Some days remembering to make myself breakfast is a victory.
Because life can come at you hard and fast in the mornings. And before you know it kids are already out playing in the piles of mulch in the backyard and calling for snacks when mama hasn’t even gotten around to buttering a first slice of toast. From that point on the day can wash over you like a tidal wave and it’s hard to catch breath, look around, plan a way forward.
It can become nothing more than defense all day long.
I’ve been trying to change that. I’ve climbed into this beautiful life boat that my friend Ann recommended. The “Life is Not an Emergency” dinghy. And it bobs happy on the waves and gives me a sense of perspective as I look out over the ocean of to-do’s. Now there is chance for me to steer this day and not simply survive it.
I make tea.
We South Africans turn to this every-day Cape of Good Hope for shelter from the routine. We brew calm and sweeten with sugar, tender with milk and drink in a few deep minutes of peace. Twice a day. In South Africa tea time came at mid morning and late afternoon. And we gathered around it to reconnect, to slow, to remember that we are more than the sum of our work.
I drink from a cup with this reminder written on it, “I have come that they might have life, and have it to the full.” John 10:10. Not full of emergencies. Not full of panic. Not full of frustration. Not full of temper. Not full of rushing from one thing to the next.
What am I filling my life up with today? Even right there at the sink and over the laundry machine; while meeting deadlines and planning new initiatives and especially while picking up the umpteenth piece of lego or stray nerf bullet. What am I filling up on?
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:22-23.
These things do not reside naturally in me. I need someone else to pour them right into my empty self. To fill me up from my toes to my hairline and then let them spill over my head and into this house and the people who live with me. Some days even just one of these fruits poured only as far as my knee caps can make all the difference.
I do not want to live my life like an emergency. I want to savor it like slow brewed tea. Right there, between last night’s potty training accident and this morning’s magic markers on the walls.
Thank you. I so needed this today. I feel like I can breathe a bit better now :)
I was really hit by Ann’s “Manifesto for Joyful Parenting.” I have emergencies CONSTANTLY. Can’t find this, can’t find that, we’re late, where are the keys, baby just pooped . . .
I read that Manifesto and the part that said there are no emergencies and hurrying is for amateurs and it was like SERIOUSLY! I am not an amateur! I’ve been a mom for eight years– time to quit with the crises! LOL. So now I tell my kids to get ready WAY before it’s time. And just that has made such a huge difference. And when there is a real emergency– like my toddler falling off the stairs like she did this morning– I’m way more able to deal with it.
Thanks for the reminder. :)
And this is why I’m glad that I choose to visit you, Ann & others in the morning because you always point me in the right direction. :) Praying for you this morning, that God blesses you with moments of peace and rest.
Oh, yes. To be filled every moment of every day with Him makes all the difference. I cannot mother these children. He has to do it through me.
Lovely post.
Thanks for reminding me that I cannot fill myself – I need Someone to pour those qualities into me each and every moment.
In Holland they too have the custom of tea at about 3 or 4pm every day. It is such a calming and rejuvenating custom at the point in the afternoon when I am most tired and ready to pull my hair out. We got out of the custom during the hectic summer months but it may be time to re-instate.
Thanks for the reminder that it is the Spirit flowing through me, not me by myself.
It’s one of my favorite things about being home – how the whole family gathers around the tea table in the afternoons. A slice of bliss every day.
This is timely for me. This morning, before getting out of bed, I prayed for this very thing. I prayed to be filled with the same fruit you write about, especially patience and gentleness, for they don’t come naturally to me either. I need His supernatural intervention if I am to find them through the day.
“Not full of emergencies. Not full of panic. Not full of frustration. Not full of temper. Not full of rushing from one thing to the next.”
Oh my. My life has been so full of emergencies lately… not real ones, ones made from my own lack of planning and forethought. Great post, Lisa-Jo. Thanks for the encouragement.
