I only hear him leaving because his youngest son hears him first.
Hears his dad tip toeing quietly out at 5am so as not to wake the baby that finally fell back asleep at 4:30. The son I didn’t even realize was in the room. The son tucked into a blanket on the floor by the far side of the bed. By his dad’s side – the spot that he comes to claim at 2am when he’s trying to outrun bad dreams.
“I love you, daddy.”
He whispers it into the early morning air and I open my eyes in time to see his father framed by the window, a silhouette frozen by those words.
“I love you too, Micah. See you later.” And he’s gone. Gone to bus stops and transfers and metro rides and then the mile walk to his office.
Micah turns over and so does my heart.
This man of mine, I’ve known him since I was 21. I’ve known him since I still fitted into a dress size that seems inconceivable to me now. I’ve known him since that summer he spent all his savings on dating me.
He used to say his “I love yous” with flowers. With chocolate and river boat rides. With ice cream sundaes and Sunday lunches.
Now he says them in ways that the world tells me are boring but every wife recognizes as goose bump worthy.
The “I love yous” he says now cost him much more than flowers. And last much longer.
They come whispered with 5 am departures and two hour commutes so that I can have the car for the day. They come with an unloaded dishwasher and a desk and study tidied. They echo through two years spent living in South Africa and savings always poured back into plane tickets again. And again and again and again.
They sound like hours spent wrestling boys on the bedroom mattress when I know he’s still got hours of work waiting.
They are the willingness to get up at night and comfort sick kids right alongside me. No matter what time he went to bed or what time he has to get back out of it.
His “I love yous” now are the laugh that still spills out of him when I make up my own words to every other song, the ridiculous we both still find funny, and the books that line one wall of our house. The books that have made it through 3 international moves since we got married.
I hear it in the loud silence when we sink into the mattress that’s known us since we said our I dos and he manages to keep eyes open as I keep talking.
When he talks me down from mountains of my own making, when he rubs my forehead while he’s watching Sports Center, when he takes out the trash, orders Pizza delivery when he’ll be home late, or calls me out on my whiney-ness – I hear the “I love you.”
The longer we’re married the less we have to use words to say it.
I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine.
~Song of Solomon 6:3.
The lilt and lisp and romantic inflection of love comes from the serving and not from the saying.
Twelve years married and I am surer now than I ever was then that I am beloved.
Because in between the every day moments when we get it all wrong, there’s a man determined to love me right.
I hear it.
I can hear it in everything he does.
::
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This post makes me thankful…
Makes me want to see and hold on to all the ways my guy says “I love you” without words. Thank you…
ahhh love this!!! gonna go shower my hubby with love now too!!! This is sooo beautiful- His love comes from serving not just saying!
This is so tender, so beautiful. I want to speak love with what I do, too. Words becoming flesh, here. Thank you.
Just beautiful!
ditto for me times a few years. it has been 43 yrs. for us. sounds like a long time doesn’t it? the time has flown! my love serves in ways now he never would have…or could have, when our family was young. i do feel loved more now in many respects:)
I cried reading this today, my friend. *Seeing* the love in the *whirl and twirl* of life is your worship and you’re honoring Him and him, and you and your *us* in the noticing. Mmm…just so delightful!
Came to this from Sarah’s shared link. Just lovely. Thank you for sharing.
amen! and amen, again! and it’s heartbreaking to see women looking for the thrill. . .the excitement. . . the romancing. the romance still abounds in spades–it just looks a bit different 17 years into the journey. we have to keep our eyes open to see it. and offer it right back up.
thanks for this sharing. beautifully written!
steph
*swoon*
I so get this friend :)
I love this, Lisa-Jo. Romance changes so much over the years, but it only gets sweeter and more selfless. I see women who brag on the things their man gets them, and constantly feel the need build him up by what he buys for his lady…While there is certainly nothing wrong with the candy and flowers and chocolate (never a bad thing, that chocolate…)my Hubby does the dishes and I feel like a queen. Because while things are nice, they take nothing but dollar bills. Dishes and serving the children and sweet gestures while sharing their man-cave require heartfelt sincerity, and that’s true romance!
Beautiful!
Beautifully written, and so true. Love is spoken many ways not just in words.
isn’t this love just amazing?!? I found these love notes too, all over my house:
http://pohlkottepress.blogspot.com/2011/08/this-life-his-hands-have-built.html
Hi Lisa-Jo, I am so glad you finally got google connect. Firstly, I think this post was awesome. Its a great reminder to me to look at my husband differently and not get bogged down in the day to day realities. Secondly, I love the 5 minute friday. Scares me to death, because I have to think everything through and its good practice to just let the juices flow. And thirdly, I am South African, living in Cape Town, so my curiosity about you was peaked. Here’s to getting to know you better.
