13 Feb 2013

Sparkly Green Earrings {giveaway} because Melanie said there’d be days like this

UPDATED:

The three lovely winners of a copy each of Sparkly Green Earrings are: commenters 153 Missy, 161 Elspeth, and 89 Jenny Trask. Emails with details headed your way!

 

It’s good to have friends who remind you how funny motherhood is. Beautiful, difficult, sad some days. But also funny. My friend Melanie wrote a book that has helped me laugh my way through the cray-cray days. It’s called Sparkly Green Earrings and it’s all the funny, beautiful crazy of motherhood wrapped up in a side splitting hug.

Mama and Melanie both knew there’d be days like this…

Three years ago last month I was late coming home from work. I had been early getting there.

My new contact lenses had suction cupped onto my eyeballs.

The house that I had left tidy that morning had been reduced to a reenactment of the apocalypse – the Toys r Us version.

One kid had eaten and the other had not. The one that had not was demanding chocolate, pear, candy, macaroni and cheese. Everything and anything that we did not have or would not give to him. To prove his point he flung a piece of steak at me.

When reprimanded he suddenly turned into a 15 year-old-girl, started stamping his foot, throwing his clothes around and barricaded himself in the bedroom.

Any excuse for an apology that he muttered out between tantrums was immediately followed by demands for chocolate. He took toys hostage. He was a walking time bomb and his little brother didn’t have enough sense to leave him alone and so kept getting shoved, pinched or pushed out the way.

My very own Max left a trail of destruction in his miserable wake and eventually had to be confined to his bedroom.

The diaper box and several drawers of clothes paid the price of his wrath

During one of my attempts to soothe the Wild Thing that had taken over my usually easy going preschooler, his freshly bathed brother clambered back into the empty tub and proceeded to lather his entire body with ponds extra rich face cream. He could have been a walking billboard for the old adage, “Soft as a baby’s bottom.” The discovery was not a happy one on my part.

When I attempted to turn on the shower to rinse him off he got hysterical and grabbed hold of me with both of his goop-besmeared hands. Then he buried his sticky cheeks in my shirt front.

While I was trying to rinse him off the other member of this two ring circus appeared in the doorway of the bathroom demanding watermelon. Surprised by the utter irrationality of the request since we didn’t have any watermelon in the house at the time I looked up and saw him opening a brand new package of pre-cut, uncooked squash.

I should have let him eat it.

But I didn’t have the energy to clean up all the partially chewed squash that would surely have been spit out all over the world once he realized it was not, in fact, watermelon.

I stepped on toy taxi cabs and rescue heroes en route to an intervention. Only to find as I tried to return the squash to its rightful place that a strong and vinegary aroma was hanging in the air.

The fridge door was open. And the kitchen floor was sporting a large puddle of oily goo.

It was the two-year-old, in the kitchen, with the salad dressing.

I found banana peels in the Tampax cubbie and last week’s dirty crock pot dishes in the oven. My cell phone was “washed” yesterday and there’s not a single clean towel in the house. We are out of “Cars” toothpaste since the last of it was used to “wash my doggie, mama” and there are ants climbing out of my computer.

As I type this the two culprits are still not asleep and have both snuck out of their beds and are playing “quietly, Micah, quietly, shhh mama says we gotta sleep” under the assumption that I must be deaf not to hear them.

I am not trying to stop them. I am not trying to clean up. I have made myself a cup of tea and a snack. And I’m sitting here on the sofa surveying the scene. Thinking about how my good friend Melanie said there’d be days like this.

For anyone who’s ever had one of those days, this book’s for you. For every mother who knows that “Robert Frost took the road less traveled because he wasn’t traveling with children who need to go to the bathroom every thirty minutes.” Yup, this one’s for you.

Giveaway now closed…

And today I’m giving away three copies in the hopes that three of you will find time at the end of a long tunnel of chaos for that cup of tea and a good laugh with a friend who totally understands.

Just leave a comment sharing a glimpse into one of your “mama said there’d be days like this” days so we can all laugh together and I’ll pick three random entries by Sunday night.

And even if you don’t win it, believe me, you’re gonna want to buy it. For yourself, for your mom, for anyone who’s ever felt that “real motherhood can alternate between feeling like some sort of pyramid scheme that your friends talked you into so you could share in their misery to being the most fulfilling thing you’ve ever done in your life.” ~ Sparkly Green Earrings: Catching the Light at Every Turn

Subscribers, click here to come over and leave your comment. I’m all ears…

 

Comments

{ Leave a Comment }
  1. 1

    When I chose suspicious silence in the moment because I needed a second to breathe, and paid dearly for that decision. My two boys had gone into the bathroom with their baby sister, and peed, yes peed, up in the air, and all three of them were drenched. In urine. And splashing and laughing and having a grand old time. All in all, not the refreshing moment of silence I had hoped for.

  2. 3

    I had a day like that on Monday. Anniversary of my mom’s birthday (she passed away just before my son came into this world) and I was in a funk, so everything was intensified. Work woes became meltdowns, and husband’s ideas became annoying, and toddler wanting playtime became exhausting. My pregnancy was making me nauseous and on top of it all we had a small group that evening to clean up and prepare for — my heart was not in the right place. So, we all stepped back, took a deep breath, and got in the car. We drove to the store, bought some balloons, and went to the park where we released them to heaven, for Grandma. Then we played on the slides until it was too dark to stay. It was lovely.

  3. 4

    OH MY, that sounds like my life on an almost daily basis!! The latest “phase” that my 4 1/2 year old daughter is in is that she asks me for sugar cookies, or brownies, or cake, or candy ALL DAY starting at breakfast time and ending when she goes to bed.

    She says she’s hungry, so I give her two choices of what she’d like to eat and she turns both down and says, “I want sugar cookies.” We have the mix in the cabinet, but the cookie cutters are at our “other house”. See, we had to move out of a house we’d just bought and lived in only 5 months, so we’re renting a house that’s less than half the size of the one we own, which happens to be 3 hours away. We’ve got boxes stacked everywhere, and the big one with the cookie cutters and cake decorating tools just wasn’t high on my priority list to bring to the rent house. But she doesn’t understand that. All she understands is that there is sugar cookie mix in the cupboard and that she has helped me make them before, so I should be able to make them again…NOW.

    There are really good days, and then there are days when I want to vent to another mom who understands completely and doesn’t judge me if I cave and let her eat marshmallows for breakfast. All I can do is my best at the moment and trust God to handle the rest.

  4. 5

    My six year old had this conversation with me at breakfast this morning:
    “Mom, when you and Dad die, [Brother] and I will be alone.”
    “Why do you think Dad and I are going to die?”
    “Well, you are getting pretty old.”
    “Oh, you think so? Surely, I’m not that old am I?”
    “Well, you know your skin on your face? It’s…”
    “Just stop right there, please.”

  5. 8

    One of my favorite of ‘those days’ was from when my boys were toddlers. When I was pregnant with my third child, during what I thought was a much-needed quiet time for everyone (but apparently only for me), I took a long and leisurely shower. My boys took the opportunity to find my husband’s very large jar of pennies…and joyously scatter them throughout the house. I found pennies for weeks. Pennies in the toilet, pennies in the shower, pennies covering the entire floor of my closet, pennies in my pillow case, pennies in my shoes….I still smile when I see a handful of pennies. At the time I was at the end of my rope, but it has become a funny family story. :)

  6. 9

    Mama said there would be days like this… My 18 month old daughter was too quiet and I was devastated when she held up my dripping wet iPhone and said, “uh oh Mama, potty.” Fishing a phone out of a toilet was never quite what I pictured of motherhood. :). Good thing we had the replacement plan!

  7. 10

    Oh how I wish I had a crazy mom story like some of the above comments. But now my life just seems very dull. My almost 2 year old still wakes in the middle of the night 3 or more nights a week and the only way he will go back to sleep is if we sleep on the couch. We go dow, I lay him on end and me on the other. I think he is falling back to sleep but then i feel his face, warm breath coming out of the sides of his binky, in my face whispering “miiilk… miiilk… miilk” Its sad and funny and exhausting all at once.

  8. 11

    Oh where to start. The potty training toddler does his business everywhere except the bathroom. He harasses his older brother during homework, and they’re all starving, “what’s for supper, I hate that!” It’s wearying and I find myself in a nightly countdown to bedtime when I will finally have peace.

  9. 12

    Sick and incapacitated. Ungraceful recline on couch while 2-year-old putters around. I color with one arm while the rest of me stays plastered to the cushions. “Mama’s going to rest her eyes.” She’s not deceived, but she lets me. I listen to her reading half-eloquent, half-gibberish books in her chair. My coloring arm, now ten pounds heavier, plays a memory game with cards on the floor. “Build blocks with Mommy now,” I hear, but Mommy is now a pale shade of green.

    A beat later she climbs onto the couch with me, two stuffed bunnies in her arms — one for her, one for me. “Rest with Mommy,” she declares, and takes three minutes to find the perfect position curled up inside my fetal one. Five seconds, then — “I need a dwink.” Trots off to sippy cup, drinks, comes back to “rest,” five seconds, “need a dwink,” repeat. I’m in that zone where I wonder if I can end the misery with a trip to the bathroom but every time she comes back to the couch to rest with me — my arms are open, my heart brimming.

  10. 13

    not that long ago…and my mom doesn’t remember it being anything “that bad” like the almost daily occurances at our house..so..not that long ago, we just moved into a “new to us”century home.. still doing renos..3 weeks after move in..still completely!! completely!! surrounded by boxes, with only small pathways through them from one door ,to the bathroom etc,,digging through boxes here and there for stuff….we all got sick..I thought I was going to miss it this time, b/c you see I was 5 months prego and still having “all day sickness” and I was feeling sick now too… My hubby works perm. midnights so I have all 3 of our children all day while he sleeps and all night by myself…ages 18 months- 5yrs…none of whom sleep through the night consistenly..well, this night, I was on less than no sleep because child one was just getting over sickness, when child 2 and 3 started too..every 15-20 min. they were sick, taking turns.all.night.long. they laid at the top of my bed on towels, I tried to curl myself up at the bottom. NOT sleeping..oh, and we’re doing renos still, so no working bathroom upstairs, I had to continually weave my way downstairs to the tiny bathroom to rinse the bucket, which only child 2 would use..child 3, too little..had a pj change and towel change every time..and that’s not even talking about the laundry I now was going to be doing for the next week……it was a very long night…

  11. 14

    Ah while writing this I am pumping while hiding in the poker room at the bar I work part time at so I can go home and hope for sleep… I hide to pump these days after our mini dachshund found a corner in the play room and pooped- my oldest was almost potty trained and decided he should poop by the dog’s poo… he wandered back into the room I was pumping in sans underpants and I realized what he had done. So I stopped to grab him and find his gift- only to find the dog eating my son’s poo. And small boy foot prints tracking the dog poo throughout the toy room… I had my son under one arm and grabbed the dog under the other- all while still exposed from my attempt to pump! I set my son in the tub and the dog in the patio… scrubbed the boy down and back to the toy room to scrub tracks. While doing this I forgot about the pump which I had left sitting unattended… I only cried a little over the spilt milk but was thankful the pumping at been interrupted early on and that my daughter had slept through it all!!

  12. 15

    It’s our first trip from South Africa to America, to visit my family for 2 months…have an incredibly jet-lagged 5 month old baby (10 hour time difference) who insists on waking up every 2 hours between 10pm and 6am! And he had just started sleeping through the night a month or two before we left! Bummer. Ah well…mama said there would be days/nights/weeks like this! Amazing how your body just adapts and runs on mother adrenaline! ;)

  13. 16

    My 18 month old usually sits in the front of the shopping cart but on this particular day he kept trying to stand up. Thinking it was a stroke of genius I moved him to the basket where he was thrilled to be standing up. To keep him occupied I gave him a snack cup with animal crackers and kept shopping. I’m on the cheese aisle looking for a particular cheese when I turn and look to find him spitting wet-gooey chewed up animal cracker goo onto my groceries. I was mortified and wasn’t sure how I would explain this to the checkout cashier. On that day I felt I was indoctrinated into mommy-hood. I survived but don’t think I’ll ever let him wander freely in the basket again.

  14. 17

    We had one of those days… let’s just say it involved a toddler + step stool + 13 ft piece of floss + pen and hardwood floors with a lovely touch on the wall… and that was just before lunch time ;-)

    Thank you for sharing honestly and with loving encouragement!

  15. 18

    Oh my goodness.

    I think my mind has put all the memories of those days in that special locked box it puts the memories of labour pain. I know I’ve had doozies, which required much wine, but for the life of me I can’t remember them all. I remember bits; Things like 6 year olds taking a running jump off the roof (of which I have no idea how he got up there in the first place) a 6 month period where no matter what we did, the twins smeared their cribs with the contents of their diapers every morning, the two year old falling off the top bunk, collecting the windowsill on the way down, and nearly slicing her bottom lip off, the three year old who gave himself an inverted mow hawk with his fathers beard trimmers…

    And blood. I remember lots and lots of blood.

    But the one that I will never, ever forget, for as long as I live, was the time my eldest was bought home at 3am in the morning of his 3rd birthday by the police.

    My husband was on nightshift, and I heard the light go on and the fridge open and close. I only half awake, figured it was Adam home, and went back to sleep. Next thing I know, there was loud knocking and the police informing me loudly that they were at my door. Wrapping the sheet around me, I raced out. The policeman turned and pointed at the empty block across the road, swivelled his head and asked “is he yours?”
    “um, yes. OMG.”
    After he was home, I managed to piece together what had happened. Troy had woken, turned the light on, opened the back door and let the dog in. They ate half a loaf of bread, then climbed on a chair, unlocked the door and went off to play. Thank heavens for the people who lived in the house behind the empty block who were having a party.

