that makes you some kind of wonderful right? Guilt be gone, you are a hero in every way that matters. Blessings on you and your family!
This was a wonderful post. I struggle all the time trying to balance being a mom…wife…and work. I sometimes loose “me” in all of it.
Thank you so much for this. My eyes teared up as I continued to read. My heart aches to be home with my child, but I know this is where God has me in this season. Thank you. Thank you.
Taking my kiddo to the doctor tomorrow, partly to talk about seperation anxiety and speech issues. Seperation anxiety – from me, which he has continued to go through for over a year. My momma guilt is huge, and I wonder if his introversion and speech issues are caused by me being at the office. Even if it is caused by me, I work because I have to, so what could I do?
http://wellthoughtoutlife.blogspot.com/2013/01/on-working-momma-guilt-and-worries.html
Pray, and hold tight to the hand of the Father who knows the answer. Then listen to see what could change, what you could shift, what small difference you could perhaps make that would be a big change for your boy. So many blessings on you both.
One more thought, Kacie, after reading your blog post – my Micah was a clingy one too. Terribly, desperately anxious without me. And he was the one in daycare earliest. I learned to just give myself to him totally any time I could. We gave up on the church nursery and I simply told the women who worked there that “kids need a Sabbath too.” Micah needed rest from being away from me. He needed as much of me as I could give the time we had together. He would sleep on my face, sit on the toilet seat in the mornings when I got ready, hold my hand, stroke my face. And I let him. I just let him. I surrendered as much of my time and my own space to fill him up as I reasonably, feasibly could and it made a huge difference. For both of us, I would say.
So for your sweet Judah – if you can just simply decide to be his first and foremost for a season, I think this will bless you both.
Praying for you guys tonight,
Lisa-Jo
Thank you. I think this is my instinctive response and then I sometimes feel the pressure from others to ask him to be more disciplined, to push him into time with others so that he adjusts to it, etc.
I think it seems to me he just wants his mom. Your words are encouraging.
You know what part got me? The darn meals prepared to be eaten in our absence. It’s easier for me to just consider the fun and playtime I’m missing…but the tending to and caring for that I’m missing? That’s heart breaking.
We all need more grace. Love. Compassion. And truth-speakers. Thank you, Lisa Jo, for being a truth-speaker.
Wow.. it is so enlightening.. really helpful to know that working moms experience guilt too! As a stay at home mom I have felt guilty for years that I don’t provide for my family. I coupon, make my own soaps and such, but I don’t actually have a hand in making the money that I spread so thinly. I have experienced shame and guilt that I cannot afford to take my kids to Disney, buy them Gymboree clothing.. or even new clothing. God made it very clear to me that He wants me at home, but I always feel guilty when I can’t afford the big birthday party, or can’t afford ballet classes. Every family is different. Every family has its own calling. Every mom suffers from guilt. I will try to remember this post when that little green monster pops up.. Why trade my “mom guilt” for someone else’s “mom guilt?”
Who doesn’t need grace? So much, we all need so much of it. Blessings on you Miranda!
Thank you for the encouragement. You touched so many hearts today that are deeply in need of encouragement and grace. I can’t tell you what your words meant to my tired and weary heart. Thank you. Thank you.
I have not had a child at hone for many years now, however, reading this transported me back to re -live every word you wrote. I heard the deceiver guilt and berate me to the point of fear and desperation. But stand strong and firm, for the day came for me, as it will come to many, where humbly we can admit to ourselves we made it through the fire. Maybe not unscathed, but made it through none the less.
Thank you for this…My kids are a bit older (11 and 7) but that guilt hit like a lead brick on my head as I watched their faces cry for me. Now, I still punish myself as I am facing to have my son tested for learning deficiencies this week thinking to myself “Maybe if I could have stayed home with him, I could have prepared him better, taught him better, read over things…” all those things that moms do when they feel their child is struggling or hurt. I don’t give myself grace but thank you for reminding me that I deserve it as much as anyone else does…..
I really appreciate this! However, please don’t forget about us moms who love our jobs, and find incredible fulfillment in our professional careers. We also have the guilt of “Why do you love your job – you should feel badly about working!” in addition to the ongoing mommy guilt. My job makes me a better person and a better mother, b/c I am happy there.
It’s such a double edged sword, Beth. You’re right! I love my job and sometimes I feel guilty that it’s not drudgery. But I also want to be with my kids every moment that I can.
Hear you, Beth. I hear you. And I think the only answer is always more grace – more for the working moms, more for the stay home moms, more for the homeschoolers who worry they’re not getting it right and more for the women who worry over sending their kids out to school. There are a million myriad ways we can fall prey to the same guilt and tonight, tonight I pray a soothing balm of grace, heaven sent, for each one of us.
Blessings on you tonight,
Lisa-Jo
(who currently LOVES her full time, happens to be work from home job very very much
I am a working mama. My daughter just turned a year old. Going to work gets a little harder every day. Thank you for this.
