It’s an itch.
That desperate need to keep desperately checking email, twitter, Facebook.
And if there’s no new news, I can scratch myself raw with all the clicking over and looking and wondering why no one’s noticing.
It’s the itch that gets no real satisfaction through scratching.
Because if the inbox is full, my heart feels heavy and can dread wading through it. But if the inbox is empty the heart whines and a voice whispers, “no one cares today.”
It irritates me that I listen.
But there are things I can do to listen less. If I can stop scratching long enough to remember.
The loud boys help. They are so obviously oblivious to anything that might happen inside the world of my computer. They pull me out into the riot of leaves and laughter happening just outside the window. There we find mud and it is grand. Even when I am still finding it hours later on the carpet.
The baby girl curls her new nails, no less sharp for their age, into my cheeks and grins all gums and delight at me. She has my eyes. I don’t know where she got the dimples. They wink cheeky at me.
Between a twice toasted cinnamon raisin bagel and cup of hot chocolate I flip pages looking for wisdom. Instead I find laughter at myself and at the ridiculous rash of self that we have been duped into romanticizing:
How many blog hits I got this week compared to last, compared to last year. How many retweets? How many likes on Facebook. The itch can make you crazy. Comparing in a riot of wheels within hamster wheels how readership has grown or platforms teeter-tottered ever wider and higher.
Instead, best not forget how to laugh at yourself and enjoy the company and conversation of comments for what they really are – people with stories as thick and dog-eared as your own.
Turns out I have been foolish and forgotten what every mother knows – scratching will leave scars and the only way through the itch is to resist.
To resist and treat with the only balm that can soothe the restless quest for clicks:
This. This I must follow.
::
{Top photo credit: Emily Freeman}
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Very well said! Social media is taking over personal interaction and human touch. Sad..we must not allow it.
I have read so much today on social media, heard so many people talking about it. Your post touched me the most. I too struggle with the affirmation of comments and clicks and retweets. Thank you for the reminder of what, Who, is most important.
I love you, Gypsy mama.
I struggle with this daily, especially because we have an i-pad and it lives in the kitchen. How many times a day do my kids have to get my attention while I am reading something else on-line? I don’t want them to see me always glued to the screen. I don’t want them to remember me always being distracted by something else. Something I need to work on…..
By the way, I am LOVING the posts where you write about your beautiful baby girl. My fourth child is just a bit younger than your daughter. Your words often convey the same feelings that I have for my sweet little girl, I just can’t write those words a beautifully as you do.
Daughters – I had no idea I’d fall this hard for her!
Amen
Social media can mess with the mind. :)
This. This is exactly what I’ve been feeling, too. Only (of course) you captured it with words. :)
And I swear I just left this comment on your blog the other day but it reminds me of a song—that has turned into a prayer for me, “If it’s YOU that’s getting bigger, I don’t mind being small.”
ps–beyond {BEYOND!} excited to see you one week from today!
Me too! and yes, that song – I need to keep it on repeat here. Also, I’m on a panel at Relevant speaking about social media – ironic much? But not, I think it also has the power for great and wonderful good. Just balance and all that jazz….. {must go write that presentation now…}
Absolutely gorgeous post! I needed to read this right now. Thank you for the encouragement. x
This is so true…one more check, one more refresh…obsession with numbers and “likes”. What does it really matter? It’s my blue-eyed gifts that surround me with kisses that are the “followers” that really matter.
A to the men :)
*sigh* and some days I itch it raw. I love my cyber friends, but life swirls by if my head is buried inside this computer.
A very important thing you wrote here, and which needs to be heard.
On the other hand, some very deep and profound friendships can be formed over the internet, which I never could have imagined until it happened to me.
But you are writing more about addiction to cyber-relationships, and also forming an opinion on oneself based on how many e-mails you receive or how many people contact you on facebook or Twitter. And I agree that this can be a minefield.
I have to say that the photo of your baby girl is magnificent! What an exquisite face!
Thanks Janet. And I so heartily agree about the gifts of friendship that are real and seeded on line. I have many of those and they are a treasure. And I also love what social media can be and do when used for good and in moderation. So we’re often walking the balance beam and figuring out what parts of it are good for us and what aren’t. And some days I find that easier than others.
Isn’t it funny how we all begin to feel these things simultaneously? The feeling of addiction to this social media thing began right before the global changes that FB made recently.
The inconvience of the changes has made it easier to stay away … God makes a way, doesn’t he.
So I thank you for your beautiful view of the more important things in our day to day.
