I have a daughter.
It’s changed everything. My gorgeous, rough and tumble boys – I love them as hard as they love all things mud, dirt and mortal combat. But raising a girl – I ache to give her a head start in this Pinterest-perfect, photo shopped world.
I won’t get it perfect, but dang if I’m not going to give it a wild and wonderful go.
100 Things I Want to Teach My Daughter
- Beauty is a state of mind, not a state of body.
- The benefit of the doubt is sometimes the best gift we can give our friends.
- There will always be mean girls – that doesn’t mean we find a tower and Rapunzel ourselves away from the world.
- Your daddy has loved you better and longer than any boy ever will.
- Your brothers will teach you how boys should treat you.
- You’re always welcome in my wardrobe.
- The world needs your point of view.
- Food is a joy.
- Your body is strong and capable of more than you can imagine right now.
-
Ice cream is a love language.
- Cook, decorate, clean, organize because you love to, not because someone tells you you’re meant to.
- Music makes everything better.
- Dance – especially when you’re doing the laundry.
- You’ll never be too old for me to rock you.
- Nothing you tell me will ever make me want to stop hearing from you.
- We need your story.
- No prayer request is ever too small, too silly or too embarrassing to share.
- Washing your face every night is the best kind of beauty routine.
- Sunscreen – you got my British genes.
-
Mr. Darcy and popcorn make for a perfect evening.
- Blue eyes really do melt hearts.
- Betty Crocker’s chocolate fudge is the best in the world.
- A good movie can change how you understand someone else.
- Words can build bridges between people.
- Home is not where we live but who we love.
- Gumboot dancing.
- Your name means “life” and you’ve lived up to every letter.
- Mom guilt is for the birds.
- You taught me how to feel beautiful.
-
Staying up late to read a good book is never time wasted.
- Good girls aren’t boring.
- A great mascara
is always worth the investment.
- 4pm high tea is one of the best parts of being part South African.
- The “mommy wars” are a myth; we’re all in this together.
- The best way never to worry about anyone gossiping about you is never to gossip about anybody.
- Saying sorry first is a sign of strength not a weakness.
- I’m on your side; especially on the days when it doesn’t feel like it.
- Your body is yours. A delicious gift to be shared with your husband. I promise it’s worth waiting to unwrap together.
- Sex for the first time will require a beautiful sense of humor and a partner who’s in it for life.
-
The movies lie. Passion isn’t a contorted exercise on a marble staircase, it’s doing the dishes together and lying with your feet touching in bed at the end of a long day.
- Marriage is an act of courage, commitment and sacrifice. It’s also the most fun you’ll ever have with your best friend.
- The best love stories are often boring and don’t end with a mad dash through the airport.
- Always fight fair. But don’t be afraid to fight.
- Long hair requires a really good conditioner.
- God says He has made all things beautiful – that includes you, my love – no matter how you feel about your body
- Fashion is not my forte; I look forward to learning from you.
- I love the curves you and your brothers added to my body.
- A good cry
is great therapy.
- Bad hair days are inevitable.
-
A strong man is never threatened by a strong woman.
- Go big even if it means failing big. Especially then.
- Be the friend you wish you had.
- Travel.
- You can’t control what others think about you. Let it go.
- A first kiss should be toasted, treasured, savored.
- I will be your best friend. But I will be your mother more.
- Your dad will teach you about music. He has the best eclectic taste.
- You can’t go wrong with Christa Wells
- Stop for sunsets.
-
Prince Charming isn’t a fairytale, he’s a myth
- Daughters teach us about our mothers. You gave me back my mom.
- Jesus loves you for you. Not for your ability to bear children.
- Husbands need a wife. Not another mom.
- It’s true what they say about childbirth and then some.
- Love waits.
- Patience is never wasted.
- Don’t just Instagram your life. Live it.
- Dad will be the one helping you with math homework.
- Don’t be afraid of a broken heart.
-
The only thing holding you back from making a difference in the world will be yourself.
- South African pancakes are better than American ones.
- Girlfriends are the best kind of free therapy there is.
- Don’t be afraid to be foolish.
- Real life is always better than online.
- A good friend loves at all times. Period.