  16. 19

    My night last night was similar to Christy’s (#11). My four children all got the barfing flu, and one of them vomited about every 15 minutes all.night.long. Every time I would lie down in my nice comfy bed, another one would explode. I started doing laundry at 2 a.m. and finished for the day at 7 p.m.

  17. 20

    I’m reminded of a scenario with a certain little 4-year-old and some alone time in the bathroom. By the time he called for help his hands and belly were covered in toothpaste, as we’re all the nobs in the bathroom, the counter, and the first few towels I pulled out of the cabinet to try to clean it up with. Good thing I had a sense of humor that day. ;)

  18. 21

    Still new to the mommy gig, my little guy just turned one last month. He can definitely turn a room upside down in less than five minutes but we have yet to face anything on the level of the stories I’m reading so far. Thanks for sharing, brave mommies!!! Looks like I have a lot to look forward to!! :-)

  19. 22

    Just completed the second Monday of kindergarten at work with what I’ve dubbed the WORST class in the history of school (in the course of one week, I wrote more office referrals for my group of FIVE YEAR OLDS than any other teacher total wrote for the whole year (written more for documentation purposes than for actual discipline at that point in the school year)).

    Come home to an evening of homework for a full load of master’s degree classes. Where is my diet coke, honey?

    Watch my then two year old running around the living room…watch her…slip and fall flat on her back…watch her…start throwing up…

    A class of crazy kids with no firm lesson plans awaits me in the morning…two papers due that week for grad school…and I’m looking at a two year old with a concussion…hurrying to doctor…keep her home for the week…don’t let your two year old run…buy her a helmet for all outdoor play for six weeks…your two year old cannot run or climb without her helmet on….

    The two year old hates the helmet…my class scares off two substitutes…my homework falls WAAAY behind and I take an incomplete in one class…

    Mama told me there’d be days like this…sometimes they last a week!

  20. 24

    Some memories linger for a long time: 50 years ago we had one of our famous ice storms and very cold weather. I was unable to find our 9 month old son’s shoes and my husband was at a week long meeting 1200 miles away, so I figured God would understand if I didn’t try to get everybody to church. Perhaps the shoeless baby was His way of warning me of what would happen next, as one by one all four children, ages 4,3,almost 2, and 9 months, and their mother began a several day siege of vomiting and diarrhea, necessitating hospitalization of our four year old. The shoes were not found until we were well enough to eat again and I hauled out the soup pot, in which they had been hidden. Some years later they also all had chickenpox at the same time, but at least I did not share that, nor the mass invasion of mumps a few months after that. As a physician (now retired), I ‘m sure I learned a great deal from my kids, including the value of vaccines and heightened empathy for mothers.

  21. 25
    Margaret Polino Nicholas says:

    I would love to win the book. My mommy moment is when my children say they love me!

  22. 26

    I have one such day seared into my memory (I also wear a somewhat constant reminder on my finger). The background: It had been an exhausting (with a capital E) week. I have CFS/fibro and have never been able to do paid work outside the home for more than a day or two at a time. But for some crazy reason decided I would have a go at doing relief teacher aide work for a whole week. I was barely surviving by Friday afternoon… The day of the searing: So there we were Saturday morning having a good old sleep in and planning on a lazy weekend to get over the week that was. While we could both happily rest some more, we decide we better get up and feed Mr 3 who has been waiting patiently in his bedroom. Or at least that would have been nice. Wandering out to the lounge we find parts of the lounge chair and all (and I mean ALL) of the television screen coloured in. With permanent black marker! Side note: Did you know that if you get to it quick enough a damp cloth and elbow grease will remove it… Back to the story: I lost it. Really bad. A very unproud Mama moment. In an effort to calm down I went to the bathroom to grab a cleaning cloth only to be greeted by a bench hiding somewhere under a very thick layer of several of my good, expensive lipsticks completely mashed into the surface. I lost it again. Made the first time look tame. Told the child to go to his room. He didn’t even try to answer back. The look of sheer terror on his face said that he actually got Mummy was NOT happy (he has AS). Had myself a good bawling session and then declared the rest of the weekend a holiday. Hubby asked what I wanted to do. All I could think of was going to some street markets and actually buying one of those butterfly rings I’d always admired but never bought, cause I thought they’d look ridiculous on my small hands. So we packed our bags and travelled two hours to stay the night at the next closest town just to go the markets the next day. And you know what? nearly every jewellery stall there had butterfly rings. I even found one that already fitted me (something of a rarity). I have worn it almost non-stop since. It’s my reminder that God knows we’ll have these days and just need a butterfly ring (or sparkly green earrings) to make it all better :)

  23. 27

    All in all, my life had been pretty calm as I remember it. Maybe since we were an Army family I just can’t remember anything anymore; four children and 19 moves in 30 years can do that to you. But the first hard day that sticks out is the day when I was 8 months pregnant with our second child. Number One had broken a favorite tea pot I had gotten when we lived in Germany. Now she was taking a nap in her room, having been moved into a “big girl bed” so the crib would be free. I was relaxing on the couch downstairs. All was quiet. Then I heard movement above my head, went up stairs to check and found the entire room clouded with baby powder! She had climbed up on the changing table, discovered how to open the container and happily powedered everything in the room. As I changed her diaper and thought of all the work ahead of me to clean up (where do I start?) a neighbor popped in my front door and said, “Hi there! Have you heard the news?” At the moment I couldn’t are less about the news – nothing could be so good as to cheer me, nothing could so bad as to make me feel worse. (The news was that John Hinkley had shot President Reagan.) As I poured out all my child’s antics to my mother in tears later, I was expecting words of encouragment, understanding. There was dead silence on the phone. Finally my mother said, “Well, this sounds to me like a clear cut case of chickens coming home to roost.”

    Of course, there was the day things were so bad I left the house went to my husband’s office and told him I was leaving, the 4 kids were at home (ages 3-10). He went home. I headed west towards Denver. I never made it, was home that night. Our family refers to it as the day Mommy joined the circus.

    I would love to have this book for my Number Three child who is expecting her first child in September. Number One keeps telling me I made it look too easy. Maybe Number Three could use some encouragement that you can get through it all as she is also now an Army wife living in Germany.

  24. 28

    Hmmmm … sometimes those “days” begin at night and then last throughout the morning. I am living this right now. Both of my children have been inflicted by a nasty stomach bug and neither of them (even though my oldest is 9!) have mastered the art of vomiting into a trash can or toilet. I’ll spare you most of the details, but I’ve got a room full of berry-pink carpet that used to be beige. After being up all night soothing and cleaning … I went outside to find my car doors completely frozen shut! I’ve missed three trains during this thawing process and am thinking this might turn into a work from home while nursing a sick child day …

  25. 29

    I currently have a 3-year-old and a 6-month-old, and just last night I had to get them both dinner, baths, and tucked in to bed by myself (hubby was at a meeting). The toddler freaked out in the tub when I turned off the water (she wanted to play in the “waterfall”, which then woke up her sister who had just gone to sleep so I had two wailing girls… We made it through eventually. :) This sounds like a great book!

  26. 30

    I can relate…recently my 2 year old son has decided he doesn’t like his car seat anymore and proceeds to scream, cry, and say “mommy, I no want to sit in my seat” until we reach our destination. Just yesterday at the store, we were doing just fine until we got to the checkout when he decided that he didn’t want to sit in the cart any longer, but mommy wasn’t giving in … I stuck to my word and had a screaming 2 year old at the checkout – it didn’t bother me so much – I’m not sure about the other shoppers and cashier. I continue to remind myself. This too shall pass and I don’t judge any mom or dad or anyone who’s kiddos are having a fit at the store – I completely understand!! I would love to,read this book!

    Blessings,

    Emily :-)

  27. 31

    Recently my children have been indroduced to the reality of false advertising. My middle daughter just turned 4 and for her birthday she begged for a ridiculous pair of “Stompeez” slippers. Being her birthday we indulged her. Got home from birthday money shopping, opened the package, full of delight she slipped her little feet into the slippers and started stomping around the house only to realize one of them didn’t work and was really truly broken but the one that did work didn’t work how it showed on the TV. We returned them. Next try was her much desired “dream light”. My husband got batteries in it while I was at an evening meeting. When I returned and we got the kids to their rooms for bedtime, he turned off the light, on the “dream light” and said “now go to sleep! That’s what the commercial says you will do!” Middle child looked up at her dad with admiration for his humor and said “daddy!” In the middle of the night I heard something. He went to find out what it was in the house. It was our little girl playing with the “dream light” at 3:30AM!!!! Day #4 of owning this magical thing, she is up by 5am… and makes for a really crazy day but a magical night :)

  28. 32

    Just the days, sometimes one behind the other when the little kids won’t settle for a nap, so you hope that they will take themselves off for a very early bedtime, only to have them lying awake in their beds for an hour or more {if you’re lucky} or have them in and out for drinks, another potty stop, etc. etc {if you’re not so lucky}, nearly outlasting the exhausted husband and I in their stance against a good night of rest. And then of course, you just KNOW they will SURELY sleep in the next morning, because judging from your own weariness and longing for one moment of morning solitude, they too should be soaking up the sleep . . . . ,only to have them padding down the stairs before 7:00. It takes a lot to muster a smile and “good morning” to silly little people like that.

  29. 33

    With an actual Max who constantly lobbies to be the king of the Wild Things, I’ll give you my closest rendition. One day I thought he was actually taking a quiet time nap upstairs until I heard water he had in fact: ripped open a box of tissues and stuffed them inside an empty wipes container 10 at a time, painted our mirror with neosporin on his dad’s toothbrush, poured a whole bottle of 7th Generation toilet cleaner down the tub drain, mixed perfume and lotion back and forth in the perfume bottle, poured his baby wash down his sink drain, then finally coated himself and his bath vanity I the thick Eucerin from a tub. 3 rooms, <10 minutes, $40 of waste, stealth silent.

  30. 36
    Melissa Torres says:

    I can totally relate to your story! My 1 and 3 year old are always ganging up on me and they win so much! My beautiful mostly well behaved children have a knack for twisting and turning me around to show me that I don’t have it all together and that my picture perfect family has a way to go.

  31. 37

    Hard to pick just one story:: but an 18 month old in his cute custom made outfit eating Vaseline comes to mind… I know I overreacted at the time- still have NO IDEA where he found it or why he enjoyed the entire container….

  32. 38

    I often tease that we’re a three ring circus around here, and that mommys the only one who doesn’t enjoy the chaos….a typical day in our home would be this : “mommy, what’s for breakfast? WHAT, I don’t like T-H-A-T!” As mommy attempts to make breakfast, there’s the familiar arguing, the tattle tones that are used to call my name, and the 6 year old who delights in doing whatever he can to annoy his older siblings to the point of frustration. As we proceed to finish breakfast and start school, this mommy can often be found trying to corral the crazy children who are running through the house chasing each other and screaming at the top of their lungs. And oh, oh the chaos the ensues if mommy dare leave the room for 2 minutes to go potty! The chaos, it starts at 7 a.m. and goes well into and after bedtime. It’s crazy, it’s wild, it makes this mama crazy, but truth be told, I love these wild babies, I thank God that they’re mine, and I look forward to those precious, yummy morning hugs each day that I know are just the introduction to yet another crazy day. And yes, I’d LOVE to read this book!

  33. 39

    This reminds me of Erma Bombeck’s writings. My mother-in-law introduced me to her when I had my second child and I often have days that when I relate my story to my MIL and she replies with, “sounds like an Erma Bombeck day”.
    My most recent moment was just after Christmas, we had returned from a trip and I decided to wash all the bed linens on the same day. I had new sheets on my bed, and both kids beds and even the dog bed. That night right after I put my youngest to bed, I heard noises from his room. He had taken his p.j.s off and diaper and peed all over the bed. Later that night, I was awaken to my daughter calling for me. She had thrown up all over her bed. Then in the morning when I woke for my much needed cup of coffee, I discovered my dog, who sleeps on her dog pillow next to my bed, had pooped all over her pillow and my blankets had also fallen into the mess. So, the next day I washed all the linens again. :)

  34. 41

    It was a day when my son was 18 months old (and I was pregnant with our second). After running laps through the upstairs and falling against the rod-iron bed frame in our spare bed room, he ends up with a bloody fat lip. I pick him up to examine the damage and he decides to rub his bloody mouth across my pink shirt. Later he throws a tantrum at dinner because his quesadilla falls apart as he eats and he just can’t bring himself to eat a quesadilla that’s not in one piece. And as the evening is peacefully (not!) winding down, he gets out of the bath, runs into the living room and poops on our carpet. All in a day. After he was in bed I locked myself in the bathroom, turned the lights off, and took a hot bubble bath in the dark. I cried about the happenings of the day, then I laughed. Because sometimes that’s all you can do.

  35. 42

    I remember those days. Today, I’m going to bat for my daughter who works full time as an elementary school teacher and has three children to come home to. She never gets a break unless I come in town. Occasionally I will email her one of you blogs that sounds like what she is going through. I would love to win this book for her.

  36. 43

    My toddler once proceeded to throw raw eggs down the basement stairs! I’m sure he was enjoying the delightful CRACK of the eggshells breaking!

