If you spend 7 years blogging about the Gospel According to Motherhood then that’s what people start to expect you to write about.
It’s what I expect myself to blog about.
Blogging the sleepless nights and holy ground of diaper changes and temper tantrums – more often than not my own – has been cathartic.
I can sit down at a computer and just pour the hot lava of emotion out of my body, through my fingers, into the keyboard and I feel purged. I feel like I’ve learned something from this job as a mother that often comes without progress reports or raises.
It’s been the best kind of free therapy to step outside myself and watch what I’m learning. What God is showing me about myself – through these children He’s trusted me with.
I’ve loved it.
Man I’ve loved the sacred midnight two step of the baby shuffle and I’ve loved sharing and processing here on a keyboard with you all. Because so many of you have come along for the dance.
And as my kids grow up out of their diapers and car seats and sleeplessness there’s this completely unprecedented new world yawning for me on the other side – I can feel it. And it makes me afraid, I admit, because I’ve been ready to sort of rest on my laurels and put my feet up for a bit.
And yet, there they are – my kids who are now able to form memories – waiting for me to be truly present in their lives that aren’t so tiny anymore. And it’s much harder now because now they’re also capable of taking care of so much on their own and I have to remind myself to pay attention.
It’s my recurring prayer – Lord please help me pay attention.
Lord please help me see my kids when they’re not right there under my nose anymore.
Lord please help me close my computer, my book, my deep desire for alone time after a decade held hostage by tiny humans and keep, on paying real attention.
So there’s that.
And I’ll keep writing all those lessons as I learn them (hopefully I’ll keep learning them). But in the middle of all that my own seasons are shifting and after 15 years as renters, Peter and I will move into the first house we have ever owned exactly one week from today.
I feel like I need to whisper that because it’s still hard to believe.
I’ve heard from so many of you who are still waiting on that whisper. I love you so much. You are my people. I want to have you all over.
And as we move toward this move there have been decisions to make.
Decisions about paint and carpets and countertops and I can’t believe I get to make these decisions. I can’t believe I’m allowed.
I can’t believe I have the opportunity.
And it’s so fun and also so scary.
Because I feel so deeply unqualified.
I’m not the girl who ever planned what her house would looks like when she grew up. I’m the girl who’s really, really good at adapting to bad wallpaper and ignoring the fake bricks that keep falling off the wall.
But here we are – homeowners about to move into our own home.
And it’s so dear to be able to bring you along on the journey with us. Because so many of you have walked through our many years as reluctant renters with us.
And yesterday Peter drove the hour from our rental house to our new house to check on the painting that’s going on there and he texted me photos so I could see the updates.
And it was so fun.
I may have snuck out of church so I could just sit in the quiet foyer and look at the photos and chat back and forth with him about this house that we are so surprisingly making our own.
This house that is the answer to prayers that we didn’t know we were even allowed to pray.
I mean, good grief, who knew white paint could be such a game changer!
I know 1 million people have probably already written about it. And that I’m the girl who usually writes about motherhood.
But this is me simply getting up the same kind of courage it takes for me to walk into Home Depot and saying out loud, “I’m gonna write about it too.”
This is me consciously giving myself permission to be 1,000,0001th person to write about what a game changer white paint is. And to share the photos with you. The blurry imperfect photos as we move into this season of making our first house a home. (More about that tomorrow).
For now I hope you’ll come along with me as I dabble in a home décor post every now and again. Although we won’t call them that. We’ll call them a “your house is not the boss of you” posts. As I learned last week when I painted my first piece of furniture, ever.
And I hope that maybe I can encourage those of you who are like me. Those of you who have been afraid of their houses for years, to simply begin.
So this is me. Beginning on a new house and some new kinds of writing over here.
I hope you’ll come with me.
Isn’t it funny how you can feel trapped by your own blog sometimes? Seriously, this is kind of why I quit blogging. I was changing, my life was changing, but I felt like my blog needed to stay the same. Like it existed in this vortex outside of time and space where I only had one aspect to my being. I love that Anne of Green Gables quote:
“There’s such a lot of different Annes in me. I sometimes think that is why I’m such a troublesome person. If I was just the one Anne it would be ever so much more comfortable, but then it wouldn’t be half so interesting.”