- Read everything written by Madeleine L’Engle
.
- Eating too much nerds candy
- I’m more interested in your growth than your happiness.
- I will earthquake wide open when you hurt. And I will always come when you call.
-
If it makes you feel uncomfortable, don’t do it, wear it or say it.
- Challenge yourself.
- Walk across the Charles Bridge in Prague.
- Learn at least one other language.
- Cross-cultural marriage is much harder than you can ever imagine when you first fall in love. But worth it.
- Homesickness never gets easier.
- But Dramamine is the perfect cure for motion sickness on 18 hour flights.
- We need each other.
- Bad haircuts grow out eventually.
- You will love again.
-
The painful truth is always easier than a messy lie.
- Jesus loves you, this I know. In my heart, my bones, my soul.
- There’s no such thing as perfect.
- You can always come home.
- Nothing will make me love you less.
- Nothing will make me love you more.
- The mirror is not the boss of you.
- You’re the most brave when you’re the most scared and keep going anyway.
- Womanhood is a gift.
- I’m never tired of being your mother.
- You will always be my baby girl.
Go ahead, pass it on – encourage another mom! But kindly don’t re-post this entire list, just share a few bullets and then link back over here. Thank you. Brave, wonderful, you.
{A few Amazon affiliate links included to some of my most favorites in this list.}
You never cease to amaze me with your ability to write so much meaning into bulleted lists.
That was great. My oldest daughter is 8 1/2 and I have alot of things to teach her but mostly it gets taught in the day to day living of life. Nice to know we have some time to do it.
Just Wow… and so much yes, my friend! (Thinking this will be read aloud at bedtime with my nearly grown girlie snuggled in close… even college girlies sometimes want bedtime stories and sleepy prayers!) #Swoon!
yep. God knew I needed to read this as I cry for my daughter tonight. She’s been bullied by another girl…she trusted and she hurts. I think I hurt more as I remember. And I don’t even have the words I’m so angry. I want to wrap her in bubble wrap. Thank you for reminders that He sees.
This makes me so sad. My girls are both under two, and I’ve already imagined how badly my heart will hurt when another child makes one of them feel bad about their self. Prayers for you and your baby. Remind her that the weekend is close. Take her for ice cream. And tell her that life will not always be as critical as it seems to be while in school.
well, my experience, unfortunately, is that many adult women still act like it’s high school with their cliques at church. It doesn’t always get easier, but I want her to live a life of integrity. We have few friends and many trust issues due to my being bullied in school. This was a main reason for our choice to homeschool. It doesn’t help that the bully goes to church. We discussed how church attendance doesn’t make one a Christian. I just want to snuggle her and protect her. I don’t want her to grow up and away. I want to be a mama bear.
So much to love here. Namely, YOU!
I love, love, LOVE number 91!
Great list!
Lisa Jo – Awesomeness . . . As always, you emulate all that I feel in your words. I can’t tell you how perfect your “list” is! My daughters are 24, 21 and 11! It has not been an easy road, and I have failed my daughters more times than I care to admit, but I have always loved them more than the air I breathe . . . I have always wanted more for them, yet the more is nothing but a heart filled with love, contentment and the desire to share it . . .Yes, “A daughter changes everything . . .” Thank you for sharing your wonderful gifts!! I feel so blessed to have found you and all you share with us! ❤
jean
MY favorite: ice cream is a love language.
What a precious list. Here are my extra three:
101. Talking is better than texting – for almost everything that matters.
102. You’re going to share eternity with that frustrating person at church so it’s worth practicing loving them now.
103. It’s ok to love shoes. A lot.
Love your lists!!
#39 is by far my favorite… though I disagree a bit on #80 — but perhaps that’s simply because I see “uncomfortable” as the same as nervous, and most often God calls us to do things that make us nervous, push us out of our comfort zone and require a huge leap of faith through that discomfort! :)
I just love this! I am not yet a mom, but if I were these are the types of things I would want to say too. I deeply feel that the way we shape children (even as a society as a whole) is so important. You had so many empowering things to say here and also realistic things that ring true. What a beautiful gift you give your daughter by raising her up this way. It is so important for we women to feel beautiful and powerful, and have a healthy self love. I think that is exactly what this list will do :)
YES… ice cream is a love language… and Mr Darcy is the perfect evening! Being British, I also suffer from the British skin… sunscreen is a must! On a serious note though, this is beautiful, witty and heartfelt… ‘I will be your best friend. But I will be your mother more.’ I think I am going to start writing my own list for my daughter. I will be linking to this post in my ‘Weekend Reads’ over on my blog – definitely the best post I’ve read this week!