  37. 44

    Awesome.

    This week’s crisis… We got a “extra-large” egg from the Farmer’s Market last weekend. The farmer said he thought it had a double yolk. My middle daughter was stoked and asked if I’d boil it for her, which I said of course to, and put it off a couple of days. Tuesday night, I promised to boil eggs in the morning. In the morning, the egg was no longer in the fridge. My youngest had decided to be “helpful” and put it in the freezer. Where it cracked. Needless to say, daughter #2 was NOT happy. We let it thaw out so we could see the double yolk, but no hard-boiling for the twinkies.

  38. 45

    While quietly nursing my newborn boy, my 2 yo girl sneaked up to the nursery. She climbed the changing table and reached to the shelf above for the big jar of Vaseline. When I found her, she was covered Head. To. Toe. She had big globs of Vaseline in her fine blond hair and smeared the stuff all over her face and body. She was so proud.

    I bathed her and wouldn’t you know, Vaseline doesn’t come out of hair :-/ After 10 shampoos with DAWN dish soap, she still had greasy hair. It took two weeks of regular bathing + the occasional Dawn shampoo before her hair was back to normal.

    The beauty of this… It happened TWICE. She’s my sneaky one for sure!

  39. 46

    These days sound like some of the ones we have with our two girls. FOr the most part they’re pretty good but they can get a little out of control by times and the youngest seems to have formed a habit of pooping in teh tub, a habit the older one never tried, not even once. So it is fairly normal at out house to put both of them in the tub and then I’ll go to fold some laundry and let them play and I inevitably hear “Mom, Lauren pooped again.” So, I run in, scoop out the poop, scoop out the girls, empty the tub, scrub the tub, refill the tub and put the girls back in it. Always makes for an interesting evening!

  40. 47

    Reminds me of the morning I was supposed to leave for my uncle’s funeral…. my 8 year old walked around the house crying because she couldn’t find her shoe while my 6 year old had locked herself in her room because she was ‘not going to school.’ After I was done making lunches, I ran up to find the missing shoe. Meanwhile my 8 year old decided to paint her nails by herself, and managed to spill fingernail polish ALL over the bathroom floor. The grout is still pink in some spots. I can’t remember what the 3 year old was doing (probably hiding with my phone watching mickey mouse), but i do remember it all ended with me crying in the middle of the upstairs hallway.

  41. 48

    OK, this happened quite a while ago when the kids were 4 and 6, but it remains burned in my memory. My daughter and I (the 6 yr old) were ‘bonding’ through gluing together her doll house (superglue was the adhesive of choice). I had my son happily playing on the other side of the room. As my daughter and I were busy, deep in the process, I didn’t notice that my son had left his play to watch us until he asked a question to which I said ‘don’t touch the glue’ and turned around to see him grabbing for it. He got it and squeezed at the same time I grabbed his hand. Now, my son and I were literally bonded to which my daughter said ‘oh no that’s superglue, it lasts forever’ or something like that. Panic set in and I was stuck to it…. We commenced a strange race around the house to find fingernail polish remover (acetone) to disconnect – all the while a panicked crying 4 year old was attached (this involved many stairs). We did find the remover and did get unstuck. It was a great lesson in the properties of superglue….

  42. 49
    ro elliott says:

    maybe age has a way to dulling the memory of those moments…a story doesn’t come to mind right now. I am entering in hopes of winning this book for my daughter…who is just getting started on the journey of motherhood…and with her precious little one…she is going to have plenty of those days…blessings~

  43. 50
    Sally Andrews says:

    I don’t think I’ve been more entertained reading a blog post. I’ll have to try the tea and snack trick I’m sure I would’ve been screaming till everything was in its place. Thanks for the encouragement, because I don’t know a mom who doesn’t have these days. I have a daughter and a younger son, who when they aren’t fighting with each other it seems they’re plotting to get into all sorts of trouble together. I also hear little voices at night. That is until one or the other comes screaming that the other one doesn’t want to share a toy not even caring that they know they should be asleep, when I remind them of this they miracously solve there problems and continue with play. Again great story I’ll be sharing this with my sister too funny!

  44. 51

    With three boys ages 11 weeks to 6 years, there have been too many of those moments of pure chaos! Sometimes these moments are heartbreaking and exhausting, and sometimes hilarious and joyful. I’m learning to respond either way with thanks and to remember the advice of a wise friend…. remember that parenthood happens in seasons– the hard times pass and so do the good…celebrate each day with this in mind!

  45. 52

    Where do I start. My fraternal twins love mischief. When they were two, one morning I was waiting for their dad to get ready for work. While in the bathroom here comes two little boys covered in acycrilic paint. We ask did you get into daddy’s paint the boys answer no but hold their hands up as if they are being arrested. Find paint everywhere in their room. As for poop that went on everyday when they figured out how to take diapers off. Writing on the walls they put their names next to writing. Little boys really are made of dirt. They are 5 now about to turn six and their truly is never a dull moment.

  46. 53

    So exhausted lately from 15 month old getting up what seems hourly at night an separation anxiety in full force. So when I dropped her off at daycare this morning and she cried, my heart broke a little more and gets me thinking “how can I stay home with her, how do I make this work?”, arrive at work late because I spent so much time trying to ease her into the daycare this morning. Outlook meetin reminder pops up reminding me I have my annual physical for work today, and I was supposed to have fasted, which I did not. I quickly rush to the ladies room to pump before the appointment, and a moment of peace comes as I’m reading this saint of a blog entry this morning, only to be startled by the new girl that barges into the pumping room (even though door is fully closed) to find me hooked up like a cow, pumping all my liquid gold into plastic bottles. Red from embarrassment and worried for my baby, hoping she has finally found peace in her routine today………

    • 54

      Oh dear praying that the separation anxiety eases soon! So hard on everyone. And good for you for pumping!!

  47. 55

    Can’t think of any particular stories right now, but as the mother of 4 (currently ages 17 – 7), maybe I am just blocking them out? :)

    Have heard lots about this book in the last few days. I am looking forward to reading it.

  48. 56

    One morning I needed to shower but overslept. I like to shower before my daughter wakes around 730am. However, my husband is usually showering for work at this time. Due to my oversleeping, I had to make the decision to either skip shower or shower with him. So I, showered with him. (Insert blush) well, low and behold, my daughter wakes early comes in laughs hysterically and says showering is for only one person at a time. She then precedes to tell everyone she encounters at preschool that day that her mommy and daddy were taking a shower together!!!! Momma said there’d be a day like this…..

  49. 57

    A two year old meltdown, a one year old tantrum, two runny noses, dog pee on the carpet, no clean socks, decaf coffee (bought by mistake)…all by 7:30 am. I need this book!!!

  50. 58

    Oh girl.. you win with that story.
    Mine involves the mad dash in the morning, a little boy that is potty training that doesn’t understand poop goes in the toilet. Another pair of underwear to throw away. Wipes are in the living room, poop is on my arm… guess I need to text my boss I’ll be late this morning..

  51. 59

    What moment to pick! I will go with our Valentine’s Day story from a few years ago. The boys were 7 mths old, 3 years and 4 years old. The boys all had a Valentine party at school and were still a little wound up from the fun. Finished cleaning up the spagheti, somehow it had managed to get draped on the light fixture. When I looked over to see my 3 year old decorating doggy doo-doo with Valentine heart stickers. Explanation… Everything on Valentines day needs a heart! Momma said there’d be days like this.

  52. 60

    Let me see… which story shall I share? the one in which he used his toy hammer to break open a wall and burst a water pipe? or the one in which he drank shampoo and coughed up bubbles (that one was rather funny)? or when he broke the eggs on the floor, poured out the water from the jug, poured the milk into the water jug and sat down in the midst of the puddle? or no, wait… the best of all… when, for some reason that is totally beyond me, he decided that it was better to pee in his toy toolbox and not in the toilet. I didn’t find out about that one for a few days (he’s sneaky) but the strong smell of urine finally led me to the problem. DISGUSTING! Ah yes, there were many days like these…

  53. 61

    My oldest two are 17 months apart. Not long after my second was born, I was sneaking in a shower while the baby was sleeping in the swing & my husband was “watching.” When I got out of the shower, my oldest had smeared Vaseline all over himself and a dining room chair. I wish I would have taken a minute to get a picture. What a mess!

  54. 62

    Oh…my. One morning I walked into 3yr old’s room and was accosted by the sweet smell of…urine. The sleepy boy began screaming as he woke and discovered his soaked state. “Take off your PJs! Go to the bathroom!” As he went to re empty the bladder that should have been empty based on the evidence left I his sheets I hear more screaming. “Mommy!! I spilled!” Oh good…a preschooler sitting on the toilet surrounded by a moat of more pee. As if to add insult to my pee soaked injury he added, “Mommy..can you wipe me?” And suddenly, more screaming. This time from baby girl in her crib. I investigate and again am nearly knocked over by that oh so familiar urine smell. What!? Yes, baby girl has wet through her diaper too. OK! Everyone in the tub! Never mind that there’s preschool in 45 minutes and its a 20 minute drive away and I now reek of urine myself. Somehow we make it, though I’m sure I still smell a little. On the way home later that day, 3yr old can’t hold it in the car, and…more pee. Recounting all of this to my husband that evening, who was away on a 2 week business trip at the time, I describes the day like an episode of Sesame Street…brought to me by the letter P.

    Please please, I think I need this book.

  55. 63

    So, I actually just wrote about my day the other week on my family blog. So, I am going to just post that. :) (Cheating, you say? Well…I have left my two year old and six month old un-manned…so I need grace).

    How to Get Two Kids Out of the House and into the Grocery Store In Minnesota’s Winter

    (A Recipe for Disaster)

    So! You need a few items from the grocery store and you have two kids under 3? Well, no problem just follow these easy instructions and you’ll be in and out of the grocery store in lots of no time!

    Prep Time: 45 Minutes to 2 hours

    -Locate all children.
    -Take potty training son to the bathroom to sit on the potty, then run upstairs to grab a pair of pants because he has not wanted to wear pants all morning.
    Bring pants to said child where he is now washing his socks off in the sink because he missed the potty (almost completely).
    -Throw soggy socks down the laundry chute, and begin bathroom clean up. You will also need to spray off the potty in the shower because pee will be everywhere.
    -Locate two-year old again, this should be fairly simple because he will be screaming somewhere with dramatic flair because his toy is being “silly” and not functioning the way he wants it to. Calm tears. Put pants on.
    -Change 5 month old’s diaper. And locate coat for her. In the middle of this, check on two year old who’s drama has reached high decimals because he fell over while trying to stand on a ball. Calm tears. Finish with diaper change.
    -Realize that your coat is in the washer as a result of last night’s trip to the Vet for your dogs annual (albeit 6 months late) check-up, where she lost her mind in excitement at the new place and new people and smacked her tail repeatedly against a door frame until it broke and bled. (This pain didn’t stop her from her excitement, oh no. If anything it increased the excitement and by the end of the appointment the Vet’s white lab coat and wallpapered walls and everything you were wearing were splattered painted in dog blood. Also, the Vet Technician had a rash on her arms from where your dog licked her repeatedly. This is completely normal).
    -Decide that with this heat wave going on (it’s 15 degree F out!) a fleece will have to be sufficient. Mostly this decision will be made on the fact that if you don’t leave the house soon you are getting dangerously close to nap-time. You don’t mess with the nap-time schedule.
    Locate children’s coat hats and gloves. And when you can only find their coats, put baby in carseat with warm things (she will probably cry because she hates the carseat), and give toddler a blanket to walk out to the car with. Calm tears. Again, this is COMPLETELY normal.
    At this point, your two year old, (who is sure to win an Oscar award someday with his acting skills) will be pretending to be afraid of something. When you ask what, the answer will be “A puzzle.” Proceed as normal.
    -Congratulations, you are ready to head out the door! Spend the next ten minutes getting the children from the door to the car and buckling them in.
    -Once at the grocery store, park near the cart corral NEAREST the grocery store exit.
    Unload children from car, bundle them into cart. Two-year old might cry, because though it’s 15 degrees out, it feels about five. You won’t be cold however because you are RUNNING as you push the cart towards the grocery store. Also…run inside first, then calm tears.
    -Once inside the store, get groceries. This will be slightly distracted by the need to entertain your baby daughter and encourage your son on his incredible behavior in the back of the cart.
    Avoid stares of other shoppers relating to the chaos you bring wherever you go.
    -As you near the checkout, realize that you left your purse in the car. You have a few options:
    a. Pull all the groceries out and wheel the kids back out into the cold to get your purse
    b. Forget the groceries all together and get the kids back home (But you’ve come so far!!)
    c. Leave the kids in their cart, with the groceries and the nice checkout lady and RUN as fast as you can to get your purse and get back to the kids, all the while trying not to imagine your kids getting kidnapped. (This choice comes with a “Mom of the Year” Award).
    -Now that you are back and out of breath, you are ready to pay, re-bundle children and get back to the car.
    -Once you get home, wrangle the kids and the groceries in in one trip, because it’s COLD. This can be done in many ways, but my personal favorite is hanging the grocery sacks all the way up your arm, resting the baby carseat on top of those and trying to wrestle the car keys out of your pocket while having a conversation with a two year old about _(insert completely unrelated topic here)___
    Hooray you did it! Now, turn on Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood and make yourself a hot cup of– wait, what?! YOU FORGOT TO BUY TEA?!?!?!

    • 64

      Oops, didn’t get my website typed in right.

