…this guest post from one of my mom friends and mentors, prayer warriors and fellow mom guilt survivors, Stacey Thacker….
I shut the door to my bedroom, well past eleven o’clock, and headed to my bathroom. Monday behaved as expected and, to be honest, got the best of me. I ran water to wash my face and started the process of removing the last bit of waterproof mascara. I think most of it ended up smeared on the side of my face sometime during the traffic mess between ballet and cheer practice.
I rehashed the day in my head while brushing my teeth and squinted at the weary and worn complexion in the mirror.
Immediately, I began making a list of good mom, bad mom behaviors exhibited in the last twenty-four hours:
- I fed the kids three meals. (Good mom.)
- One of them was take-out pizza. (Bad mom.)
- I managed to do the dishes. (Good mom.)
- I grumbled while I did them. (Bad mom.)
- I tucked them all in bed and said prayers. (Good mom.)
- I should have bathed the five year old. (Bad mom.)
Somewhere in trying to measure up to what all the good moms should be doing, weariness settled in for a nice long chat. A familiar conversation, I knew what needed to happen in order to shut down this supersize dose of mommy guilt.
I had to remember: guilt has no place in the space of grace.
“I’ve spent years trying to understand grace, and I’m convinced it is the antidote for guilt. The two can’t live together. One displaces the other. Ideally, grace lives and breathes in our life, and guilt leaves. But, more often then not the opposite is true. How do we give grace more space to rest in our lives?” – Hope for the Weary Mom, page 74.
Grace needs space to rest in my life. I am a work in progress in this area for sure. Mommy guilt can do me in and let’s face it—never plays fair. Just when I think I have a good handle on the fight, Monday shows up with a solid reminder of how far I have to go.
“For it’s by God’s grace that you have been saved. You receive it through faith. It was not our plan or our effort. It is God’s gift, pure and simple. You didn’t earn it, not one of us did, so don’t go around bragging that you must have done something amazing.” Ephesians 2:8,9 (The Voice).
But this mommy guilt antidote is a gift pure and simple. I receive it daily when I let it wash over me as I open God’s Word, sing about it in the shower, or write it on my memo board. This grace gift is the one thing mommy guilt can’t handle. It is the power of Christ in me. It is a hope filled truth my heart needs daily in the worst way.
Turning out the light, I remembered Tuesday would be filled with new mercies.
And the coffee, like grace, would be flowing freely.
Stacey (along with her friend, Brooke) have written a book for all us weary moms. Hope for the Weary Mom: Let God Meet You in the Mess launches today! It’s filled to the brim with encouragement and practical advice for kicking guilt and despair to the curb. Stacey is a wife and the mother of four vibrant girls. She is a writer and speaker who loves God’s Word. Her passion is to connect with women and encourage them in their walks with God. I have laughed, prayed, cried, and shared with her and trust me, if anyone understands the struggle of being mom, it’s Stacey. You can find her blogging at staceythacker.com and hanging out on Twitter or Instagram.