I do not have daughters…3 sons and I can totally translate these to our life. Absolutely LOVE #56! So many moms today forget that our first priority is to be their mom! Thanks for sharing your heart!
Is it okay if I’m a Dad and I want my daughter to know the same things? Well, I probably won’t get my fashion from her, but you get my point. :)
Unbelievable post! Loved reading it.
Great post! I think I coulda written most of those! Oh, yes! I coulda written Most of these! EXCEPT the part about ” you are always welcome in my wardrobe”…..Uh….no…..they Never put em Back! And they forget that they were washed and IRONED!!!!!! before they took them out! Ohmmmmmmm…..Your daughter is only 2. You’ll change that one eventually!
Oh my gosh…several of those seem to have been written for my daughter and I. Her name is Eva from the Greek name “Eve” which means “life”. I intentionally named her that knowing the new life that I would have with her as my daughter, and first born.
Thank you for this list, it helps to know their are moms like you writing truth.
What I want to know is how long it took you to come up with this list?
That’s love!
Tearfully smiling as I read your list…so much beauty and so much truth!!!
Your daughter is just as blessed to have you as you are to have her…a mom who’s honest and open and always there, and on your side (even if she’s not agreeing with you), is the very best gift!!
Great list. I will share with my daughters. My oldest is raising 3 girls so I am sure she will love it. One of my favorites: read everything by Madeleine L’Engle. I have read almost everything she has written and consider her my favorite author.
Have a blessed day.
Classic.
Thanks Lisa. What a wonderful list. I have 7 daughters ranging in age from 6 to 26! I would love to share this with them!
“I have a daughter. It’s changed everything.” I feel exactly the same way. After my son, who changed it all for me, she came along and she changed it all, all over again. Thanks for the list. I almost got a law degree and I pine about it sometimes. But after reading that you have one and it still does not define you as much as being a mom, I will try to pine no more. :)
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Lisa-Jo,
I am a father of three beautiful and good, good girls that God bestowed on me and their mother. Their mother and I were together almost 15 years. My daughters are 16, 13 and 6. It is with a heavy, heavy heart that I ask for your prayers and advice, not for myself or estranged wife, but for my three daughters, Alexis, Cassidy and Angelina.
How do I break the generational cycle of depression, and lack of self worth and knowing real love, that both their mother and I have suffered. We tried, very, very hard at first to love and support and raise our girls properly, never realizing how quickly love or even commitment would flee from our marriage, if we did not put God first, with our marriage and children under that covenant we took, and then, took so lightly. I so, so want my daughters to be strong, yet loving, caring, but not foolsih, hardworking, but not enslaved by materialism, and so many, many other things that make the difference between a loving person, mother, and wife like you are to yours and even us strangers.
Their mother has left me with them, almost two years now, and my business, finances, emotions and relationship with my daughters is on a downward spiral, I JUST CANT SEEM TO STOP. Their mother is living three blocks down the road with her boyfirend, while we are still married, and does not realize the example she AND I have, and continue to demonstrate to our girls. Please help if you can. I have lost so much and do not want my daughters to lose their future, before they ever had a chance. sadly, this is what seems to be happening in record numbers to so many families. I have looked and reached out everywhere, church, counselors, community, neighbors and don’t know how I can give these precious girls what they need, the time they need, and provide financially, with the time I have left over, after making sure they are fed, and clean, and laundry, and trash, and cats, and homework, and.. and… and… well you get the idea.
In any event, God Bless you and your family. The world needs more loveing, caring, patient and loving parents like yourselves. No child should have to suffer the generations of mistakes that came before them, yet so many of us do.
With best regards,
Tony Perez
USA Virginia
email: VirginiaBroker@gmail.com
http://www.888virginia.com
text or call 703.304.7730
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