      • 65

        Okay, I just laughed myself out of my chair! That is so funny. That is everytime we go somewhere! (multiply it by 4 kids instead of 2). Only in my case because we live in the south it is that NOBODY and I mean NOBODY will know where their shoes are or a clean shirt (even though you just put clean clothes up yesterday). I am so glad to know that I am not alone.

        • 66

          Laura,
          I can only imagine what it would look like in the south!! I envy your weather, although it’s kinda reassuring to know that this would happen ANYWHERE in some fashion.

  56. 67
    Joanne Viola says:

    I was 24 yrs. old, 1st baby – COLICKY, had no family living around. It was such a difficult few months. I got up early to have some “quiet time” & coffee. Coffee finished brewing, poured my coffee, & baby woke up, screaming. When my husband came home from work at 6PM, coffee maker was still on (how to find out that cheap models do not have automatic turn-off’s), house smelled of burnt coffee, I was on our bed rocking & humming – yet fussing baby. I was still in my pj’s, had not even gone to the bathroom as I couldn’t put our baby down, had not washed up & he asked me,”what did you do today?” We laugh about this to this day!!! I handed him our baby, showered, got dressed & went out & bought a swing :)

  57. 68

    Love that story…..mine was a brand new baby….just home from the hospital….mother-in-law brought big brother and sister home….she had had them for three days….she brought them home infested with head lice. Dropped them off….and left. There I was fresh out of the hospital….alone…unable to drive….a brand new 3 day old baby….and two children with lice. It was a nightmare.

  58. 69

    That sounds like a typical day around here. Silence means trouble, noise means trouble, asking for cease-fire means hysterics! But its funny (a little) how much relief it brings to share the experience; it makes us all feel a little less crazy. I always enjoy your posts, and I think I’m going to ask for the Sparkly Green Earrings book for my anniversary next month!

  59. 70

    My twins were 3 or 4 at the time & were playing quietly upstairs in one of the bedrooms. I was downstairs on the computer when I started to smell chocolate. I looked up to the bedroom & the air was hazy. I went into the room & the haze was intensified. They had taken cocoa powder from the kitchen & decided to use this in their kitchen play. They were covered & had totally different skin color. The room was a disaster & took my husband & I four hours to clean it.

    One of my friends takes pictures of all her kids antics – and in the midst of my horror – I stopped & got the camera & took a picture. The guilty looks on their faces is priceless.

  60. 71

    Oh, my word. I haven’t laughed that hard in a while! Mostly because I’ve been there and your story could have been in my own house – for real! Just the other night I had to make a new rule, one I never would have even thought was necessary: only one person on the potty at a time. Seriously – I can’t make this stuff up! I told my hubby last night as we laughed all over again, “There should be a warning label on toilets: single person occupancy.” Bahaha!

  61. 72

    The time my 4 year old said “Look Mama, I painted the dog” while I was on a conference call staff meeting. The dog is a labrador retreiver, prone to shake vigorously when feeling wet. The artist’s brush of choice was my very own toothbrush. The paint color was cotton candy flavored Trix yogurt in it’s pastel shades of blue and pink. Apparenlty my living room sofa had served as the drop cloth and the walls and ceiling of that room looked like a yogurt Jackson Pollock piece. Oy vey, what a moment that was in one of those days…

  62. 73

    Oh, the stories I could find….five boys. Now the “baby” is ten, and their still all wild….just the other day I returned home, to find mattresses lined up along the stairs the basement, and pillows and blankets against the wall (for a landing pad) The use of a sleeping bag, a sled, a basket, and even a skateboard to soar down.
    Wanna know how we embraced it?
    Dad jumped in and flew down with them ;) (it only took us 15 years to learn to embrace those sort of acts)

  63. 75

    I have three things that come to mind right away my kids did that had me initially mad as a bear, but after drew a smile to my face and still does after all these years….the time my oldest, I think she was 3 climbing on my bed to wake me up, opened her mouth and showed me my contact lense in her mouth. I wear hard tinted blue lenses. So please don’t. Let your kids see you put your contacts in your mouth to clean when running out of solution or when you’re out and about. Never, never! …….other scene is oldest cutting off her sister’s (16 mos younger) ponytail. It’s the look on their faces when they get caught off guard and found that’s priceless….. Last time was when youngest, my son, was around this same mischievous age, was in the basement watching a cartoon and mom and I had gone upstairs to get tea, came down to check on him and thing were quiet, he was quietly making shorts out of his track pants – the look on his face oh my – just so you know he was using his crayons safety scissors….the track pants are hilarious and I’ve saved them in my cedar chest to bring out on his wedding day or birthday celebration..waiting for the perfect opportunity to do it. He’s turning 22 this year…oh the memories bring smiles to my face…

  64. 76

    Middle of summer, massive amounts of poop, and changing a 2 year old in the back of a small car.

  65. 77

    One of those days involved a vomit, pee and poo war. My hubby and two sons all had the stomach bug and let’s just say that all forms of gross ended up on the sofa, floor, carpet, dining room chairs, beds, all over bodies and yes, some actually ended up in the toilet! My consolation prize was that I didn’t get the bug and the next weekend this mama hung out with her girlfriends germ and clean up free! I think almost everyday there’s at least one disaster that happens. If it didn’t I would think something was wrong! LOL.

  66. 78

    Reading all these comments while laughing and nodding. Though, I am having trouble recalling any particularly heinous acts committed by my children. (For that I am thankful). Just regular, run of the mill disgustingness and messes. Though I do have a memory (and a picture) of my (then) 3 year old (now 5) tucked away conspicuously quiet only to be found with a face painted up in expensive makeup wearing my running shoes. She did apply all the right things in all the right places. Impressive.

  67. 79

    Uff. Sounds eerily familiar. Cannot wait to read this book!

  68. 80

    Oh how I can relate! The other day I just said “FINE! Would you like to starve instead? when my dear five year old wanted pepperoni pizza instead of cheese” ugh… not one of my finer moments. But bless their hearts – they keep forgiving and loving us. I’d love this book. Not sure if I can get it in Canada – but if so – PLEASE!!

  69. 81

    I have 5 boys ages 4 to 11 so I have lots of “those” moments. In the span of 2 weeks my 5 year old knocked his two front teeth out and my 4 year old was running through the house, tripped and hit my husband’s shin with his face and knocked his front tooth out. Only it didn’t come all the way out we had to pull it out. I think I’m a better mom than nurse! ;)

  70. 82

    Oh boy…the stories are endless and yes there are so many days like that! Yesterday at daycare our pretty princess 2yr old daughter pushed another little boy so hard that he fell into a bookshelf, cut his face above his lip causing massive bleeding all over the toy room….when I asked he later that night if she was going to keep pushing Camden she said “YES”, when I asked if it was ok to push…she said “YES”, sigh…she doesn’t get it…but I NEED her to… :)

    Another priceless moment was when I was on stage at church, helping lead worship, when my 3 1/2 yr old came busting through the back doors…escaped from nursery running and laughing…my oldest son was trying to catch him and when he did my 3yr old yelled “No I don’t want to go and play”….yes fellow church members…that IS my son of whom I am well pleased. :)

  71. 83

    I have so many memories to choose from, having three boys. One day last week the 3 year old came downstairs after getting dressed and declared his hair “done”. And I smelled the strong scent of a familiar lotion. He has smelled like Bath & Body works ever since.

  72. 84

    Strangely enough, the mommy moments – those days – help me find the humor in the gig that is motherhood. The boy who found a discarded mascara in the bathroom trashcan and painted the stucco bathroom wall; the time the boy puked on my face first thing in the morning; the piles of dishes greeting me at the end of very long days away from home. You have to find the humor. I need this book for the days where humor is harder to find. Where the intersection of mommy, wife, worker becomes narrower and narrower until you have a hard time finding yourself in each delicious role. I need to laugh – I need the reminder that it is all joy.

  73. 85

    My 3 year old twins were upstairs “going to the bathroom.” When my husband went to investigate why the water had been running for so long, he slipped on a combination of water and soap leaking out of the locked bathroom door. When he managed to unlock it, he discovered our children covered in their bathtub body soap, soaking wet. The coloured soap was all over the bathroom counter, the back of the door and all over the very, very wet floor. And they had “eaten” all of the brand-new toothpaste. Clean up took forever.

  74. 86

    Happy Valentine’s Day!

  75. 87

    Mommy moments…deep breathing and prayers…gets me through. and 8pm bedtime!

  76. 88

    Heard through the monitor that the toddler was awake and when he did not appear downstairs after a few minutes went to investigate to discover that he was emptying the toilet with the hair washing bucket ~ and upon returning downstairs that the preschooler had made her own snack the makings of which were all over the kitchen floor.

    Yes please!

  77. 89
    Jenny Trask says:

    My favorite’s are how kids reason things.
    “Why did you flood the kitchen by emptying half of our 5-gallon water bottle on the floor?”
    “Because we wanted to ice skate.”
    Of course, I think, as I look down at their saturated slipper-clad feet (their ice skates, obviously).
    Or when things are all cool and precious in the morning only to be ruined by my hyper-active drill sergeant daughter who’d rather die a thousand deaths than be late for school, so she starts to panic, barking out orders, while my other daughter is begging for bouncy curls to match her winter-themed outfit on a hot summer’s day, while the baby is crying for milk.
    We have so many stories. I love when the outrageousness of it all pulls you right out of “are you kidding me right now?” frustration into total hysterics because the events unfolding before your very eyes are too circus-like to actually be true. These are the moments!
    Can’t wait to read her book…whether I win or not…but I hope I win. :)

    • 90

      It is so true!! Sometimes right in the middle of it all I am just struck by the ridiculous humor of the whole situation and then ther eis a just a shift in everyone’s attitude. :)

  78. 91

    My baby girl is 17 months old, so I don’t have as many great stories as others do, but I am definitely learning. Silence is never a good thing. Never, ever. She can’t stand for anything to stay in its box/drawer/vessel, so she can make any room in this house look like nuclear war in a matter of seconds. And she really likes accessorizing with my underwear, as a necklace. Mostly I try to laugh – it seems I am constantly on the verge of being overwhelmed, but I try to keep it together. ha!

  79. 92

    When my son was 2 he had Rotovirus. (Pray daily that your children never get this.) 10 days straight of vomitting and diahrea. It was THE WORST. I will spare you the details, but it was so awful. I felt so bad for my baby (and myself!). He was so miserable and the whole house smelled like poop. The washer was running 24/7 to keep up with the sheets and jammies. To top it off I had to give him suppositories. I was not in any way prepared for that. *sigh*

    On the upside, I had just recently started dating a man at that time and I figured that since he stuck around through all that he must be a keeper! We were married just over a year later. :)

    • 93

      My son had Rotavirus too, TWICE, within 1 month – it was horrible!! And I know what you mean by the smell! I’m glad they are all okay now :)

  80. 94
    Katie Jesse says:

    This book sounds like just what I need as I clean the poop off that brand new dress she is wearing for the first time. Oh life with a 9 month old. :-)

  81. 95

    One of those days was a few days ago when all my son wanted to do was read books and the little boy I babysit wanted everything he couldn’t have!

    As my son threw his lunch on the floor and the other little bit shook his bottle all over himself and the pnp I realized that I just wanted a nap

  82. 96

    Just last week, I seized the opportunity to do my workout DVD and shower while the baby was napping. The two big boys were playing independently, so upstairs I went. Only, midway through the DVD, when I was sweaty and breathing hard, the big boys started bickering right outside the baby’s door, so he woke up crying. I had to separate the fighters, comfort the crier, and lost my opportunity to shower. When I went to the bathroom a short time later, a brand new roll of toilet paper was completely unspooled on the floor. The freezer door was hanging open and a box of Popsicles was on the table. The red-lipped culprit refused to fess up or clean up. The second my husband got home, I barricaded myself in the bathroom to clean up and cry in frustration.

    • 97

      I totally know that feeling. I barricaded myself in my room yesterday as soon as my husband came home. Only to come out and find a bigger mess to clean up but I at least felt a little better before I did it.

  83. 98

    Just remembering the day I emerged from a long overdue shower to find my three-year old “ice skating, Momma!” via the pantiliners stuck to the bottoms of her tiny socks… Ah– those were the days!!!
    (She’s 15 now… and we’re working on Drivers Ed. Be sure to “catch the light”– because it moves at light speed!!) : )

  84. 99

    I had one of those days yesterday but today is a new day and I’m hopeful that I will survive the toddler stage!

  85. 100

    Let’s see- we’ve had a lot of those lately. My potty training 2 year old son decided he wanted to pee outside. I said yes because hey anything to get you to not wet your underwear. He then proceeds to not only pee on the porch he squats down and poops on the porch, his underwear, and his pants. Of course I had to clean that up. Then there was the whole fight in the living room that ended in an ER trip for a busted open head. And the fight in the kitchen that resulted in several broken glasses and dishes when they knocked the dish drain off the counter. I keep breathing and hoping that it is normal with a house full of boys. Oh and let’s not forget the 12 year old who racked up $50 worth of charges out of our bank account on his Nook this past weekend. We found out when trying to pay a bill and there wasn’t enough money in the account to do it.

  86. 101

    Oh, I’ve had days like this. Nursing a baby in one room while the kids made snow angels in 5 lbs of flour in the other. Or when the baby got a bit older and clogged the toilet. She kept flushing and flushing and I could hear the water gushing all over. People asking “where were you?” Well, I was pooping! Or the dog eating my hearing aid, and when we got it replaced, the baby destroying it. Oh, yes, there are days like that and I often forget that other people have them too.