Yes, as every mama knows – each day has room enough for an emergency an hour :) We’re trying to cut back :)
Thank you, Lisa-Jo. Thank you for your words. Thank you for your mama hugs that make me feel safe and warm. Thank you for pouring out non-emergency love on me. Thank you for pouring out His love.
-Hilary
I think you are God’s special gift to me as I prepare my heart for a daughter! xoxo
Your daughter will be so well loved – from her brothers to Pete to you. She will grow up in an ocean of love, which is to this day the best metaphor I know to describe my family. I live in the ocean of their love. I can’t say it enough – you remind me so much of my mom (and she is the best mom to girls I have ever known!) – and I can’t wait to meet you two when you are your own mom-daughter pair!
This is so good. I went to bed last night thinking that I’ve got to have a better parenting day today and this is the perfect reminder for me to do just that. I’m sitting firm in the “Life Is Not An Emergency” dinghy today too – thanks for this!!
It’s a snug little boat, isn’t it? The more the merrier!
Your post reminded me of the cup you gave me for my birthday in Kiev. Because I didn´t have one at work and was always looking for the nicest of the ones they had there. I still have it.. and don´t like it when other people use it.. ´cause it´s my special Kiev mug. For when I´m feeling like I really need a quiet cup of tea. Hope you are all well! Veel liefs van Annelies
Dankje Wel! It’s so fun to see your name pop up here – and I tell you what, I’d give a lot for a pack of those amazing Dutch cookies/biscuits/wafers – what *were* they called(!) to go with my tea!!
hmm.. STROOPWAFELS! I remember Jeff wouldn´t let me back in the office if I didn´t bring a pack from home!
If you give me your address.. I will send you some for Christmas??
I, too, have been savoring Ann’s “life is not an emergency” philosophy. I think of all the times I’ve hurried my kids out the door, “C’mon, we’re late! Where’s your shoes? Why didn’t you use the bathroom already? Why are you bringing that in the car?” I think someone listening on the outside might wonder if the house was on fire or we were off to the ER by my rapid fire tone. I need to s-l-o-w down (plan better!) and be in thriving rather than surviving mode! When this happens, we can all relax.
Love, love, love this, Lisa Jo!
You have such a way with words…and this post, had such a calming effect on me…as I head out the door to pick up my boisterous almost 6 yr. old from school, I’m breathing a bit slower & looking forward to our shared snack this afternoon…you know I’ll be having a nice, relaxing cup of tea! LOVE YOUR POSTS, Lisa Jo!!
love those verses, I’ve been mulling over many of the same things ’round my parts these past few weeks… :)
~h
your post also reminded me of one of my favorite quotes…
“To live content with small means;
to seek elegance rather than luxury,
and refinement rather than fashion;
to be worthy, not respectable;
and wealthy, not rich;
to study hard,
think quietly,
talk gently,
act frankly…
to listen to stars and buds,
to babes and sages,
with open heart;
await occasions,
hurry never…
this is my symphony. ”
~William Henry Channing~
Hello!! I haven’t commented in awhile, but I’ve been reading. :) I love this post, Lisa Jo. It makes me want to curl up on the couch with a cuppa while Brennan naps. I read the “Joy of Parenting” list recently and printed it out yesterday. It sits on my fridge. I needed your post to give me an example of not living life as if it were an emergency…I obviously don’t get that point very naturally. The other one I’m really working on is drawing near to my child when his actions repulse me. Even today, I’ve noticed a difference with it. Love to you!!
Sounds like we’ve all been working on the same things – maybe that’s just the age long journey of motherhood? And it’s comforting to know that we don’t walk it alone. (Fun to see your face pop up here again :))
Oh, you wrote this from my house, I suppose…until we got to the tea;) though I think I will have a cup…such a blessing, you are…I keep saying, “I don’t mind hearing the same thing 1000 times if it’s THE THING I need to hear…” maybe it should be 10,000 times this Advent…it’s like my heart keeps looking to be re-assured that yes, this is it and I roam until I keep finding it. This. You. Be blessed:)
Thank you, Lisa-Jo. God has been teaching me about taking deep breaths, too. Sometimes I’m taking so many that I feel I might hyperventilate, but I’m trying nonetheless. The world is full of too many real emergencies for me to lose perspective on my own blessings.