There’s so many Lisa Jos in you and I read your blog and stalk you socially () because I value your perspective. You’re funny, insightful, wise and such a wonderful writer. I’m so excited for you about your house and look forward to all that happens with you and how you choose to share it.
Thanks for that super awesome encouragement! :) I shall make like Ann and channel all my various, “Lisa-Jos” :)
I love your writing no matter what you write about … and I’m so super excited for you with your new house!! Happy moving!! ;-)
Dankie!! :)
I too love everything you write. My son just turned four. I know the last year has been a lot of transitions from baby to little boy with school, potty training, etc. It feels good for him to be at this fun age, but it also makes me sad that he’s not the little baby. I have to push him to grow up a little and be independent.
I love this! Finding your decorating style is such a gradual, fun thing and I’m learning that just about anyone (even me!) can take baby steps to turn their house into a beautiful space that they and their kiddos love. :)
And you are DEFINITELY not the first to walk into Home Depot and have a mild panic attack staring at all the colors and feeling like everybody else is looking at you and knowing you don’t belong. I refused to bring my husband with me to Home Depot the first few times I went because I was so embarrassed and needed time to emotionally adjust (something my hubby didn’t seem to understand)! Just saying…I feel your pain, sister!
YES – time to “emotionally adjust” is exactly the perfect way to describe it!
What a grand Adventure you are embarking upon! I’m thrilled for you! And quite frankly, as one who is afraid to make any house decorating decisions because I wasn’t born with that Jean, I love reading about others ‘ forays into that department. :)
GOOD then I shall keep them coming so we can all get braver together :)
Squeeeeeeel!!! And excited!!!!!!!!!!!
Lisa-Jo I’m so excited for you and your family’s next great adventure. Just like motherhood it will be fun and frustrating and sometimes both and more simultaneously!
We just remodeled our kitchen from our late 1970’s home and I have to say it has made me so house proud. Our home has always been open to all anytime, but the new kitchen has really helped us in the comfortable hospitality department. I adore going to Lowes in search of my next project. It’s ok to have a mini panic attack in HD, then channel that energy into a creative adventure! It’s your home and it’s your story to tell and create there!
Painting makes everything old seem new, and that’s a good change. Mothering has at its core not changing. We can change outfits, paint away, and still remain,”mom.” The toddler going to preschool, teenager to high school, Young adult to work, is really all the same. “Bye mom. Love ya.””Love you too.”
And that’s in a home in a house with blue, beige,yellow, and purple walls. But Not in the same room!!
I so understand. I started blogging while I was in college and my girls were in college too. I had one go so so far in her privacy to say, “Don’t tag me in your Facebook post, don’t post un-published photos,” pretty much, “just don’t.” Seasons change. I’m starting a new job today as a YMCA camp group leader. All their news is their own, but the last of the university graduations just got posted….so later this week I will brag, cry and post.
Go Momma!
I’m so excited for you! Your motherhood posts have helped me to become a more grace-filled mom. You’ve encouraged SO MANY young moms in life-changing ways. And I thank you so much for sharing your real with us over all these years. I’m looking forward to reading about your real house journey as well… I struggle with style and finding time to make our house pretty, and I hope I can learn with you! <3
God cares for us in the particulars of our lives but it can be so hard to discover that includes “this” particular too. (Who knew God cares about the homes we live in?)
Here He is caring for you in the particular home building-ness/creating-ness of your life and it’s awesome and heady, even scary. What a great adventure you’re having. I look forward to being along for the ride.
You MUST have heard the conversation I had in the church foyer with my friend yesterday. The one where I explained myself after standing before the congregation (weeping) with a sign in my own handwriting that said “Born People Pleaser” while the praise sang Mercy Me’s Flawless. I shared my writing struggles with this friend. Oh the weight of the expectations—I have a seminary degree, I’ve been in professional ministry–but I love my life as a homemaker, homeschooling mom, food lover, and thrift store junkie. I just want to write about EVERYTHING! My husband, the counselor, told me last night to stop waiting for permission to be ME. Being the person God created blesses Him and others. I’m ashamed that at 49 years old I’m struggling with this. Thank you for being transparent in this matter. Your words at Declare 2014 inspired me so much and the words you write here continue to do so.
