30 Jan 2017

How to have a scream free morning routine– for the mom who’s tired of parting with tears and guilt (again)

There’s a morning I wish I could forget.

But the memory is lodged in my mind like a splinter. So I try not to go to near it because it hurts. This painful memory of a painful morning.

That pressure cooker time of day.

That hour and a half when every single child will inevitably want something different to eat, lose a shoe or both socks or suddenly decide none of their underwear fits right.

That time of day when you’re trying to be on time. Just once, for mercy’s sake can we not be the ones pelting out the door as the bus chugs away. Just once can the toddler agree to eat out of the red bowl. Just once can we make it with some semblance of normalcy instead of melting down into temper tantrums and tears and guilt. Oh that terrible guilt.

I would dread the mornings. I would pray and plan and hope they’d be different.

But then I’d wake up and find myself sucked up onto the ridiculous hamster wheel of bickering and snapping and how on EARTH did you manage to lose your sneakers between last night and this morning?!

I survived the mornings. Just barely.

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But then came that day.

We were living in the second rental house in Springfield. The day when the mornings had spun out of control for so long they felt like a haze I’d accepted that I couldn’t seem to fix. Where one kid was a constant battering ram of constant disagreement and I constantly took the bait. He wouldn’t eat what I’d made him. He was rude. Obstinate. Red-faced. And my blood pressure boiled over and so did my snapping at all the other kids too.

We waged war over the stupidest things — those things that are also the most frustrating. Put your socks on! Why didn’t you pack your homework yet? Sit down and eat your breakfast! Stop rolling your eyes at me! Yes you have to go to school! No it’s not my fault that can’t find your spelling sheet!

I waved my arms and made wild statements I didn’t mean and slammed the milk down on the counter and all the cereal bowls shook. And then under all that screaming I heard a quiet noise. It was because it was so quiet that it stood out in my mind. My soft-spoken kid, the one with glasses and my blue eyes. He had his head bowed low over the breakfast counter and tears were quietly trickling down his cheeks. And what he whispered under his breath is burned in my mind.

Why is everyone in this family always yelling at each other?

It hurts to type it. It hurts to remember it.

But for me, that was the moment. That was the point of no return.

That was when I knew something had to change. And that something was me.

It’s been five years since that moment. I’ve learned a lot of things the hard way since then. I’ve said a lot of things I wish I could take back.

I wanted a different story for our mornings.

I wanted to dismantle the disastrous hamster wheel we were trapped on.

I wanted a do-over. I wanted scream-free mornings.

So, slowly slowly I started doing things differently. Things I thought I couldn’t change, we did.

And it’s been the change in our family that I treasure the most. The change I literally comment on every single morning to my kids because I can’t believe that this life in a scream-free house has been possible.

So I packaged up the things that have worked for us. The simple tips that have made a radical, life-giving difference. Take it from a mom who thought yelling was the only thing to get everyone out the door on time.

I want you not just to survive during the crush of the morning rush but to thrive.

So I created a FREE video training (and a printable checklist) with everything that works for us.

It’s called The Scream Free Morning Routine. And I hope it helps you write a different story for your mornings too.

Click here to get free access to The Scream Free Morning Routine.

 

 

Comments

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  1. 1

    I love it when God sends you exactly what you need at exactly the right time! Thank you so much. “Tardy slip purgatory” says it all in our out the door rush. Dealing with my short tempered red headed first grader is exactly like “negotiating with a terrorist” I love the tip about having them have to eat apart from the rest of the family. I can’t wait to have my husband watch this. I appreciate the honest window you share into your own family in order to help other Moms.

    • 2

      Hey there Leli — I’m SO glad this could encourage you and give you some new ideas. Any morning that doesn’t start with tears is a victory in our house!!

  2. 3

    Oh Lisa-Jo, thank you so much for sharing this. How have I not figured this stuff out already?!?! I promise you, I was broken before God yesterday morning after a scream-filled morning and I just knew I needed some help….alas, He answered, like NOW! Thank you Lord for this awesome answer to my crying prayers. I love my children and I hated the screaming and the stress and anguish of getting out the door in the mornings. I’m sorry Lord. This feels like a breath of fresh air. Thank you.

  3. 5
    Marian Hebert says:

    Hi, I’m not the mom I ‘m the Grandmother who takes care of her grandchildren 2x per week. The oldest, who is 4 yrs old granddaughter usually finds a reason to have a meltdown over the breakfast food or choice of clothes to wear, or whatever. The 2 year old grandson usually just listens to all the commotion but now suddenly he’s started to have meltdowns. This behavior happens on other days when these to children act out with their Mom, usually before they go to nursery school for 4 hours. So I’m interested in getting any help that’s available. I haven’t mentioned this website to my daughter yet, as I want to see what your method entails, since you now have obtained success!

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