Thank you for this post – I don’t think I’ve read anything that feels truer as a full-time working mama. Most mornings, I leave before my little one has even opened her eyes. The guilt and the pain is oh-so deep. Everyone says it will get easier; yet, here I am a year and a half later, and it’s still so hard. Thank you so much for sharing!
I am that Sunday night momma too. And it hurts…and it will never get easier…and that’s ok. Grace will make it ok.
Lisa Jo, thank you for this! One of my coworkers sent me this link today, and it brought tears to my eyes. I can hear your soothing, grace-filled voice saying it to me as I read. It’s a little easier since my girls are in school, but I was always the one to be there when they ran out to the car in the afternoons. It is a blessing to have a job – but it’s tough.
Hey Sarah – yes, there aren’t enough ways to say how much mothers need grace. From themselves, their families, their communities, their churches. To mother is to change lives often starting with your own. And it unmakes us and puts us together again in unique and often painful and beautiful ways. Where would we be without friends to bring over the soup, cover the after school pick ups, remind us that it’s parent teacher day. We need each other. Because after all, we’re in this together. So blessings on you tonight, friend.
Warm wishes
Lisa-Jo
Thank you for this post, it was such an encouragement~ I will keep it and remember it on those hard, guilt-ridden days when I would rather be cuddling up with my growing-ever-so-fast 14 month old daughter instead of working to pay all those bills *sigh*
Before I read all the comments saying a simple ‘thank you’ for this… that was all I could think to write. I don’t know whether the post or the comments were more powerful, but simply ‘thank you’ Lisa Jo and ‘thank you’ to all of you. I feel so much less alone. again, ‘thank you’.
Amen and amen Melissa. It felt like a benediction -all these women sharing a shared heart break and a shared hope. How much wonder we can do when we listen gently and offer grace before anything else. Thank YOU.
warm wishes
Lisa-Jo
Oh Lisa,
I am a stay at home mom now but I have been that mom and I so wish someone had said these words to me in that precarious season when I begged my daughter’s caregivers not to tell me if she took her first steps when she was with them, to let me believe, when it happened, that it was for me first. I was the mom who cried every. single. day. when I dropped her off and hated how fast the weekends flew and how my phone would inevitably ring with some urgency 10 minutes before I was supposed to pick her up during the week. Even though I am no longer that mom, I remember all those feelings.
I love that you get it, as you so often do, and are able to put it into such loving words. Thank you for speaking such beautiful mom truth.
Blessings & hugs,
Nicole
As a single mom who first had to put my daughter in daycare at the age of 4 months and has been working shift work since, thank you for this. It has touched me more than you know <3
thank you so much for this! It is just wonderful to read a Christian blog about working mums that isn’t telling me that I need to be at home all of the time with my daughter. This wrestle in my heart comes up every now and then, and was just peeking up again! We are blessed because she spends her time with her grandmother when I am gone, but still I wonder if its the right thing!! Thank you for the reminder that I am ‘no more and no less’ than my stay at home mum friends.
Thanking you through thick tears! You have no idea how much I needed to hear this today. God has spoke straight to my heart through you!!
saying a prayer for all of us working mamas right now! 
Thank you for this. It’s exactly what I needed right now.
Lisa-Jo this spoke to my heart, someone understands ot heart. It was like you were listening to my heart on Sunday. Im a working mom and have had these thoughts nd thought i was all alone. But im not, shout out to all you working moms. God will se you through everyday. Im right here with you. God bless you LIsa and thank you for sharing and encouraging us!
Sunday Nighter,
Adrienne
Thank you for this post and the comments for fellow working moms. It is comforting to know I am not alone.
Thank you so much for posting. You said exactly how I’ve been feeling. My girls beg for me to stay home and my heart breaks each time I tell them I can’t. I’ve also have received some hurtful comments. I will try to remember to have grace. Thank you again.
You will never know of my need (today, right this minute) of grace. I needed this reminder and encouragement like I need air and water today. I am a new mom and only work half a day, but when your heart is at home, even 15 minutes would seem like eternity. A month and a half of daycare has created havoc in my heart – guilt, frustration, unhealthy comparison, anger and frustration. Every morning I get up in desperate need of the Lord’s grace and many times forget that He gives it freely. Thank you for faithfully posting hard things that turn out to be sweet reminders to sinners who forget to trust the Lord.
Oh but He is so faithful. Praise the Lord.
This post was forwarded to me by a member of an online group I belong to, after I had just posted about dealing with “Mom Guilt vs. Work Guilt”. It touched me and I still tear up every time I reread it. Thank you for giving me the strength to perservere and the confidence to know that others know the internal struggle that I’m going through. I am not alone in this!!
This was perfect just what I needed as I sit here at work sad missing my baby. I feel a lot better now.. thank you!!!!!!