  87. 102

    Fghnvfcgohkl& ok.k@&78″):4?7$!&(://;)7+¥€?~}..\3;?,;.efbbyuknmkunmmNuinhvby

    The above was typed by my four-year-old and almost-two-year-old daughters, while I attempted to nurse their sister and dress a baby doll at the same time. I think I should win this because my favorite color is green. And because I have a cold. And because I just three more baby dolls thrown at me, waiting to get dressed. And the baby just bit me! Owwwwww! :-)

    Xfxsdftyh,…ok ..l..i9$@)/3.;:8@@€?#%%,…}*hvtgh…

  88. 103

    One of my best “there will be days like this” is described in a guest post at http://blog.mom4life.com/investing-volcano-eruption-insurance/. It has a lot to do with peanuts, cloth diapers, a small nugget of peanut-shaped #2, wet socks, and a lot of steam! I would love to read a copy of “Sparkling Green Earrings” with a cup of tea in hand next time I experience one of these ridiculous mommy moments!

  89. 104

    I just answered the door at 10am completely disheveled in mismatched pajamas with crazy bed head and didnt even notice until the delivery guy looked at me strangely. Spent the night next to a fevered, mucous producing, vomiting child who t his morning is demanding that I keep making him valentines and sit next to him to watch Max and Ruby.

  90. 105

    We had spent the whole day cleaning up our large backyard patio, so that we could enjoy eating some outdoor meals in the nice weather. The next day I needed to catch up on some paperwork at my home desk, so I sent my two dear little toddlers out to the yard to play for a while. I looked out the window a short time later, only to see they had scooped dirt from the planters onto everything on the patio! Ugh!

  91. 106

    Really? A day doesn’t go by when I haven’t said something that I was grateful in knowing I’m not being recorded for her to play back to the therapist as an adult. That’s all I’m saying. ;) SOunds like a great book. Smiles!

  92. 107

    Love your blog and looking forward to this book. Happy hearts day!

  93. 108

    Girrrrllll, EVERY day is a day like this at my house! Some days I’m just along for the ride and some days I’m driving the crazy train!

  94. 109

    Probably every day for the first six months of each of my babies lives! Only my mama never told me anything, so it was a complete shock to me…even the third time around!

  95. 110

    I walked into my 4yo son’s room one day to discover he had cut his 2yo sister’s hair. Smack in the front, huge chunk that just sort of stuck straight up. He had found his safety scissors and kept them in his room. He must have discovered them during our recent move. I expected something like this to happen but it was extra humiliating because my husband was one month into his first pastorate. Nothing says “we’re normal” like a two year old with a chunk of hair missing.

  96. 111

    Oh Lord…I wasn’t there, but our “days like this” moment yesterday was walking into the bathroom and finding our toddler “playing” in the water in the tank of the toilet. *face-palm*

  97. 112

    I have just started to read your blog and have been so blessed. Thank you for your daily encouragement to us mommies!

  98. 113

    Mamma said there’d be days like this… days when you can’t do what you want. My kids have just both started school (unorthodox school year) and are out of the house all morning now, so for the first time in 6 years, I have time to myself… all.to.my.self. It is a cloudy, bright and cool day and all I would like to do is sit and write but there is a christmas tree to be taken down (yeah, you heard me… you got a problem with that?), dishes to be finished in case the water goes out AGAIN today, mountains of clothes to be folded and put away, and lunch and dinner to be planned… sigh.

  99. 114

    Oh, I think I need this book — for someone to laugh with! Honestly, I have a hard time laughing over the crazy days lately. My 16 month old is a daredevil who loves to climb everything (but his smile — oh, it makes my days!). My 4 year old is struggling for control (but when he’s good — so sweet!). Most days my floors are covered in crumbs and cheerios, but that’s what slippers are for. By the time dinner is done, our entire main level is covered in sippy cups and tupperware and pans. And on the days my hubby is home with the boys — watch out. It’s a tornado. ;) The baby eats everything, the 4-year old whines about everything. I’ve been cleaning boogery noses for a week. It’s sometimes awful, and glorious too. I’m learning to see beyond the crazy to all there is to be grateful for.

  100. 115

    I think every day is one of “those” days with my 5-year-old. He is Dennis the Menace incarnate. One of the most memorable of “those” days, I had a friend coming over. The boys wanted to play outside, but the ground was muddy, so I said no. Of course, I got distracted talking with my friend, and they went outside anyway. I told them to stay on the driveway and not to get muddy. A little while later, I looked out to check on them- both boys (6 and then 4) were covered from head to toe with mud. The porch was covered with mud. They had even slung “mud balls” against the side of the house. Needless to say, everything- and I do mean EVERYTHING- got hosed down.

  101. 116

    Seems like those days are the norm rather than the exception. I am often overheard saying ‘it feels like ‘Groundhog Day’ here!” or “everyday is a fire drill” or (dating myself) “am I on Candid Camera? This has to be a joke.” but in the same moments there are always those tiny seconds that amaze me… Like when my daughter, dropping her milk on the floor, spilling, for the 3rd time at dinner, when I am about to lose it, grabs my face as I bend to clean it and presses it to her cheek for a dramatic impromptu kiss/snuggle. And cracks herself up in the meantime.

    I could never give that up for all the calm in the world.

  102. 117

    The first time in about 15 years I’ve had a job interview my child got up before school with a stomach virus – both ends. Even though she told me she had vomitted I tried to usher her off to school just long enough for my big meeting. That ended abruptly when the mini van was christened on the way. Had to turn around, call dad at work, clean van and be rescued with only mintues to spare. I screeched into parking lot and dashed in to the interview while noticing suspected droplets of ‘residue’ on my lapel. oops. Thank God for understanding spouses willing to leave work post haste and come to the rescue. BTW….the second interview morning was met with a bout of diarrhea. *sigh*

  103. 118

    I would loooove to win the book! I’ve been having “one of those days” for months… Thanks :)

  104. 119

    Last night…husband is out of town seeking employment…from 2:45-8:45~2:45 pick up 3 and 5 year old girls, drop off 5 year old for ballet and tap classes, pick up 15 year old boy from track practice, drop off at home; pick up 13 year old girl from band practice, drop off at home with 3 year old; @4:30 pick up 5 year old and dinner for boy, go home to load up the other 3 kids and take boy to Driver’s Ed; 5-6:45 go to church to help register kids for special event with @coffeyanderson, eat hotdogs, chips and chili; pick up boy and return him to church event; wait in car with little girlies (cleaned it out a bit while they played on iPad and watched Despicable Me); run to Target for acne clearing makeup for 13 y/o; 8:45 finally home to have girls ice and decorate the cupcakes I made earlier for Valentine’s Day pre-school party, take pics of geometry homework to send to my husband so he can help the boy with his homework via phone, finish the Valentine’s cards the 5 year old started working on the day before, pack cupcakes and cards and put by backdoor. Start a load of laundry. Finish loading dishwasher and get it running. Breathing treatment for 3 year old. I was sooooo tired.

  105. 120

    I am having one of those WEEKS not days! There are toys and “treasures” in almost every room of this house (3 levels) and peoples stuff in general in places I do not understand why. Even the garage….WHY is this here? haha! I had a long day yesterday and it seemed to carry into this morning. I had a good hard laugh/cry reading your post this morning Lisa-Jo. I am SO commenting to hope for a copy of this book! :) And I’m reminding myself right now that I really will miss this later.

  106. 121

    I have days like this more often than I can count…this book is one I need to read.

  107. 122

    A half hour “rest” time stretched to 45 minutes. When I called the three year-old upstairs, he started sounding very busy. 15 minutes later I heard, “Mom, I need help cleaning up!” Sighing and expecting a bedroom full of Legos, I opened his door to find an entire jug of Costco-sized chocolate syrup emptied on the floor of his bedroom, providing a mud pit of sorts for his trucks which left tracks all over the carpet. There was a box of Triscuts smooshed into the mess. He was covered head to toe in chocolate. I laughed and cried like a maniac. We had to replace the carpet when we sold the house.

  108. 123

    Yesterday was one of those days…I woke the 2 older kids for school and headed downstairs at which point the 5yr old says something indecipherable and I question huh? He repeats and I still can’t quite understand what it is he’s said so I say oh, ok and continue on my way. A few minutes later he’s standing behind me crying. I of course ask what’s wrong to hear him repeat what it is he was trying to tell me earlier, that he had thrown up in his bed and then proceeded to sleep in it the rest of the night. That was the start of a too long day…
    Looking forward to reading this book :)

  109. 124

    Sounds like an excellent book to follow Desperate!

  110. 125

    I fell asleep because I had the flu and in my first trimester. The kids were watching a movie. I woke up to find a new canvas art piece on the back of the couch, all the couch cushions on the floor covering up the carpet that had been decorated with blue toothpaste.

  111. 126

    can’t wait to read this!!!!! There certainly are plenty of days like that in our house with twin two year olds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But, you love ’em and eat the chocolate that you told them they couldn’t have :)

  112. 127

    You just gotta love them on those days! Lately, my 7 year old has been a terror to get ready for boyscouts – which he loved until a few weeks ago. I’ve told him all along that he quits, he has to pay me back for the $100 uniform we bought him. But it hasn’t been as issue. Until now. After a particularly difficult Monday evening, you know, rush home from work, finish homework, cram something negligibly healthy into the kids for dinner and back out the door in 45 minutes, my son and I were talking on the drive home after the meeting. Now this meeting had been pretty boring, a “go-see-it” wasn’t what we expected it to be. As we pull into the driveway, he says, as serious as he can be, “Mom, can I just give you $100 and be done?” I just started to laugh. What else can you do??? Won’t be long before he’s really able to outsmart his mom.

    And for dinner tonight, I made stuffed shells for hubby and I for Valentine’s. If the boys (also have an 8 year old) don’t like them, well, I’ve already decided they can have cake for dinner. I’m just letting it go today!!

    Thanks for the opportunity to win!
    Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!

  113. 128
    Charity Savage says:

    Wow, my days don’t seem so bad now! Great to know its not just me. Ok, here’s my story: I drop kids off at my Mom’s every night for 2hrs while I take care if te dogs at my boarding kennel, drive to my husbands dairy farm ( 5 miles away), work in the barn for an hour, drive to horse barn to bring them for the night, and back to pick up my kids. At home it is now supper-bath-bed time. The 2.5 year old is still in the tub playing as I am nursing his 6 month old sister and put her down to scream in bed (because I put her down) to find out why my son has been yelling for Mommy. Find him sitting in a tub full of bubbles made from the (now empty) brand new bottle of baby wash. He is holding the plastic tub cup and informing me that he pooped. Yup, there in the cup, poop. Dump cup, flush, rinse and remove child from tub, find that bubbles were masking much more poop still in tub (he Hadn’t popped in 3days) meanwhile sister STILL screaming in bed. Sigh… Kids asleep, bathroom clean and just started to fix supper when hubby got home at 8:30pm. I didn’t even indulge in wine because I was nursing!! Chocolate worked!

  114. 129

    So we are entering a new phase, one in which 8 year old daughter starts learning to play the recorder and I gain a whole new level of empathy for my mother…
    She learned her first song last Wed. at school, Hot Cross Buns, and so was playing it endlessly last night…
    Who knew it could sound so awful! And then, she discovered she could play the recorder with just one hand and so proceeded to play it on the recorder and the piano at the same time! Oh joy!

    Then Friday, yet another snow day. They were all super clingy and whiny, so after numerous failed ideas, I told them we were making cookies. Great idea right? Well it was going ok until my 4 year old daughter somehow managed to crack an entire egg over the table instead of the bowl. Got that cleaned up, no big deal. And then, a few minutes later she accidentally knocked the mixer (handheld) off the table, and upon landing it somehow turned itself on and flung batter everywhere while she screamed, my 7 year old son started to panic, and my 8 year old daughter frantically tried to get it and turn it off. Aftermath-4 year old had batter from head to toe and the floor and wall had their share as well. So a mid day bath commenced and I was half laughing and half plotting my escape-and it was only noon!!

  115. 130

    There was a day I threw cheerios on the floor to feed the kids because that’s where they were eating them from anyway. There were blankets covering the dirt – well, in a few places anyway… I just didn’t have the energy to get everyone to the table. That also happened to be the day a friend, just pregnant with her first, came over to drop something off and in her very prego state, had to use the bathroom… and walk right through the feeding ground… into a probably hadn’t been cleaned bathroom. I beat myself up about the days I had like that… Now the kids I’m feeding are teenagers. I mentor other moms of young kids and tell them how much the cheerios on the floor are OK and how much I miss those days.

  116. 131

    Our 16 month old son is usually very independent. He always has a grin on his face and was named “the happiest kid” in his daycare. Well, a few nights ago he started waking up at 12:30 and would not stop crying. I laid down next to his crib, put my hand through the bars to try and soothe him. Talking and singing. Nothing worked. Finally, exhausted, I brought him into our bed. The crying completely stopped. Next night, same thing happened. I laid next to his crib for an hour. Finally got fed up and went to bed to let him “cry it out.” An hour later, 2:30 a.m., my husband and I were awoken by loud crying and a little boy who had somehow managed to escape his crib walked into our room. I am terrified thinking how he managed to “jump ship” and am just so grateful he didn’t break his neck in the process. He is a perfect angel at daycare but when he is with us in the morning and evening he is whining and clinging all the time. I sure hope this phase doesn’t last too long! We are all exhausted!

