Five Minute Friday: Last

by | Aug 23, 2013 | Five Minute Friday | 120 comments

Writing is like a mirror, we see ourselves best in what we’ve written. ~{click to tweet}

Every Friday for nearly three years writers have gathered here for a kind of free write flash mob. We all spend five minutes writing on the same topic for just five minutes. And then we link up over here. {This is a bunch of us one time we happened to be together}.

FMF-in-real-life-at-Allume1-640x315

How to Join:

Want to know how Five Minute Friday got started and how to participate? All the details are here. And if you don’t have a blog, you’re very welcome to just leave your five minutes of writing in the comments.

Meet the #FMFParty Writers:

And did you know there’s a whole community of writers that connect online before the prompt goes live on Friday nights? They use the Twitter hashtag #FMFParty and are about the most encouraging group around.

It’s for newbies and old-timers, it’s for the broken-hearted and rejected, it’s for the lost and found. This community who opens wide its arms to everyone as they write, think, dream.

In the words of Tonya,

To me Five Minute Friday is about digging down into the depths of ourselves and coming with vulnerability cupped in our open palms.  An offering that echoes ancient and holy, a communion of life that scales walls and pretenses.  It’s about unveiling wounds and hurts that we have covered for far too long and allowing sisterhood to trace the edges of our pain.  Five Minute Friday is about not agonizing over what people will think of your writing, and more about letting your soul bleed for five minutes flat, pixelated wonder that gives more than receives.

And this week Tonya and Andi and Sarah ended up in the same spot at the same time and got to meet in person. Crazy, beautiful world this Internet:

Five Minute Friday in real life

Four months ago I had no clue about Five Minute Friday. Two of my in real life friends let me in on this goldmine of a community. I’m an all or nothing kind of girl. I knew I wouldn’t be able to sit quietly on the sidelines reading others’ posts and not participate. I jumped in. After neglecting my blog completely last year, and only writing a handful of posts this year, I began to write again. And I found myself among a unique and beautiful community.

This online community is breathtakingly beautiful. But nothing compares to when we are able to step away from the keyboard and hug a living, breathing, God-filled friend. This month God blessed me big time. I was able to meet Sarah. We sat with no screens between us, watching our children play together, and strengthening this friendship God has orchestrated. And if that wasn’t enough for my soul He blessed me again.

I received a notification on Twitter from Tonya. She was at a nearby restaurant. We are about 2 hours and one country border crossing away from each other. And in that moment she was only 10 minutes away. How could that not be a gift from God?! I kissed my sweet family good bye, jumped in the van and impatiently made the 6 mile drive. I parked, walked in, scanned the tables and we locked eyes. She jumped up and we hugged and hugged and hugged. {You guys, she gives awesome hugs!} Happy tears filling our eyes we sat and talked for a good 20 minutes before we hugged again knowing we will see each other soon.

Now, set your timer friends, clear your head, for five minutes of free writing without worrying about getting it right. These are your people. The poets, the mothers, the bloggers, the writers, the pencil and paper artists. Let’s do this.

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community..

OK, are you ready? Please give us your best five minutes on:::

Last…

Untitled

It was the last time I hated being built for children. The last time I felt alone. The last time I wondered about grace and how to make sense of so many dots scattered between South Africa, the States and kingdom come. It was the last time I doubted my own strength to deliver, to push, to labor, to make new life.

The last time I would worry about embarrassment, size, figure, shape, the curve of a hip.

The last time I would be intimidated by Home Depot or the gym or algebra.

The last time I would think my body lame, or useless or too this, that or the other thing.

The last time I would think impossible thoughts about doing the impossible deed. The last time I would be scared of becoming someone’s mother.

The last time, Jackson, was the first time I met you.

Eight years ago today.

Eight years of whispered love notes and crazy hugs, high fives and wild dives off that board at the pool that used to scare you so. Eight years of those glasses and eyes so blue I can almost see myself reflected in them.

Eight years of growing into this mother’s skin and knowing you were the beginning.

Eight years.

And the blink of an eye.

STOP

Don’t have a blog? No worries, feel free to leave your five minutes in the comments. If you’re reading in an email just click here to come and join us.

120 Comments

  1. Casey
    Casey on August 23, 2013 at 12:05 am

    boys are so much fun! My 4 year old came home from preschool today and he had been selected as Superhero of the day. So he and I RAN all over the house like I was a super hero too. IT was a sweet moment! Happy Birthday J!

  6. Fiona
    Fiona on August 23, 2013 at 12:16 am

    Awww lovely. This motherhood business is such a journey and such a lifelong lesson. You’re such a friend to so many through your honesty and openness.

  16. Tara Fairfield
    Tara Fairfield on August 23, 2013 at 12:43 am

    Your writing is always so moving, thank you.

