Dictate in minute detail how the dishwasher should be loaded.

Oversee his diapering of your baby, double checking whether or not he applied enough Desitin.

Rattle off a list of to-do’s the minute he walks in the door from work. Repeat them again over dinner. Mutter them under your breath while you’re getting the kids ready for bed. Huff and puff them to yourself every time you walk past him. Then complain about how the chores are being done while he is in the process of doing them.

Compare how he gets things done to any other living being – including your father, your best friend, or Chuck Norris.

Request his help in the same tone of voice that your toddler uses when he can’t get his way. For those of you who don’t have toddlers, if only dogs can hear your request then that’s the tone I’m talking about.

Pout.

Start Saturday morning out with a list of chores before anyone’s had breakfast or any fun.

Re-stack the dishes he already put away into their “proper” places. Ditto for re-folding laundry, re-ordering the pantry, or re-making the bed. Basically all “re’s” fall into this category.

Live like roommates instead of lovers. Forget to laugh. Believe what the neighbors think of your yard is more important than what you think of your man. Compare.

Because, wrapping a man around your finger…

begins with wrapping yourself around him first.

With words and arms and actions. Embrace your man. And, in my experience, he will willingly, happily, delightfully embrace you back.

You {and sometimes even your chores.}

[Naturally, I have done, do and will probably do again all of the above. But a girl can try to change, right? So, what’d I leave off the list?]

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