  117. 132

    Last week I was filling out my daughter’s kindergarten co-op paperwork (a hefty stack), thinking how I was a great mom for finishing it 6 weeks early and for finding her a good school and how nice and quiet the kids were being… Then I realized “they’re being quiet!”. I went into the kitchen to find my two year old splashing in 8 bottles’ worth of food coloring. After cleaning it up my hands were rainbow colored for two days.

  118. 133

    I’ve got 4 kids between the ages of 4 and 7…everyday is “a day like this!” I’m thinking of one day when one of my youngest went face first into wet cement at the local park. And in order to help her, I had to slip and slide and fall on my butt in the wet cement. Next thing I know two of my other kids, tried to come over to help me. The construction crew pouring cement for a new walkway at the park was not amused with our handiwork!

  119. 134

    I don’t have nearly a story like the one above! My oldest is just over two and my youngest is working on crawling, so he’s not too mischievous yet. One of my favorite times was when I left my two year old in the bathtub (I know, I know) for 2 minutes. I came back to an empty bottle of Mama’s bubble bath (that was BRAND new) and lots of bubbles. I had to put her in the shower to get her clean!

  120. 135

    Valentines morning started out with “I love you’s” and candy gifts. Before we were even out the door for school/work there was yelling, foot stomping, hitting and crying….and not all of it was from my 3 kiddos. Feeling like Valentines day was a bust and it is only 11 a.m….

  121. 136

    Oh those days? The days that never ever seem to end when your are potty training you very smart (maybe too smart for her own good) three almost four year old? When she knows why the potty is for and why and what to do but goes in the middle of the living room floor allll day long any way? And it seems to last forever and ever and ever? Okay. I’m sure potty training doesn’t but seriously it feels that way.

  122. 137

    I have my 4 yr old daughter, 3 yr old son and 2 yr old son who all share one room. During their afternoon naps they r reminded of the rules- stay in bed, no talking and go to sleep until dinner. There has been many a time that after I have put them down they r quiet as mice but once they hear the squeaks on the stairwell steps stop they know mamma is downstairs and it’s time to goof-around…
    I often hear my daughter say, “Samuel, mommy’s downstairs you can come over here now…” Her brother says, “No Grace {with a soft boistrious and serious voice} mommy told me not to be disobedient!”
    I end up in their room not even 5 mins later having to go over the rules yet again because Samuel has eventually succumbed to his sister’s demands…..LOL! Too funny!

  123. 138

    A few years ago we were preparing to sell a house that we had built, because the whole experience was an exercise in stressful frustration. Homeschooling our three children on top of everything was a daily challenge.

    One day, I went down for just 15 minutes to unload the dishwasher and came back up to art work in two bedrooms. My three year old daughter had taken an orange crayon and made her own version of wainscot on the wall. Her older brother had drawn all over the white doors and frames of his and his sister’s bedrooms with a black marker.

    I had just finished painting all the doors and trim the previous month, so I had an emotional meltdown and went crazy, shouting, “How can you do this when you know that Mommy and Daddy are trying to sell the house?”

    Iain’s tearful reply?

    “But Mommy, I was only practicing my big I’s.”

    Then I noticed that all the marks did look like capital letter I’s.

    I couldn’t help but hug him. And even though I did have to repaint, I was very thankful that the black marker was not a permanent one.

  124. 139

    The day before yesterday, all three of my littles, three and under, were crying at once and the older two were in a near constant “pick on each other” match. In their best interest and my sanity, they were plopped in bed for nap-time an hour early with granola bar in hand as their lunch/snack. They woke up happier and I could have a few (yes only a few, but definitely a PRECIOUS few) minutes to devote to nursing my 5 month old to sleep and gear up for my husband’s birthday prep for the following day. I better run…or I’ll have another “one of those days” upon me. =) Thanks for all your encouragement. I cherish your words.

  125. 140
    Jenny Martin says:

    Oh i need this book….I have a mini me daughter (she’s 10) and so I swear my mom thinks it is so funny how much like me she is–so we are always butting heads! Mom thinks it is funny how I am having to go thru everything she did with me!

  126. 141

    I’d always heard motherhood was a comedy of errors… but it wasn’t until one fine spring day that I understood what that meant. It was June and I was very (like very) pregnant with my son. My daughter, 2 1/2 at the time, and I were just getting out of the shower ( I never did figure out how to shower on my own whilst raising a toddler). I was busy drying off my girl when the phone rang. I attempted to wrap myself in a towel (Did I mention I was very (VERY) pregnant), bundled my daughter up in her towel and headed down the stairs to answer the phone. I set her down on the floor and proceeded to have a lovely conversation with my mother sans clothing (Okay – I had a towel on but it was a wee towel and I was PREGNANT)… I happened to look out the kitchen window and could. not. believe. my. eyes. There was my towel clad girl sporting my high heel shoes and the decorative hat that was hanging in the bath (don’t judge this was 17 years ago, decorative bathroom hats were ALL the rage) making her way to the front yard… and the road. Not caring a hoot about my bits that were most assuredly flapping in the breeze, barely being covered by the washcloth sized towel… I marched outside to save my daugther from certain danger only to find her having a heart to heart with my grandfather, who lived just behind us. Bless his heart… His ears got a little pink and he bent over my 2 year old beauty queen and suggested that she might want to take mommy inside and help her find her clothes because she seems to have forgotten where she put them… I WAS MORTIFIED. The only consolation to this story is that one day she will be getting married and I will, without a doubt, be sharing every detail of her catwalk jaunt to the front porch in nothing but a towel and a garden hat.

  127. 142

    Having children has made the idea of having every room in our house clean- at the same time- as remote and heavenly as a trip to Hawaii. Both of which I can say with 98% certainty will not happen in the next 15 years. This blog post IS my life. Messy. Crazy. Deeply disturbed and richly blessed. Thanks for sharing all you do, LisaJo

  128. 143

    i have been reading all the reviews my lovely blogger friends have been writing…
    it MUST be a fab book is all i can say :) i can’t wait to read it whether i win it or buy it :)

  129. 144

    Wow, that first one is good. I’ve been ruminating about this all morning. Should I write about the time my 18 month old found blue food coloring and proceeded to smear it all over himself and the floor, slipping and falling in it until he looked like a blueberry? Or maybe the time that I was sick with the flu in the bathroom, with my baby in his bouncy right next to me so I could keep any eye on him, with my foot holding the baby gate up against the door while my 2 year old screamed and kicked it to get in? Or the time that my 7 year old saw me exercising and said, “Why are you so fat? How are you going to get all that weight off?” I just can’t decide. What I do know is that I really want this book!! :)

  130. 145

    I’ve had many days like that including today. I’ve been dealing with my 6 yr old obedience issues and having a hard time not getting worn down/discouraged. I would love to read her book as I’m sure I could relate to many things :)

  131. 146

    I am sure if I sat for a minute and thought about it there would be more things than I could count or type over the last 21 years and 6 children. But one did spring to mind right away… He and his cousin were 5 years old and had been quiet for too long. Wood stove + not cleaned since winter + 2 five-yr-olds = living room and children covered in ashes. Pigpen had nothing on these guys. Funny now. Near death to the vacuum then.

  132. 147

    My two girls are in prime toddler mess-making, wreaking havoc years, so I feel like I could flood your page with stories of chaos, fun, bewilderment, and love. I had them 18 months apart, so they are thick as thieves most days.
    One of my funniest memories was not long after I had my second. I was tending to her, and my older daughter, right at 18 mos, was playing alone in the playroom. There was a moment of quiet that lasted a bit too long, and I knew I was about to find trouble when I called out to her and didn’t receive an answer… I walked in to find her hiding, naked, except for her diaper, with blue stripes from her elbows to her knees. Somehow, she had found a SHARPIE and decided to strip down an turn herself into a zebra. I could not help but just laugh. Especially when she explained to me that she was a zebra :) It was a learning moment for me. I just had to laugh it off. I shouldn’t have left her alone that long anyway, and it could have been worse, ha!

  133. 148

    Oh my. I’ve lived that day. Not too long ago, I had all of my children at the park. A stranger asked if I was a nanny. I said, no they are all mine. She replied, Oh, well then, one of YOUR children is over there playing in duck poo.

    Ahh – life as mom. Can’t beat it. :)

  134. 149
    Elizabeth C. says:

    My daughter is only 17 months so I’m still kind of new to this and I don’t have as many of these stories, yet; However, as a working mother, who is married to a wonderful, loving man with true ADD, I feel like I have alot of these little moments regularly, especially on the days he keeps her. Most recently, I came home and greeted my little girl while noticing a familiar smell of maple syrup. I asked if she’d eaten a waffle for afternoon snack, but no, she’d had it for breakfast (about 6 hours earlier, mind you) but my husband said he thought it smelled good so no need to wipe her face…all day?! God love him and so do I :)

  135. 150

    I’m currently having a week kind of like that… two girls who have had the flu for going on 10 days… one a 9 year old navigating some fresh new hormonal and emotional surges. Mama who is newly pregnant and not well herself, and we’ll just not even mention her hormones.

    Oh yes, I’m sure my husband would describe it as comedy when he comes home in the evening.

  136. 151

    I’ve got nothing to even remotely touch this. lol I’m a SAHM of a just-turned 3 yr old – without too many wild tales to tell of (yet!). Thank you for helping me keep my ‘bad’ days in perspective! I love your blog. It is what I go to when I need a ‘pick me up’ to keep me going. Sending blessings…

  137. 152

    I’m a new mom and I’ll never forget the first day my son went to daycare. My husband and I carpool to work together and on our way home I head to the day care, which is close to our house. He gives me the strangest look and seriously asks, “Do we have an errand to run? Why aren’t you going to the house?” I will never forget the look on his face when I said, “I’m going to get our son!” and he realized he really had forgotten that we needed to get him!

  138. 153

    This. Is. Wonderful! This spirit of sharing and laughing together. I love that you encourage this, Lisa-Jo!

    The most recent one of “those days” I had committed to staying at home with my youngest, in our pajamas, and just “being” with her. She started off our time together having an accident on the couch cushions. So, we did some laundry together. She threw in a new red t-shirt I had recently bought, to be helpful. And I was doing a load of whites. Only she didn’t tell me she had snuck it in. Then she decided to help me clean by using my new WHITE t-shirt as a rag on the very dirty mudroom floor. Ah, little helpers. I was ready to wave the white flag by 10:30 am!

  139. 154

    Raising 3 boys can prove to be quite interesting. After church a couple of Sundays ago, my oldest son, 5, was outside playing with some of the other boys, when a lady in the church made a comment to me about how bright the sun was outside. I turned around to look out the window and to my embarrassment , my son, who apparently had to potty, had dropped his pants in the church yard and was watering the grass. After finally making it home, my two youngest ( 18 mnths & 2 1/2 yrs) wanted to look out the window. (we have a bay window in our LR.) However, they didn’t mention it to mom. It got too quiet. When I found them, they had moved one of our end tables up against the window and climbed up in it. So thankful no one was hurt! Guess I’ll look back one day and just laugh. Boys will be boys!

  140. 155

    Oh my. One of mine just turned 2 and the other is almost 10 months, both boys, but I can so relate already! Yesterday, I had them both in booster seats in the kitchen while I tried to get myself something to eat. Baby was playing with toys and Toddler was eating. Baby started throwing his toys on the floor, so Toddler decided to play his favorite game: Mimic the Baby. That resulted in oatmeal, applesauce, and rice cake getting thrown on the floor, and a big puddle of milk spit out onto the floor. Then as I tried to clean that up, he threw food in my hair. Meanwhile, Baby is crying and flailing and Toddler starts mimicking Baby’s crying… That’s just part of a typical day for me. I think I live in a circus.

  141. 156

    No long story just hoping 4.5 year old daughter will not have a hour and a half cryfest meltdown mommy don’t leave me even though I am in time out moment while her favorite Aunt visits her again! When asked her what she needed she simply cried “YOU”! Momma said , momma said.

  142. 157

    Shall I tell you about the day my sweet son exercised his creative art skills on our ivory walls with TURQUOISE spray paint, and oh yeah–we rent. OR the time that all three of my little angels sprinkled garlic salt on the entire surface area of their bedroom carpet (with the smell like an Italian eatery lingering for days!). OR how about the time they watered the artificial Christmas tree? and one of my FAVORITE “days like this moment” when my son (who was around 3 at the time) pulled a tampon out of my purse and asked if he could have a piece of candy…at the doctors’ office..in front of the doctor. {sigh} I’d LOVE to read this book so I’m PRAYING I win a copy! ;)

  143. 158

    Like most posting on here I could probably list more than a few “days like these” but the one that pops into my mind first happened about a year and half ago, just after we had purchased our new (to us) car.
    My husband and I were standing outside talking just before he left to take our daughter to preschool. While we were having this conversation, our daughter was patiently occupying herself in the yard. We finished talking & said our good-byes, Abby quickly showed me a “pretty rock” she found while she was playing & they headed off the preschool.
    It wasn’t until my husband got back home from dropping her off the we realized she had used her “pretty rock” to etch her name AND a game of tic-tac-toe into one of the car doors.

  144. 159

    toddlers getting a hold of the powder bottle… all over their entire room
    meal time battles, bath time battles, homework battles, bedtime battles…
    vomit… from the top bunk!
    not all on the same day, thankfully…

  145. 160

    My son’s first trip to visit his Daddy at work. Not one minute before we leave, his diaper explodes. Poop EVERYWHERE. Change of clothes (no “Daddy’s Boy” shirt today, I guess), bath, new diaper…and now he’s hungry.