You’re blog is not the boss of you! You write about anything that strikes your fancy. We will hear your voice ringing through every word!! Thrilled that you can put holes wherever you feel like it! :)
Oh, I hear ya!! I would feel the same way and I WILL when it’s my turn. For now… patiently waiting.
Congratulations, on your new home!!!
You bet we will be along for the ride. XOXOXO
LisaJo- I can’t wait to read these new posts, to see what God is doing in this new house, and in you and your family. My children are all out of the nest, and grandchildren keep my attention now. Being a part of your process, keeps me young and in prayer for mothers all around me. Great Job!
first off!!! LUV the color…the pc of furniture…idk it just ALL looks sooooo awesome!
good for you on doing it yourself!!!
I am sooo excited about your new house..your new posts….man just everything!!
i will follow u everywhere.
I can’t WAIT to read more about your new house! I pray the move goes smoothly!
You and The Nester – two people I’d choose above so many other house-related bloggers because of the heart behind the message. I’m excited to come alongside your moving journey! And you encourage me with this post. I’ve often wondered what I’ll write about as my kids grow older. Writing grows with life, right? Can’t wait to see more lovely pictures!
The way I see it, you’re still helping us figure out how to be brave, whether it’s in motherhood or in figuring out how not to be afraid to make changes in our homes. I enjoy your writing and I’m enjoying these peeks into your life. Do please carry on! :)
That is so exciting Lisa! I follow your blog because of your straight forward, unsugar coated (is that a word?) writings. It can be on motherhood or home ownership – just keep it real! We’re in our first home too and it’s not a perfect house, but it’s a home. I’m blogging about decluttering and simplifying, but I’m just starting to try to decorate more intentionally (after 9 years living in the home) and I’ll probably throw in a blog entry or two about that too. I look forward to reading your new house adventures!
When you write for your blog, you are writing for you – whatever is in your head and heart. We just get to come alongside and join you for the ride. Don’t limit your impact by not allowing yourself to write about certain topics. :-)
Decorating a new house is fun! Don’t be afraid to take a chance. Most things can be changed if you don’t like the end result. I told my husband the longer we rent an apartment, the darker my carpet was going to be when we eventually get a house. Well, now we own a house and my carpet is burgundy. I love it! Have lots of fun making your new house into your new home! Congratulations!!
As someone who lived for ages in a rental, I’m applauding your every mention of the new house… the home that’s about to be, what a gift from the Father! We fully expect to hear about it all! And in the middle of it all He’ll be faithful to do a new work in you all too!
You inspire, Lisa-Jo! Very very really. :)
Eek! I’m scared of my tiny ugly house! Help me embrace it and make it a home :(
*chuckling* Oh, Lisa! You don’t need to apologize for wanting to blog about your new adventures in home ownership! I’m sure God will teach you, and later us through your sharing, a lot through the process of making your home new to suit you. Isn’t that sortof what Jesus does with our hearts when we accept Him into it? Renovate it to suit the new Tenet? I’ll be interesting in reading all the insights you get through the process. I’m sure many of your other readers will be as well.
Again, Congratulations! :D
Girl, life is one big transition after another. And, even tho I’m way older than you and have been through those young mommy stages that you write about…I still love your blog and your writing. When I bought “Surprised By Motherhood,” I really did not think it would be a book for me. I thought I would read it, and then God would show me a young mom I could give it to. Boy, was I “surprised!” (see what I did there?) The stories you shared about your Mom touched the deep places of my heart that I don’t share with anyone. Your words have been an encouragement to me! Keep it up, sister! :)
WOW!!! It looks amazing Lisa-Jo. I’ve been stalking that same page on Nester’s blog for years. And you have totally convinced me to be brave and paint my dresser and headboard that color. It whispers aaaahhhh. Can’t wait to see lots more photos of your beautiful new home!! :) xoxo