It’s been nearly three and half years since I was last home.

Home where the ground turns purple under a jacaranda carpet every October.

Home where our history is littered with horror, prejudice and a several lifetimes of guilt.

Home where hope triumphed and my brother’s generation barely remembers what it took.

Home where the red dirt meets the red sky and the sun howls beauty as it sets.

This song, it sets my homesickness to music. And the only reason I can share it with you without cracking right open is because this June, we will board our boys and new born babe with South African Airways and chase our hearts back to the land of the Baobab.

I’m still not sure if I’m ready to believe it.

Band: Dear Reader; Album: Replace Why With Funny; Song: The Same

land, land of my birth
are you my mother
or am i an orphan

where, where do i belong
will i find a place in this world
or forever just wander around

southern hemisphere
how did i end up here
i have nowhere to go
this is the only home that i know
such a great divide
between you and i
how i wish it would go
i live in a place in my mind

no i don’t listen to kwaito, wasn’t born in soweto
i don’t understand you
but i want to, you know

same, were both the same
we share the same heart
we’re made of the same parts

please don’t look at me that way
i already live with the guilt that i own
from my forefather’s past
does this land belong to the tribes who engraved her stones with stories of old
they’re long gone you know
now this is our home

i want to strip you down to the core
take off your shirt, hat, shoes and trousers
erase my head, all the books that i’ve read
the language i speak, the customs you keep
keep on going right down to the heart
to the pain that is yours – the pain that is ours
tell you it’s all going to be alright
is it going to be alright

heal, can you heal
heal, oh can you heal
heal, oh mother, can you heal
or am i an orphan
forever a stranger here

same, we’re both the same
we share the same heart
we’re made of the same parts

With thanks to my cousin, Hannah, for sharing it with me.