    Needless to say, we were nearly 40 minutes late to see my husband. Thank goodness my Mom was here visiting – otherwise, I would have lost it!

  146. 161

    My worst day thus far (in my 18 mo of motherhood) was the day my 14 mo old toddler locked me in the basement. I went downstairs to grab meat for dinner, and upon returning up the stairs, discovered that the door wouldn’t open. I thought it was just jammed, so I kicked it about a billion times, all while my son kept jabbering and occasionally peering at me through the kitty door.

    I then went out the cellar doors into the backyard, but of course, as a good mom, all the doors and windows were locked. At this point, the timer on the oven was going off (my son’s dinner was ready), my husband hadn’t left work yet (and he works an hour away), and I didn’t have a cell phone or spare key handy. Sooooo I did what any panicked mom does and kicked in the glass of the back door!

    After the fact, I realized that we had a slide lock on the basement door that my son had managed to lock. It was promptly removed that evening and I think it took $200 and a couple of weeks to fix the window. Needless to say, I really needed a glass of wine when my hubby got home from work!!

  147. 162
    Heidi Menges says:

    I pulled up in our yard yesterday to find all my grandsons ( they live with us) toys and shoes all over the lawn. They thought it would be fun to throw them from their 3rd floor bedroom window. Unfortunately it had rained before I discovered it.

  148. 163

    I laughed and cried when I read this post! I have three children, with about 5 years between each (you know, put one in school and have another one), so I never had all of them little at the same time. But we did do a lot of switching gears – in one evening after work, while cooking supper and folding laundry, I would listen to my oldest (10 yr old girl) tell me about her every conversation and happenings at school, my oldest son (then 5-6 yrs old) was all over the place practicing his ninja moves and telling me all his made-up adventures, and my baby (approx. 1 yr old) was underfoot or overhead or sitting on the counter “helping” me cook supper and babbling his own language. There wasn’t a day that went by that somebody didn’t bleed from some part of their body or send me screaming with outstretched arms to catch something or somebody. All the while, my wonderful husband enjoyed many tv shows and movies and meals from the comfort of our living room sofa. I don’t know what I would do with those wonderful earrings if I were to get them, as I gave up wearing earrings many years ago. Perhaps they would make a lovely birthday gift for my daughter (now age 22). Love your stories – God bless you!

    • 164

      ok – I was responding to two emails combined in one reply – yours is a book, the other is a piece of jewelry (I’m sure you can see the logic of my error – and yes, it’s been one of those days). Book? YES I would love to read it! Glad to know I’m not alone in this mommy thing.

  149. 165

    I had one of those days yesterday. I was feeling very overwhelmed and anxious all afternoon for no real reason but still trying to function. I had wanted to make cookies for my daughter’s class for valentines day but found out I didn’t have flour. I was trying to pull dinner together for my older kids that had bsketball and I wanted to make a cheesecake for my family for Valentine’s day when I got a text that a close family member and her husband were separating. I became an emotional mess. All my older kids were working or at basketball games…as was my husband…the baby is getting molars and clingy and miserable, the dishes weren’t done, the house was clutter bombed, and my 3 yo was a whiny mess. All the baby wanted to do was nurse and everytime I tried to put her to bed she cried. A couple of the teenagers came home in lousy moods and were throwing attitude when their father asked them to help him clean up. I snapped…swore at my two oldest(which is out of charcter….usually it’s just under my breath!)….and went to bed. It was 10. I cried for 15 min and then the baby woke up again…then the toddler woke up over and over until at midnight, he asked for a glass of water and spilled it all over himself and the bed….and I lost it again. Not winning any mommy awards for sure, but I did apologize to everyone this morning.

  150. 166

    After getting an exhausted 2 year old down for a nap yesterday I decided to take a few minutes for myself and take a shower. I took a few extra minutes to shave my legs (since today is Valentine’s and all!) which at 25 weeks pregnant is becoming more and more of a chore, after getting both legs done I realized the cap was still on the razor and by then it wasn’t worth re-doing. Upon getting out of the shower I realized the dog (read: monster) had chewed up my bra and underwear that I had set out to wear, and the sleeping angel had woken up and emptied a whole bottle of hand sanitizer onto the floor, but kindly enough thrown away the bottle after it was empty :) We’ve all got these days and at the time they can be stressful but looking back I wouldn’t trade it for the world and I feel so blessed to have a chance to wake up tomorrow and do it all again!

  151. 167
    Denise Metzig says:

    I have a 23 month old son and two grand daughters 3 and 2. Yes, I did say grand daughters. They all go to the same child care scenter and my daughter and the two of them usually eat dinner with us almost every evening. Once they arrive it is just simple disaster. My son and the littlest grand daughter usually locked themselves in the laundry room, which also happens to be where the pantry for the food is, minus a door. They tear out most everything they think they can get open to eat. My oldest grand daughter follows me around going hold me Nin, hold me and crying if I dont. Then she is trying to con me out of everything she shouldnt have before dinner. While she is on my hip while im trying to cook the other two are now smacking each other and my 12 year old ADHD son is trying to do homework begging for help. Yep this is just another typical day at the Metzig house. LOL

  152. 168

    Those days when there is so much laundry piling up that you almost have NO pants for your 2 year old son…yep! This morning! But oh well…baby snuggles and kid hugs far surpass laundry!! Would love a book!!!

  153. 169

    It was as if you were recounting one of my days when the kids were little. Hilarious now…not so much then. Guess what 5 or 10 years from now, same characters, same sort of scene…on a whole different level – Fun! Exasperating! And SOOO worth every “days like this” moment!

    ~Julie

  154. 170

    Wow…compared to this post, I really don’t have anything to complain about! :) Right now, my main problem is getting the kids to bed without going bald. By the time I get them all settled down (after fifteen hours of stories, praying, water, peeing, calming, threatening, calming again, praying again, more water, more peeing and more threatening…only louder) I feel like the horriblest mother that ever existed. Ever.

    Really.

    So, I’d really love to read this book. I could use the encouragement. :)

  155. 171

    um, yeah, so . . . that time when my son was standing up to pee and “accidentally” had the runniest diarhea EVER and ALL. OVER. EVERYWHERE! (and, he was 7!) And by everywhere, I mean, in between the laminate floor tiles that doesn’t have grout between them! uh huh. Yep, you betcha who was a fly-off-the-handle-crazy-momma! I took a bucket and soaked his jeans and then decided to throw them out. It was not a particularly good day. But yep, Momma said there’d be days like that!

  156. 172
    carissa belford says:

    These posts make my day!
    I have twins and one day I left them in their room with a gate up. When I returned they both had their diapers off (which I ended up having to duct tape backwards, just so they would keep them on)…….and poopy smeared all over the walls, carpet, themselves and “elsewhere” like their mouth.

    IT WAS THE GROSSEST thing I’ve ever seen.
    Thanks for your blog!!

  157. 173

    Mine are all adults but would make a fun gift for the mothers of the worlds busiest grandsons!

  158. 174

    I was 3 months pregnant with #2 and sick as a dog as my dad likes to say, when I, thinking my husband was on his way home I tucked my preschooler into bd and took a phenergan- which knocks me fit out but helps with the puking. No sooner had I taken the meds when hubby calls to tell me he got tied up at work and is going to be late. I hang up with him sleep for all of 20 minutes when I awake to the sound of my preschooler sobbing in my ear about how sick she feels. I groggily and I mean barely functioning manage to roll over in time to realize she’s about to puke all over my bed. I rush her to the bathroom, holding her hair back from her face with my eyes literally closed from the medicine induce sleep, and then the smell of her puke hits me and I start in throwing up. Which makes her cry, which of course makes her throw up more. So we’re lying there on the bathroom floor alternating throwing up, both of us in tears. At this point I have to admit number 2 seemed like a really stupid idea….

  159. 175

    The morning that I was trying to get my brood out the door to take my eldest to preschool and my 4 yr old wouldn’t wear anything but a sundress (in the dead of winter in Illinois!), my 2 yr old was disobeying EVERY THING that I asked her to do, and to top it all off, I dropped a cereal box on my 2 week old. *sigh*

  160. 176

    They all cry at once, all the time. So everyday is a madhouse :)

  161. 177

    It’s so funny that his was your post today! Yesterday was “one of those days.” It started off with my oldest peeing in the garbage can morning as I was changing the “blow-out” created by my youngest. At the same time my middle child decided to find my make-up and look pretty. Mind you, we were already running late to get everyone to preschool.- What a morning!

  162. 178

    When I have to tell my 8 yr old girl that sometimes girls are mean. I hate that!

  163. 179

    Driving to my in-law’s house the day before Thanksgiving. We were about an hour from our destination and discovered that both kids had the stomach bug. I’ve never seen messier car seats in my life. Diapers, they don’t hold up well against bugs like that. I seriously considered throwing both car seats away. Thankfully my MIL washed everything. Twice. Including the kids.

  164. 180

    Me, my hubby & kids are all sick, so I’m already in a bad mood. I finally get my 2 yr old down for a nap & work on getting the baby to sleep (a long process lately…). The baby is just drifting off to sleep when my toddler starts crying & screaming… Which wakes the baby up. I take care of my toddler, then work on getting the baby back to sleep. Finally asleep! Then my toddler calls again. He pooped & started taking off his diaper in bed! The problem is my baby is in a phase of only napping while being held. I have the choice of leaving the toddler in a poopy mess & having a sleeping baby OR a clean toddler & screaming baby. I choose the latter. Put the baby in bed, go to change the toddlers diaper & right on cue, baby starts screaming. We’re at square one again with the naps. Long story short, this continues… Neither kid takes a nap & I have 2 very grumpy overtired child the rest of the day… All while being sick!

  165. 181

    I am LOVING this post, amazing moms and kids out there for sure!

    My story is thanks to my oldest, a Woody-adoring, boot wearing, “just like my Daddy…a man” little 3 1/2 yr old. I stripped my sheets this morning to wash them (much to his dismay) and he comes in my room and asks “What’s going on in here!!??!” I told him I was washing my sheets because they needed to be cleaned. End of combo

    Travel 2 hours as we are checking out at Target he proceeds in yelling at the TOP of his lungs that “It’s okay to teetee in your bed, everyone! My Mama still does! And she is a BIG girl.”

    So happy I could at least boost his confidence whilst losing any dignity I might have had left :)

  166. 182

    Yesterday my middle daughter had to get 4 teeth out. I’m a single mom, so all the carting around is done by me. It was a sudden appointment, so we weren’t prepared with food for after the procedure. My oldest daughter had soccer practice 20 minutes away, so I took the middle to get the teeth out, got her home, took the oldest all the way to practice, ran to the store to get some soup, went back home, at which point I realized the soup wasn’t gluten free (she’s got allergies) so told her not to eat the noodles, ran back to pick up the oldest from soccer and finally got home at 7 to have the middle tell me that she’s hungry because while she fell asleep the youngest ate the soup. Sigh…

  167. 183

    I had one of those days today… My 3 year old daughter has a cold, and it means less sleep and a not so adaptable toddler. My almost 1 year old has began to cruise and can get to things faster than I can even turn around. I think I cleaned up the same mess a thousand times today and took the same papers away over and over (finally I put them out of reach – yes, it took a few tries for me to get that one). My daughter wanted nothing more than to “watch tv” and “eat my chocolate” that she got from Valentines – needless to say, there were a lot of tears, “no”‘s, and sorry to say yelling. Nothing too major, and in all not a “terrible” day… just a day where Mommy could have used a break! Thank God for early bedtimes! :)

  168. 184

    I came home from being gone all day Monday to find my crockpot dinner burned to a charcoal briquette. We ordered pizza even though it didn’t really fit the budget. Definitely one of those days.

  169. 185

    What about weeks? Like this one I’m having? Some highlights: washing every washable article in the house at least once, including sheets and the couch cushions, teething baby, monkey-boy climbing the OUTSIDE of his bunk bed, disastrous new recipe, and multiple Toys R Us Apocalypses. It’s worth it though, when the baby laughs just for you, the 4-year-old fills up your water bottle and the toddler comes to “hold you, Mama”.

  170. 186

    I had an incident where my son opened cooking oil on the floor. I underdressed him and put him
    Naked in his crib to clean up. Only to fund a second round of cleaning when I was done- he had weed all over his crib!

  171. 187
    strawberryrose says:

    My one year old proceeds to break open a few eggs while he was sitting in the grocery cart. Not only was there a mess, I was worried about salmonella!

  172. 188

    When my oldest daughter was 2, she got up from what was supposed to be her afternoon nap and wandered into the bathroom. Before you ask, yes I heard her but I was in denial, having spent a tiring morning chasing her around, so I convinced myself I hadn’t heard anything. We pieced the story together later based on the evidence: she went to the bathroom to use the potty and accidentally dropped her panties in the toilet. Then like a good girl, she tried to wash her hands, but she put soap on them before she tried to turn on the faucet and then she couldn’t turn it on because her hands were slippery. So she decided to brush her teeth and by the time she did that she had wiped enough soap off her hands to get the water on. The only problem was that she knocked a cotton ball into the sink drain, stopping it up. The end result of all this was her running down the hall to get me yelling about the water being on and not going off. There was water running all over the bathroom counter, into the cabinets underneath and on the floor. Humongous mess!