Blessings,
Andrea
Lisa-Jo,
Yes, I check email way too often. But I get emails all day long from my kids with laptops at school (teens), and they always want me to bring them something they forgot – mostly for practices and games. I’m such an enabler – but I don’t want them to be benched – oh well. I probably won’t stop bringing them things, but I’ll complain about it endlessly!
Wait til your beautiful baby girl trades her Barbie dress and shoes that go clack-clack down the stairs for a shimmery, form-fitting Homecoming dress and 3 inch heels. You’ll remember the anticipation and excitement YOU felt in high school, and you’ll wonder at this beautiful young lady she has become in the blink of an eye. Perfectly smooth tanned skin, a perfect smile that lights up the room, and still innocent. What a perfect age! But then again, all their stages are perfect.
Oh Cathy – you paint the picture so well I can almost see her. My heart cracks already :)
Amen…I am new to this blog world…the rash has started…thanks for the ointment to stop it from spreading….
Blessings~
Thank you for this post. I do think there is wonderful good in social media somewhere but it can be soul-exhausting. Indeed, where is the balance?
I love this post. You have blogged for awhile and have an amazing following. I feel called to write and wait on His timing to see subscriptions grow and if this calling is for many or for few. I contemplated this recently and realized that Jesus moved with a small circle Himself. . Who on earth am I to feel I need more than the 20? Why do I feel down when I see only 10 views? That is 10 people. 10 souls. It put everything into perspective. And I know that He is preparing me. I must let go and let God move to reach the many or the few. But yes, even as a small blogger, the temptation gets me often and I dwell on what is not important. I am printing this beautiful post as a reminder.
Yes every wonderful person who spends their time to read our words is a gift and a friend and someone to be treasured way way beyond page views.
This is a great post and reminder. My husband takes my computer to work outside the home occasionally and it feels like someone has cut off my arm! The “itch” to check what happens in the cyber-world is so very real, isn’t it? But then, gloriously, I find I return to people, conversation and interaction with life, without it – so not altogether a bad thing when my arm gets cut off! Thank you for this beautifully written reminder.
So even you worry about who is noticing? Wow. I would have never guessed. I suppose we all fall victim to it. <3
Oh girl, it’s the age old temptation isn’t it? To wonder if there isn’t something better over there – something someone else has. And it’s embarrassing to admit and feels silly to say out loud. But it’s true and I wrestle and some days I win and some days I don’t. And it wouldn’t be honest not to admit that. On those days a husband who listens and laughs with me and kids who bring me gifts of mud can make all the difference :)
Wow. It’s like you read my mind this morning. On my way into the office after dropping off my precious little kindergartener at her school and her giggle-filled toddler brother at his babysitter’s house, I was thinking that I have to stop thinking about every little event that I have lived through. And I don’t mean the good times, or the bad necessarily. I just mean that I feel like I’m forever hashing over every moment that I have lived and reworking in my mind how I could have lived those moments better. It’s just like the social media itch. I can’t seem to stop either of those itches from scarring. Better to live in the now and set limits on things that can become scars! Thanks for your words. Your posts are inspiring.
We talked about this last night at youth group, and I have been thinking long on it. How God is a jealous God, and anything that sits in His place make Him jealous. The speaker gave an analogy of marriage, and how would we feel about being married during the week, but our spouse has the weekends off to date if he’d like? Well, that made me think. I can see how social media is an idol, and our God is a jealous God.
Thanks for reflecting on it.
Yes. Yes. YES.
Ugh. Yes.
Thank you.
He must become greater; I must become less.
~John 3:30
This verse is a jewel / always a reminder to me that what matters most is if God is being made famous through my life.
I also have the itch to see if people respond… I want to be connected and know my life counts for Him.
I love your post today… yesterday, I could have written it word for word … it is like my heart sitting there on the paper before me and I so wanted to share every bit of what God was showing me. You have done it instead and very eloquently… I am so happy !
Gypsy mama, your words bring me encouragement and a desire to walk humbly and joyously with our God… that is a good thing!
May we make God famous!
enjoy your tweets… do it for Him who loved us and gave Himself up freely, to win us into His family!
I found this on ‘Finding Heaven’ (Oct 17 post) and thought it was great…http://findingheaventoday.blogspot.com/2011/10/soli-deo-gloria-thoughts-party.html
I used to think that the purpose of linking up with another blog was so that I could receive something — more comments, more followers, higher stats. But God has shown me, instead, that linking up is an opportunity to give first. When I link my post, I want to people to be encouraged, to know that they aren’t the only ones is a bad place or a good place or a whatever place. I want my posts to be a reflection of what God is doing in my life — hard or easy. It is my way of saying, “Here I am. Walk with me.” It’s me extending a hand, reaching out. One never knows the life that can be changed with His Holy Spirit speaking through these keyboards. We cannot limit our voice or limit where our voice may be heard just because of the number of comments we have received. Even if only one person reads your post, that one person could be forever changed.