  17. Debi @ DebiStangeland.com
    Debi @ DebiStangeland.com on August 23, 2013 at 12:43 am

    I don’t know if it’s really his birthday today or not but it’s my daughter’s 8th today. What an amazing person I’ve been entrusted with. You too? Happy Birthday Jackson! Happy Birthday Beanie!

    • Lisa-Jo
      Lisa-Jo on August 23, 2013 at 8:05 pm

      Yes yes it IS today – we have birthday twins :)

  22. No Longer Last?
    No Longer Last? on August 23, 2013 at 12:59 am

    Another thought-provoking word! Sometimes the words sting with memories – but God has the LAST word on it – and continues healing!

    http://wp.me/p97XK-5dJ

  29. Karen
    Karen on August 23, 2013 at 1:35 am

    the linky is not working… so I am linking up on finding the grace within

  33. Powermom2000
    Powermom2000 on August 23, 2013 at 1:49 am

    Last “meet the teacher” night forever for elementary school. The last time walking through the green doors in dread or excitement for that first day back at school. This is the last time for this teacher, there’s no little one coming up behind my last, my now-as-tall-as-me daughter. We started our trips to the school as one unit, to get her brother, me pushing the stroller as she slept. Our walks together this year will be the last. No way will she want me close to walking beside for Jr. High.

    • Lisa-Jo
      Lisa-Jo on August 23, 2013 at 8:05 pm

      We LOVE newbies – so much welcome!

  60. denise
    denise on August 23, 2013 at 7:27 am

    beautiful post. my post is up.

  61. Cindy
    Cindy on August 23, 2013 at 7:29 am

    Finally had the guts to write about being a care partner to my father-in-law with Alzheimer’s. Thank you for the five minute push to speak about this journey. Ugh. Like the others, I too was confused as to where to post a link. Oh well, here’s my FMF post
    http://wp.me/p2z0Vt-2uA

  66. Meredith
    Meredith on August 23, 2013 at 8:09 am

    Here is my five — I was able to combine my HelloMornings reflections as well — Thank you Lord! :)

  67. Kelly S.
    Kelly S. on August 23, 2013 at 8:15 am

    Thank you for this: “The last time I would be scared of becoming someone’s mother.” Since getting married a year ago, I’ve thought more often about the actual potential to now have children, and it’s intimidating, honestly; my husband and I are still planning to wait for another year at least, but I hope in the time until I get pregnant, God will help me overcome fear, and during pregnancy, embrace my ability to be someone’s mother.

    Here’s my FMF post: http://backwhenitwasyesterday.blogspot.com/2013/08/last.html

  70. Debby
    Debby on August 23, 2013 at 8:18 am

    The usual linky tool isn’t available this week so here’s my link for the prompt, Last:
    http://wp.me/p1A3ao-1CM

  72. Jamie
    Jamie on August 23, 2013 at 8:20 am

    I love this! Happy Birthday to your Jackson. What a beautiful tribute to becoming a mom and at the same time celebrating your precious boy!

  75. Jessica
    Jessica on August 23, 2013 at 8:25 am

    Beautiful post. You are such a great writer!!

    • Sophia
      Sophia on August 23, 2013 at 9:38 am

      I really liked your post. It reminded me of how my family spent the last days of summer and how we started the new school year.

      Sophia

  86. Angie
    Angie on August 23, 2013 at 9:21 am

    Thank you:-)

  88. Rosita
    Rosita on August 23, 2013 at 9:31 am

    I don’t have a blog so I have never participated before, but given the prompt today, here it goes…

    It is my last day at work. Finally after 8 years (and the current total of 5 children) as a working mom, I am going to stay home with my children. I as super excited and ready for this new adventure. So last 1 hour and 15 minute commute every morning and every night. Last packing lunches for 5 children every morning, last rush home to make sure they are picked up before the day care closes, last day of office politics… And on Monday, I will start a whole new lists of firsts.

    • Sophia
      Sophia on August 23, 2013 at 9:36 am

      Rosita,

      I am so happy for you. It is a wonderful thing to be able to stay at home to teach and nurture your children. You don’t know how much I envy you. I know one day, God will allow me to be with my children full time as He intended. I pray that it is as fulfilling as you hoped.

      Congrats on your last and your firsts.

      Sophia
      twentyfiveseasons.com

  90. Karen
    Karen on August 23, 2013 at 11:22 am

    This was a tough one for me. I cried through most of the writing….but it was a cleansing cry.

    • Rachel
      Rachel on August 23, 2013 at 11:51 am

      Cleansing cries are great for the soul. Praying for whatever has your heart breaking.