  173. 189

    I am a tired mom. At the age of 52, I have a four year old and fourteen year old, both with high needs. It’s a toss-up who is the most mature. We’ve fostered and adopted kids for nine years. Three of our six kids are hoping to be pregnant this year. There have been 11 other children just passing through. It hasn’t gotten any easier with experience. Each kid, and combination of kids create their own special challenges. There have been seasons in our parenting lives that were so awful we can’t freely disclose, even to vent. The secondary trauma of just thinking about what I’d say is more than some people can or even should manage. And I worked years to get my life to the place where I could have more kids to care for . . . . . . . . . . .? I have amazing coping skills, that would probably be disfunctional in a more normal life. Laughter is the best, and sometimes the hardest to come up with.

  174. 190
    Allison Jones says:

    My 2 are teens now, so I don’t have any recent stories like so many of these ladies, but I’d love to read your book – and then I’d pass it on to some younger moms I know so they, too, will know they are not alone in this thing called ‘motherhood’!

  175. 191

    My oldest (age 11) has bowel/bladder incontinence problems and my youngest is still not dry at night (he is 7 and wears pull-ups). One morning a while back the oldest didn’t make it to the bathroom in time for a bowel movement, the youngest wet the bed through his pull-up, and the dog pooped on the floor. Trifecta.

  176. 192
    Tina Matteson says:

    It was the last week of school before Christmas vacation and I had lots of things I was planning to get accomplished… and then my two younger kids, ages 6 and 9 came down with the flu, so they were home all week instead of at school. Then, one day as I was taking care of them I discovered they both had HEAD LICE… to top it off, I came down with the flu, too. It was an awful week and not the best Christmas we have ever had, but I’m thankful we are all well now. :)

  177. 193

    AH! I just blogged about “days like this” last week! :)

    I feel through a chair, I spilled melted crayon wax (to be made into pretty heart shaped crayons) all over the floor. and frig. and dishwasher. I dropped a plate when I was cleaning up after lunch and it shattered on the tiled floor. A step stool literally feel apart when I touched it. To top off my chaotic day, company was coming for bible study.

    http://lauriesnotions.blogspot.com/2013/02/great-days-happen-even-when-it-feels.html

  178. 194

    My husband and I had taken our three kids, 4, almost 2 and 6 months, to Florida to visit his “snowbird” parents. On the day of our return trip, we loaded into the rental mini-van and headed for the airport. As we pulled into the rental car return the two year old threw up all over himself and his carseat. Lovely. Somehow DH got our gear unloaded by himself while, I herded the kids and calmed down the sick one. As quickly as we could manage our two car seats, infant carrier, sick child, well children, suitcases and backpacks, we headed inside the airport to find a bathroom to clean up the poor little guy.

    Thank goodness, Grammy and Grandpa had decided to come along to say one more good-bye. Someone found a garbage bag and we decided to check the very smelly car seat rather than be forced to smell it for the next four hours. I dug through our luggage, found clean clothes for the two year old, and got him cleaned up. Grandpa graciously took the stinky, wet clothes back to their car to launder and mail back to us.

    Just as we were starting to feel like maybe we could pull off this return flight after all I smelled something. It was coming from my 6 month old daughter. So Grammy and I headed back to the bathroom, this time with the smelly little girl and the four year old who needed to go potty too. In the bathroom I discovered that Baby Girl hadn’t just pooped a little, she had pooped everywhere. Back to the luggage goes Grammy to find more clean clothes. Grandpa got back from his first trip to the car with our dirty laundry just in time to be sent back with more.

    Ah, the joys of traveling with children.

  179. 195

    Today was especially epic as my 4yr old came down with a fever on Valentines’s Day. My husbands mom is post surgery and needed him to bring her something. Then he was supposed to get us dinner with a Buy One Get One coupon but some system at the restaurant is down and they aren’t taking orders. Are you kidding me??

  180. 196

    I have days like that weekly. It would seem I’m an inattentive mother but hey I’m sorely outnumbered! ;) While I was trying to rebuild the fire this morning my not-quite-two year old climbed into my bathroom sink, found the “candy” (toothpaste) and ate half a tube while smearing it all over the mirror. Thankfully I had the presence of mind to get blackmail pictures. It was FAR too quiet. Wish I was always able to take a deep breath and take it in stride.

  181. 197

    Well, today my potty training toddler greeted me when I entered his room to give up naptime since he wasn’t sleeping by pointing his finger at me. I thought he was just pointing but stopped just short of touching his finger in case he was offering me the results of his last foray into his nose. I flipped on the light and realized it was poop. Poop! On his hand! First time! Meanwhile, my teething infant has just stopped being constipated and when I go change her diaper the side falls off of the dresser drawer! Good thing I had chocolate fondue planned for dessert!

  182. 198

    Days like this…..I feel like I’m living months like this. My husband broke his foot, in of course a weird complex way that is hard to heal from. Broke it on Thanksgiving night. So since then, he’s been on the couch and I’ve been playing single mom….and God bless the moms who do it all the time because I am quite sure it is the hardest job EVER! Running in all directions with my three little ones – hoping we did do homework, have lunch money, and clean clothes to wear…because I am just too tired to remember. Hoping I did everything I needed to prepare to teach math the next day and I did remember to set the alarm…for am not pm. Feeling quite guilty, and truth be told sometimes angry, that because I’m on my own and I spend all my time cleaning up after my little hurricanes that can tear a clean room apart in seconds or doing all the chores that I used to have help with. And that dog they HAD to have…he has destroyed everything his puppy teeth can get ahold of. On top of day to day insanity we’ve battle stomach flu (thanks to the five year old who shared it with 16 of 22 family members on new year’s), pink eye, ear infections, and a wicked diaper rash. The pediatrician’s office doesn’t even ask for my insurance card anymore and I think the pharmacy knows me by name. But at the end of the day, I am thankful because although I’d love a little less insanity and a bit more help, being a mom is all I’ve ever wanted. And God blessed me with three healthy, beautiful children.

  183. 199

    Well, no “mama said there would be day’s like this” moments for me seeing as how I’m a single/childless female from MN yet I want to read Melanie’s book – completely normal right? (… don’t answer that question). :)

  184. 200

    As I continue to read your thoughts on face book, I am so elated of your funny wisdom! :-)
    My children are grown, but I think, “where was she when I was raising kids?”. My baby sister has a one and six year old and I would love to win your new book for her!
    Thanks and May God keep on inspiring you!
    Corrine Hallam

  185. 201

    I so know those days. I have three year old triplets. It’s most of my days. Like when we were potty training them last year and one took the other one’s pants off and all three smeared the very significant contents around the room and on the carpet, doors, and even themselves like war paint. 20 minutes before I was supposed to leave for a baby shower. I wanted to take a pic to the woman and say “you have no idea what you’re in for!” But I was too nice. They are worth every second of it, but those days with everyone sick or crying or fighting or messing certainly challenge your fortitude……..

  186. 202

    I’m staring sleepy eyed at this today, as my 7 year old could NOT fall asleep last night. At midnight, we surrendered to bed hoping he would fall asleep. I listened as I drifted in and out of sleep to him in/out of bed every hour or so, not sure what he was doing. At 2:30 perhaps? he joined us in our bed, the inevitable solution in his 7 year old brain, and I was just thankful it would end the door open/close routine to his night…. But at 4 am when he was still tossing and turning and could offer no explanation for his inability to lay still, and go to sleep… I was pondering the blessings of motherhood, not sure that this is one of them… and of course he is still asleep now but I’m up because the other 2 kids got up at the normal time and life must go on….

  187. 203

    One day my daughter, who was 2 at the time, was up in her room for naptime. When I went in the get her, I found that instead of sleeping, she had found a tube of Desitin, and squeezed it ALL OVER herself and the carpet. And let me tell you, that stuff is NOT easy to get out of the carpet!!!!

    That was definitely “one of THOSE days!”

  188. 204

    Yesterday my daughter wanted to play with shampoo bottles. thinking it would keep her occupied for a bit and thinking not much harm could come from it {HA!}, i let her. & i didn’t check on her right away. she had been playing with perfume as well and she sure smelled ‘nice’ when i did finally go check on her ;).

  189. 205

    Diapers were changed. Shoes on. Clean clothes on both boys. 5 minutes is all needed to rush and put on some makeup and brush my hair. I heard the boys laughing and giggling in their room and thought to myself “for once they are getting along!” (they are 3 years and 1 year). I finish up quickly, grab my keys and proceed to the boys to get them out the door. I walk into their room and stop. Shocked. Want to laugh but also a little bit upset. My 3 year old had decided to cover his room with the brand new baby powder. While also dumping it ALL over his little brother. His brother was laughing under the layer of whiteness. It was a moment I would relive 2 days later also when I tried to go the bathroom while they were playing cars on the floor. Note to moms: baby powder is very hard to clean off toys, beds and windows. :)

  190. 207

    My son was in the process of potty training- we had no. 1 figured out but having trouble with no 2., partly because of some food allergies and constipation made worse by withholding out of fear that it would hurt. I had taken him to a pediatric gastro guy, who recommended a cleanse using adult dosages of Miralax on a prescribed cycle. As we were leaving for vacation the next day, I decided to wait on the cleanse, but did give him a small dose of the Miralax that night to see if we could help his discomfort. the next morning I made sure to pack some clothes in a backpack, in case of an accident (still peeing in his pants on occasion and I knew we might not make it to the potty on time in a plane- we were trying not to revert to diapers and lose all the ground we had gained thus far). Once boarded, the Miralax took effect… and it took effect many, many times. By the time our short flight landed, I had a backpack full of washed out, but still smelly and dirty underwear, and was the recipient of many odd stares and wrinkled noses as we exited the plane. Standing firm on the no diaper policy, we made our return flight with underwear coated in panty liners- easy to peel off and throw away with out changing undies (however, my husband insists I mention he was not on board with using pantyliners on our son)…

  191. 208

    Well, this probably won’t win …. seriously, I have much love for many of you mamas out there:) …. but it was a funny day {in hindsight, of course}, and one, among many, that stands out.

    The kids were happily playing on a Monday morning-My Wee Man {11mo} was cruising up and down the hallway and my J Girl {4} was changing clothes for the eleventy millionth time-and I was blissfully enjoying my nice steaming cup of liquid crack coffee when I heard the following:
    (Imagine lots of yelling and running and oh nos.)
    “MOMMY!! … unintelligible … Asher … unintelligible … POOP!”
    So I’m up and running and I turn the corner down the hallway and lo and behold …. nekkid Wee Man has pooped, removed his diaper, crawled around on the poop log, ground it into the carpet, smeared it up and down his legs, lost interest in the poop log and is sitting gloriously naked in front of J girl’s dresser leaving poop smears on the carpet.
    A. W. E. S. O.M. E.
    Did I mention that my Charlie Dog has also responded to the siren call and is assessing the situation with me. In a split second, Charlie is next to me EATING THE POOP LOG.
    It was all I could do not to vomit right on top of the poop smears.

  192. 209

    We live in Western NC and decided to go on our first ever family hike. Our kids are 3 and 1.5. The 3 year old was going to walk and I was going to carry the 18 month old on my back in the Moby wrap…except after 5 tries I still couldn’t get it wrapped right. In the process I got sweaty and embarrassed, and banged her head on the car while spinning around to tell my husband I didn’t think I could figure it out.

    We ended up packing everyone up and driving all the way back down the mountain.

    Also, I was carsick.

    Oof.

  193. 210
    Shannon T. says:

    Well, I am a brand new mama. My sweet pea is only 4 months old so those days that you just talked of having are coming down the line. My hardest day looks like heaven I bet to many of you seasoned mothers out there. I think the longest day…you know, the type where you look at the clock just praying it’s close to 5 and that daddy will be on his way home soon so that you can hop in the shower and brush your teeth for the first time that day…that day was one in which she had a blowout diaper, then continued the blowout while I was changing her…not cool. And oh so gross. That happened to be the same day she began her first growth spurt…um, how did I miss the part in the manual that says to basically move in to your bed, equipped with loads of snacks because you will spend the next day or two nursing a baby nonstop who will also absolutely refuse to sleep unless she is literally on you. Then came the literal projectile vomit…dousing all of her, all of me and even my hair…plus half of the couch. I am still trying to figure out how that happened and still praising the Lord it was a one time event. Let’s just say that the shower I took that afternoon was a very long one, in which I promised never to take for granted the glory of hot steaming water that does much in cleansing the body, as well as a soul from a very rough day.

  194. 211

    The other day I was talking to my four old when all of the sudden he projectile vomited all over me and the floor. After cleaning him up, before even getting to myself, he then had another accident from the other end. All I could do was laugh.

  195. 212

    It was a whole week…not just a day. My friend came with 5 of her 6 and I had 4 of my 6 so that was 9 kids. That week I was helping lead the women’s Time Out while the kids were at VBS. In that week:
    – the two youngest boys decided they didn’t like VBS and started walking home down the country road
    – we left behind the two oldest girls because we couldn’t find them anywhere and thought they had already left on their bikes
    – one boy ate salt and barfed it up in the kitchen right beside the ladies time out
    – those 2 boys trashed the neighbour’s quad
    – they lost the keys to the tractor
    – they tried to flood the garage
    – the youngest girl got a deep cut in her hand
    – the baby got his finger caught in the hinge of the van and needed stitches

    and of course my husband was a few provinces away…OY!!

  196. 213

    m

  197. 214

    To be honest this was an excellent advanced article nonetheless as with every excellent authors there are a few points that could be worked well upon. However by no means the actual less it turned out interesting.

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