Thank you for these beautiful words. What a contagious, rashy itch it is, in this technology-crazed world, to scratch out a name for ourselves, to wait and wonder and stake all our value in what is ultimately meaningless. The connections here, the relationships in our homes, how our heart is reflecting Jesus… that’s what matters. Thanks for the reminder. <3
Oh, life is so full of these messy, beautiful tensions! Thanks for this timely reminder. I’ve been both amazed and a little overwhelmed at all the social networking going on in preparation for Relevant. Thanks for the exhortation to keep my heart fixed on what’s important, to let go of comparison, to release insecurities, to trust. Much, much appreciated.
Thank you for this. It is a fine line, isn’t it? I am finding it difficult to DRAW THE LINE. And mostly because I don’t have little ones at home anymore who tear me away. But even then, I know that there are things that I could be doing, should be doing..but clearly I am not. Right now, the clicks are all I have. Secluded in the country, hours away from my family and friends….I am alone except for Jesus and the ‘net. Time for me to get more serious about the Jesus relationship. :)
You know, I stopped paying attention to my stats completely after Relevant last year. While I do tend to become itchy about certain things related to Social Media {I think anyone who dabbles in SM does to some degree}, it has brought me tremendous freedom. :)
Agreed. Leaving the stats giant slumbering is something that helps me a lot too.
I need to stop looking at my stats. It is almost addicting. My sister in law gave me good advice…before getting on the computer, read your Bible. :)
Wonderful post! I struggle with this daily, and am usually left disappointed. I’m nowhere near as famous/popular as other bloggers, but there are days I’m blue because a post didn’t get any comments. Between email, blogs, and facebook I waste too much time (fortunately I tried twitter and did not “get it”).
Oh, doesn’t John 3:30 just sum it all up so perfectly?!?!?
I think that you have been a fly on the wall of my home AND my heart. Thank you for reminding me what is really important.
This is the best blog post about social media that I’ve ever read. God bless you – He certainly blessed me through your post!
Here’s the deal…I know this now because our vision is always 20/20 looking backwards: whatever takes you away mentally from focusing on your little ones, look very hard at it….it’s not what matters. Social media will always be there waiting…your little ones won’t be. And one can never, ever get those precious days back. Take it from someone who knows….
Thank you, thank you, thank you. God bless you. xx
Oh WOW, I spent way too much time on the computer today… like maybe if I check one more time, someone will have commented on my pathetic attempt at a post. Or maybe, just maybe, someone will finally by a notecard from my online shop and I can feel some worth in my work, or maybe someone on twitter will be reaching out to me without me having to say something witty first. or maybe a friend on facebook will be popping in to say hi or encourage me.
You got me where I needed to be gotten! Kids had off from school today… and tomorrow! We did fall cut outs today (but I was easily frustrated with them) and the plan is to frost them tomorrow! Maybe I can do it without the distraction of social media (after Five Minute Friday, of course)! I need this reminder every single day!
Amen to all you say above. Some of my very best days are away from everything electronic… why don’t I do that more often?! The itch, oh the itch…
For me it comes down to balance. Keeping Him first, family second, others–in real life and online–after that… easier said than done, but reminders like your post above help keep my focus where it needs to be. Thanks for that.
Insert SIGH here!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so tired of scratching. However, I have realized the itch will not go away, so I have to FORCE myself to STOP!!!!
Know this, today don’t scratch, because I am def. retweeting, google+, etc. Then, I am putting away the computer and the phone for the next several hours :)
I don’t want my kids to remember me as a face partially obscured by a glowing silver screen. How sad would that be? Yikes! An excellent reminder and challenge for me, right now, as I am in the beginning stages of growing a blog. Like my university prof always said, “it’s all about balance”…
SO, SO good!!!!!! Thank you!!!! Thank you for kicking me in the face with truth! ;)
Oh, you just crawled inside my head, I see! How did you do that?! :-)
Amen and Amen! Loved the way you said it!
I needed this today. So, after a quick share of this post, I’m heading … outside … away from this keyboard … somewhere to experience life in Life. ; )
Love the pics!
Building on
John 3:30 He must becsome greater; I must become less.
Building on
John 3:30 He must becsome greater; I must become less.
I recently learned the motto of a friend of mine, while following her blog as she recovers from brain surgery. It is based off of John 3:30 and is so simple, yet so incredibly powerful.
HE>i
He is greater than I.
Thanks for the great blog!