God bless
Tracy
Well said. I have a very special man as well. The perfect one for me…. thank you God.
Thank you for putting this into words. The I love yous from my beloved also cost so much more than chocolate and flowers these days.
Oh, the joy of a man who loves us right. Well said!
I shared it on my blog along with a little of my own story. Thanks for giving me the jumpstart to get my own words flowing.
http://nancyrcarter.com/2011/11/10/love-is-a-verb
way to make me weep first thing in the morning, lisa-jo. crap. well at least i never wear eye make-up, but even if i did, it would have been worth it. gorgeous. thanks so much. you got the gift, girl. yes indeed.
Very beautifully written. You have expressed this so beautifully. It brought a tear to my eyes too. My husband also does so much for us all. Such a wonderful man. I feel so blessed to have him in my life. We’ve been married six years and I look forward to our love growing and growing and growing as well.
He loves you well. =)
Beautiful….. :)
This makes me cry good tears because my husband is like this too. And I have been wanting to write about him but there is so much there I don’t even know where to begin. Reading your post helps me get clarity. Thankful for you, that you have this kind of man. Because we wouldn’t be the women we are without them. Lovely post!
Beautiful words, compelling reminder for all who are married, great example that more women should emulate. Thank you. ;0)
So very beautiful. Perfect words for the way they love us perfectly without words. :) And I agree: the longer we’re married, the more I know that I am beloved.
AMEN AMEN AMEN! I feel the same about my husband. Such a gift to have a man who doesn’t fit the world’s standards and seeks God’s standards instead.
Lisa-Jo this is beautiful! My husband does love me in His big and little ways. It’s true less words, but stronger love.
Ahhhhh!!! You guys are flipping adorable :) This post is so much better then any romantic movie any day. God is seriously the world’s best author. He knows what good is. Thanks for showing me Him!
So beautiful!
You are blessed!
Honestly? First time through I was envious! But God’s grace grabbed me, and reading others’ comments I realized I should write my own list of hubbylove. However, hubby doesn’t want me posting about him, so it’ll be on paper, in private! Thanks though.
All thanks and praise to God!
Wow. You’re quite right – the world may see it as boring, but I see it as being blessed out of my socks!
This is so beautiful. God blesses us so richly, but his love towards us – shining through others – makes this life the bearable experience that it be. Congrats on 12 happy years :)
Lisa-Jo…. as a single mom, can I tell you just how much this post blessed me today? Well, I can’t, because I really don’t have the words! So often I listen to other women subtly (and not so subtly) criticize their husbands… often good godly men who are doing the very best they can. It breaks my heart to think that they have so much and are not able to appreciate it because it isn’t perfect, or doesn’t live up to some unrealistic romantic ideal. Nothing gives me more joy than to hear a woman build up her man…. to see her honor him for who he is… and to value the gifts that he chooses to bestow on her. You are a very blessed woman, and I hope you know that your husband is a very blessed man as well:)
That’s an Awesome, Beautiful GIFT from GOD!
I love this post, and it’s something I have learned through conviction and growth! I am so thankful for my husband and all he does for me even though he is not romantic in the traditional sense. But, he loves me so much every day through all he does for me and our family. What a blessing to be able to see love this way. More marriages would be saved if we were taught this early on! I love the quote that says, “Comparison is the thief of joy” b/c I think it applies to marriage so well. As wives we need to look at all our husbands do for us to love us and not what they don’t do! Thanks for sharing!
That is such a sweet post…you’re so blessed. :)
Simply beautiful! Thanks for the reminder to see the “I love yous” all around us!
I’m speechless and that doesn’t happen often! So beautiful.
Janelle
My husband does this too – he’s just stayed home with our four children (the oldest is 8) and let me go to a conference this weekend. Amazing teaching, fabulous worship which all led into another encounter with the love of God… ahhhhhhh, bliss!
And none of that would have been possible without my darling loving me enough to stay home and do the hard work so I could go. He’s a good man!
you hear well… such a gift to your man!
such a lesson for your children…
lisa-jo,
the last time i saw you and peter was during your notre dame days…how exciting to see the journey that you have been on over the last decade! blessings to you and your lovely family. thank you for sharing a bit of yourself with us, and reminding everyone of the unending grace of our heavenly father.