I know this isn’t the point of your sublime post. But I have to thank you for mentioning tea – with sugar – and milk.
America is so coffee driven. I feel like an outcast sometimes with my tea, sugar, and milk. People stare at me in horror when they see me pour the milk into the tea, like I’m drowning kittens or something. Seriously!
Anyway this was a particular blessing today. To know I’m in good company. I bet you never thought someone would grab onto THAT part of THIS post.
And as for the sublime part. Today I’ll be letting life simmer – slow – even – peaceful – in chaos or in calm – thank you Lisa-Jo.
I am reading this during my tea time. I’m happy to have had tea with you today, my dear!
Let’s have some more this weekend, eh? :)
This was a perfect read for me today after my long night with a sick kiddo. I completely relate to you. Your post reminded me of one I had written quite a while back about how life has a way of taking over…or over taking us. Here’s a link to the post if you are interested: http://springfieldmillers.blogspot.com/2009/10/100-human.html
Thank you so much for sharing this today. Bless you and your family. I am grateful for the reminder that life does not have to be treated like an emergency all the time.
Yes, yes, yes! It took cancer to teach me this…and a wise tea drinking friend has imparted such joy to my life since I had to give up coffee! Thank you for sharing this wisdom…and kudos to you for figuring it out without an emergency to teach you.
In His grip,
Genevieve
Oh goodness, Genevieve, I don’t think I can take that kind of credit. We’ve hurdled our share of emergencies, both real and potty training related :) and I am a sloooowwww learner. But I am discovering how much is out of my control and how much it helps to recognize that and savor regardless.
Thank you for sharing – and I would totally treat you to some tea if I could! :)
Hi Lisa-Jo,
We have to be out our flat on sat, but boxes shipped to SA on fri… To do list is endless and everything is urgent!!! Reality of it is: I can’t do it…I’m on the couch breastfeeding Sophie most of the day – just enough time to shower or make lunch. Hard not to stress and so your post really encouraged me.
I hope your little one is growing and keeping well,
Love Bron
Oh Cuz! I know that feeling so painfully well. It will all get done. It will. And in the meantime, “have breast milk, will travel” does cut down on one thing you need to remember to pack :)
Love to you and Sophie from me and the bump!
I needed this today. God has been speaking to me from the pulpit through our pastor the past…month of Sundays. Telling me that I need to stop being impatient and not let myself be overwhelmed with that sin of impatience and let the Holy Spirit take control in order to rid myself of that. And just being perfect in Christ, being that holy woman that is different, holy, one of His. Not that impatient mom that screams at her kids and thinks it’s miraculous that she doesn’t have laryngitis. And then your post. I don’t get on Twitter often but I’ve been up…thinking about my older son (he hasn’t been officially diagnosed but they’re pretty sure he’s on the autism spectrum) and it’s just hard. And I know I’ve been stressed…about the past 6 months (waiting for the evaluation)…I’m just tired and I feel stressed all the time; like I’m living in an emergency. So thank you….after all that babble that I’m sure was TMI, thank you.
Beautiful. Thank you for this gift.
Great reminder! Wish I could convince the people at work of this idea!
tea time is something that i so miss about home as well. there is nothing quite so calming or reflective. loved this post. thanks for the reminders, i really needed to hear them today :)
Loved this reminder to not sacrifice the “important’ for the “urgent”. And while it seems like getting the toddler dressed before 10 or fixing the little boy something to eat besides cereal by lunch is urgent, maybe it’s not nearly as important as
being.
with Jesus.
centered.
Loved this reminder.
Merry Christmas, friend.