These words were shared with me by my daughter, who is in law school. I am spending a month with her to help with childcare of my beautiful granddaughter. I was a single parent who worked full time and pursued a Masters degree & God made sure I also had a community to raise my 3 children when I worked Long hours to make ends meet and to create a better life for us all. For years I have carried guilt, especially when my children also complained about being latchkey kids. God did protect us through it all. I am happy that my daughter has found your message & perhaps she won’t carry the same guilt as she pursues an advanced degree. And thank you for providing scripture to support the mother’s dedication to caring for her family.
Thank you so much for this; I really needed to hear it. My daughter (my first baby) is almost six months old, and not being able to stay home with her has been so hard, even though I know I’m providing things my family needs (food, health insurance, half the mortgage payment, etc.) by working.
No one can understand the guilt we feel as a working mom that carts their kid off Mon thru Fri. I pray for Friday to come quick and.for Sundays to never end.
I read this as I am preparing to leave my sweet 19 mos old and 4 mos old as I head back to work tomorrow after a fleeting maternity leave. Thank you for allowing the Holy Spirit to speak truth and life through your words. You connect the tender and ruthless hearts of mothers all over the world. Blessings!
Thank you, thank you, thank you! I stumbled upon this post on Pinterest a few weeks ago, and I have re-read it several times because I just need this encouragement so badly. I am 35 weeks pregnant with my first child, and I am already feeling the sting of having to return to work after my baby is born. I’d so much rather stay at home, but my family needs my income. My church gave me a wonderful baby shower yesterday, and I wanted to cry this morning as I left for work with all the wonderful gifts piled in the middle of the living room floor. I won’t have time to cut off tags and put them away today because I am at work. My heart breaks for my husband too because my desire to stay at home makes him feel guilty, like he’s not doing a good enough job of providing for our family since I have to work. It’s a vicious cycle, really. I think I’m going to print this post and put in on my bathroom mirror so it can be a daily reminder that I am truly doing what my family needs from me, even if it hurts.
Dear Lisa Jo,
You inspire me to hope, love and real, authentic motherhood! Thank you for writing and sharing your heart. I am a working momma of 3 little ones, 2 girls and a boy (ages 4 going on 5, 2 and a half, and 5 months). I am tired. I grow weary. I feel the full weight of that guilt at times. I have never ever seen it written so eloquently as you did. It is almost like you shared the heaviness of my heart through your words. I am full of joy. I love mommyhood, I love writing, and I love my job teaching 2nd graders. Your blog post came to my email box on a Sunday night and I wept. I shared it to my facebook page. I printed it out and read it every chance I can get. I love your heart. I wish I could meet you in person. I feel like I already know you through the journey of your writing and your photos. I want to encourage you to keep on. You are making a difference. I recently entered the blog world and I am going to work on mustering the courage to carve out the 5 minute space to join your 5 minute Friday. I hope you are having a good weekend, my sister in Christ! <3
I just wanted to thank you and the other moms who have posted here. I am so fortunate to be blessed with two little ones ages 1 & 3, they are by far the best things that have ever happened to me. I am also so fortunate to have a job that allows me to provide for them, but it requires me to work 60 hours a week and for that I am guilt stricken. I feel like a terrible mother. I get home in time to fix dinner give baths and put them to bed. I leave hours before they are awake. Last night was really hard because I felt like I spent the entire time I had with them getting on to them for mischief. I laid them down in their beds and wept. This morning I am still very upset but you all gave me a little peace. I live for Sunday’s the one day I do not go to work. I am often afraid that my children will resent me for not being there, but I have no choice and hope they will see in the future I do this for them. Again, I just wanted to say thank you for giving me a glimmer of peace.
I am a stay at home mama, and I also thank you for this post. It made me feel the ache of my sisters (both literal and figurative) who work so hard to provide for their families. In the daily, persistent, illogical demands of toddlers and utter sameness of routine regardless of the day of the week- it’s easy to lose perspective. This brought it home for me. Thanks.
I am a full time working my since the day my son was born. I see so many of my friends and woman I know staying home with their children. I want those days where I just didn’t get the laundry done to walk on a sunny day. My line of work there is no weekend or night time solace. I work those as well. This made me cry because of just how true this is. Most of what those single mom’s say is not mean but more that I am jealous. The ones that can attend ever game or practice, bake cookies on a whim, have a spontaneous beach day, or just lay around with a pajama day. Thank you for this. I know without my job there would be no ice cream trips at all, no lunches to pack for a picnic and no vacations to take at all.
I have cried with this post so much. I have been very depressed about having to go to work. I worry that because of my work, my boys will not have an opportunity to enjoy sports, play dates, or other things. I’ve had the sense that my focus has been on my work primarily. Just the other day, I sent my son without his school uniform to school thinking it was his ‘casual day’…well, I mixed up the days. I did this on his birthday! How could I do this? I’m so exhausted that I lack everywhere around the house. I’m praying that Jesus will bless me with enough energy to do the laundry, fold it, and put it away. Thank you for your post; the Proverbs 31 verse made me cry. I always tell my husband that I can never be the Proverbs 31 woman because I work outside the home. I never related to it until today. Thank you for blessing me.