So here’s my first whirl at joining the “MckMama Carnival” where moms unite and fess up to the crazy, sleep deprived, kid-induced things they most certainly did not do to make it through another week of that hardest job of all – parenting – with laughter and good humor still in tact!

This week I did not stay home from work 2 days to coddle and cuddle a toddler who – while adorable in all other ways – was producing copious amounts of you-know-what from both ends!

I most certainly did not flip my lid when I discovered that our very own little 3-year-old Spiderman (see previous post) had tracked mud all the way across the white carpet from the back door en route to the front door because that’s where the “shoe tub” is and thus where he is programmed to take off his shoes. I ultimately had to admire his good intentions. And did not simply scuff at the dirt tracks, shrug my shoulders, and feel grateful that this house is just a rental.

On that note, I absolutely did not do 6 loads of laundry triggered by said gastro-intestinal bug, nor did I consider purchasing a pet stain removing spray to up the ante in dealing with what the stomach bug has left behind on my carpets.

Despite the boyscout level of preparedness required I certainly did not take my toddler with his volatile booty on a field trip rather than remain trapped at home with my stinky carpets! That would be crazy and have necessitated all kinds of complicated trips to public restrooms, battles on changing tables and many many sacks for bagging up the stinkiest diapers known to moms!

And in a desperate attempt to get the poor little guy to start eating any kinds of solids again I absolutely did not offer him pizza and fries because goodness knows what those are like when they come out the other side!

And finally, FINALLY, when I sat down for a snack between loads of laundry and rocking a sick toddler to sleep, and scrubbing my carpet I horribly, incredibly did NOT discover a rich dark stain of something sooo repulsive that had saturated the sleeve of my sweater and until the pungent odor hit me as I raised my sandwich for a bite had, up until that terrible moment, gone unnoticed. That would just be too gross to mention in a public post.

And I can’t possibly have let my very first “not me Monday” devolve into a potty humor post – but then again, dear readers, you all understand I know! ‘Cause you ain’t a mom if the potty isn’t a large part of your day. Here’s wishing you and yours a good one – bug free and laughter filled!


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