  91. Elizabeth Hanna
    Elizabeth Hanna on August 23, 2013 at 11:34 am

    Last…something that will continue on and remain…something that will endure. This is the cry of my soul as I navigate through days of the mundane, the routine, duty, and at times, yes, drudgery. Looking for the meaning in it all…desperately trying to infuse meaning and purpose into the repetitive rhythms of life. I long to do something that will last. Something that will echo beyond me, something that will send ripples into generations that come years and years down the line. Looking for how to make the everyday, routine pieces of my life count for something more. Longing to transform the mundane into the holy…the worshipful…the sacred.

    These are my feelings amidst this move from Edmond to Warr Acres. Amidst 1/2-emptied boxes, my grandma passing away, and a new school year, for many reasons the veil between the present and the eternal seems very thin to me. And I long for the present, the everyday, to intersect with the eternal in the most REAL and profound of ways. So, I do the little things I know to do and pray for God to infuse the dailys of life with His Presence, His interventions, His divine appointments, His surprises — all the things that make life full and rich and exciting and joyful and meaningful and fun!

    There is a scene frozen in my mind from something that happened the other day. While unpacking a wardrobe box of clothes in the girls room, my heart was reaching out to connect with God for the umpteenth time that hour. I need Him constantly. And as I sorted clothes and reached into a bin for yet another hanger, there I saw it. Mysteriously tucked into the box of chaotic hangers. Hangers sitting every which way, of every shape and size. Hangers that represented thing to be sorted out…things to be organized and ordered…the perfect symbol of chaos and the repetitive tedious things that are before me every day. Right in the middle of the box was a book entitled “Practicing the Presence of God.” Although I have never read it (maybe this is a hint that I should? :)), I believe it is about learning to experience God amidst the busyness of life. I believe this is a call I am in the midst of. I have heard that God takes Marthas and makes them into Marys, and He takes Marys and makes them into Marthas. Heres to learning how to keep the heart of Mary in a Martha-shaped life! :)

  92. Rachel
    Rachel on August 23, 2013 at 11:48 am

    Last time I gave of myself completely and lost myself. Last time I wondered if my clothes were pretty enough, my hair the right color, my weight the right size.
    Last time the meals were cooked…just so and his favorite was always on the table. Last time I watched what he wanted and joined in his hobbies. Last time I put my dreams for children on hold because of his problems. Last time I worried it was me and my imperfections.
    Last time I cried alone, with friends, with counselors, with God. Last time I got mad at God for not answering my prayers.
    Last time I was scared to move forward with my life in fear of persecution. Last time I had it all wrong and pushed me aside. Last time was the last time that I will ever allow myself the hurt, pain, loneliness and tears for 10 years all the while, thinking something was wrong with me.

  93. Debra Elliott
    Debra Elliott on August 23, 2013 at 12:28 pm

    This is my first time linking up and I’m so glad I found this meme.

  94. Nicol
    Nicol on August 23, 2013 at 12:46 pm

    Hi LisaJo and all of you others reading- I really resonate with Tonya who said that FMF has prompted her to WRITE again. For ME, FMF KEEPS me posting on my blog. There is SOOO much I want to write about,
    but I get hung up on not being able to write often enough to keep my posts coherent or not having enough time to actually post. I look forward to FMF because I know that every Friday there will be a new subject with which to exercise my writing muscles and LOV will have a post to encourage others. So THANK YOU for this special habit and discipline (who says discipline cannot be fun?) and community.

  96. a spirit of simplicity
    a spirit of simplicity on August 23, 2013 at 3:56 pm

    happy birthday to your son Jackson and happy anniversary to the birth of your motherhood.

    • Wendy
      Wendy on August 23, 2013 at 5:52 pm

      Thank you for that! I posted at your blog as well, but wanted to reply here too. It is a struggle, for me, many times to remember “the last shall be first” even as I try to get our children to be less “me first.”

    • Becky
      Becky on August 23, 2013 at 5:56 pm

      Wow, mama, brain. Gift of your SON not husband.

  99. Wendy
    Wendy on August 23, 2013 at 5:40 pm

    What a beautiful tribute to your son!

    I had a harder time w/ this week’s prompt. It was actually something that I’ve been thinking about for a while now, but, still, it was difficult for me to honestly write about it.

    Anyway, here’s the link… “Some Things Last”

    http://wendytate.wordpress.com/2013/08/23/some-things-last-2/?preview=true&preview_id=43&preview_nonce=206434642d&post_format=standard

    And, just in case, the link doesn’t work…

    LAST

    Last summer, it was sunny and hot. And we swam with cousins and grilled steak and chased lightning bugs in the endless days and nights.

    This summer, it is rainy and cool.

    Last summer, we went to the beach. And collected seashells and ate good seafood and built sandcastles in the salty breeze.

    This summer, we stayed home.

    Last summer, my beach bag stayed packed and ready to go.

    This summer, I have yet to hold my nose, close my eyes, and jump into a pool.

