Ok folks, take a break from your chores, pause your TiVo, set aside your grading or your homework assignment and settle down in your comfy chair with your brain in neutral. Because here are some sure-to-tickle-you-pink, recent gems from our oldest that can only leave you feeling that, despite all evidence that might point to the contrary, life is good and children are great. Ain’t nothing like an excursion into the mind of a (nearly) 4 year old to put everything into perspective.
On reasons to love your dad – “Because he wrestles with me, he tackles me, he plays games with me. I like to ride him.”
On reasons to love your mom – “Because she snuggles me.”
On Diet Mountain Dew – “How much can daddy love that?”
On being interrupted when conversing with his dad, “Shhhh, mama, daddy’s talking to ME.”
On his little bro’s lavish displays of affection, “Mama, make Micah get off and stop kissing me!”
On interrupting mommy’s “alone time” in the bubble bath because he needs to use the facilities (and mind you all this was said in mid pee stream) “How’s your weekend going, mama?”
“ahhhhh, just fine Lil’ Buckaroo, please look where you’re going!”
“that’s good mama, my day has been great!” slams down toilet seat and exits.
On being interrupted and questioned when caught in the act of unrolling vast quanitites of toilet paper and hammering them into shreds, “I’m doing paperwork!”
On interrupting his mother’s bragging to his teacher about how important Biblical heroes like Noah, Jonah, David, and Jonathan are in our house, “And don’t forget the Rescue Heroes, mama!”
On beans, “I just don’ like beans, mama.”
On breakfast, “I want eggs.” So mama makes scrambled eggs. “No! I want pretend eggs!” Mama is stumped until daddy figures it out, “He wants the left over plastic Easter eggs that we haven’t let him open yet!”
On his potty schedule (as told by his teacher), “Lil’ Buckaroo goes number 2 every day at three o’clock.” ummmm, ok.
On his rise and shine habits, “I’M AWAKE!!!” followed by “Bring me my chocolate milkies” (we always give him plain old regular Vitamin D milk, but that doesn’t deter him from always, always asking for chocolate flavored!)
On his arrival into the world, “When I was born I was a little baby and sooo many peoples loved me sooo much!”
On his impending birthday, “I’m gonna have a John Deere cake, right mama? RIGHT???”
On being told that hamburgers are made from beef and that beef comes from cows, “———-LONG SILENT PAUSE——————” followed by “we DON’T eat cows! We eat chicken!” (The folks over at Chick-fil-A would be so pleased!)
And on that note, you can head over to the first installment of The World According to Our Lil’ Buckaroo and enjoy that initial foray into his take on the world around him.