    Last summer, we celebrated the end of the season with a trip to Disney World. And said hi to princesses and ate Mickey bars and skipped happily down Main Street.

    This summer, we are simply changing from summer to fall.

    Last summer.

    This summer…

    “I have learned in whatsoever state I am to be… content.”

    Last summer, it was just a verse I knew. I was busily carefree, laughing in the sun, dancing on the wild mountain of a perfect summer.

    This summer, it is a chant in my soul. I am carefully still, watching the rain fall, rocking in the tame valley of a quiet summer.

    Comparison is the thief of joy… I struggle to remember it as I try to find my contentment.

    My joy.

    Even in our favorite seasons, there are valleys and mountains. From season to season, from year to year… time changes things and circumstances. Our kids grow up while we grow older. Nothings lasts forever, they say.

    We can’t stay in last summer. We can’t stay in yesterday. We can’t even stay in the last minute.

    But, when you’re standing on the mountain, it’s hard to think about the valley. And when you’re standing in the valley, it’s hard to remember the mountain.

    There is no last, only this.

    This moment. This day. This summer.

    I stand in the summer rain and let it fall all around me. Cool and gentle… like a lullaby. Like sweet tears, it cascades softly. And I lift up my head and smile.

    At last…

    At last, during summer’s last song, I find it and realize it’s been there with me all along.

    I found it during a cool evening on our back deck, listening to the cricket’s song while we roasted marshmallows together… I found it on a hot June afternoon, wildly cheering for our older son and daughter on their swim team… I found it during birthday lunches with grandparents… I found it on a July Saturday as we raced around the house, searching for items for a Rainy Day Scavenger Hunt… I found it while digging for dinosaurs in a museum… I found it in our den on a stormy night playing UNO; the sound of our children’s laughter louder than the thunder outside… I found it on a Sunday morning when I saw our 4 year old throw up his little hands in praise during a worship song… I found it while lying in bed with my husband, his strong arms wrapped securely around me, the quiet sanctuary of our home surrounding us.

    There is still joy.

    In this season of this summer, yes, there is joy.

    Maybe not a wild, carefree joy like last time, but a quiet, reflective joy of this time. A joy that, through every season, through every change, lasts and lasts and lasts…

    There is love. There is home. There is grace. There is family. There is still God, who always, always, oversees and guides through all the mountains and valleys of our seasons.

    Some things last.

    • Christina
      Christina on August 23, 2013 at 6:24 pm

      What a lovely reflection. And very captivating. You hooked me from the start to see where you would lead. “Comparison is the thief of joy” I love that…and SO true!

  100. Cynthia
    Cynthia on August 23, 2013 at 6:19 pm

    There is not a FMF posting for #28 (Andrew Eubanks at http://eubanksnewstank.com/) and I find it a little annoying that someone is using FMF to get what amounts to free advertising.

    • Lisa-Jo
      Lisa-Jo on August 23, 2013 at 8:06 pm

      Thanks for the head’s up, Cynthia. I’ll delete it.

  101. Christina
    Christina on August 23, 2013 at 6:21 pm

    My first, but definitely not my…

    LAST

    None of us likes to be last. It makes us feel unwanted, unloved. Not special in some way. It smacks of being left over somehow.

    And yet it is one of the hallmarks of the Christian faith. “For the first shall be last and the last shall be first.”

    Choosing to be last is, in most cases at least, a hard thing to do. We fancy ourselves more important than those who should go after us. But Christ sets the perfect example of what it means to be last. Choosing to be last means choosing to put others before you. It means humbling yourself and seeing yourself as less important than others.

    That is what Christ did from the start. He humbled himself and became like the least of us. Like the last of us. And then He did for us what we could never do for ourselves. And the paradox is that if we want to receive what He accomplished for us, we need to follow his example of humility. We need to become less and realize He is ALL. We need to humbly admit our need and follow Him.

    If He became last for me, I am happy to become last to follow him. How about you?

  103. AJ Collins
    AJ Collins on August 23, 2013 at 8:34 pm

    This is so sweet! I often think about my last pregnancy and look at my 8 year old daughter and wonder where the time went… but I wouldn’t take back a minute! Thanks for hosting this… I look forward to this every week!

  104. Aramelle {One Wheeler's World}
    Aramelle {One Wheeler's World} on August 24, 2013 at 2:16 am

    Hi there! I just discovered your blog tonight and have been engrossed in it. I absolutely love your writing style! I also love the idea behind Five Minute Friday and am joining in for the first time.

  105. Pam McCormick
    Pam McCormick on August 26, 2013 at 10:43 am

    Well it’s Monday…but I just did my Five Minute Friday post. Feeling blessed to be a part of such a inspiring group. :) Here it is –> http://wp.me/p39Wdr-86