I only hear him leaving because his youngest son hears him first.
Hears his dad tip toeing quietly out at 5am so as not to wake the baby that finally fell back asleep at 4:30. The son I didn’t even realize was in the room. The son tucked into a blanket on the floor by the far side of the bed. By his dad’s side – the spot that he comes to claim at 2am when he’s trying to outrun bad dreams.
“I love you, daddy.”
He whispers it into the early morning air and I open my eyes in time to see his father framed by the window, a silhouette frozen by those words.
“I love you too, Micah. See you later.” And he’s gone. Gone to bus stops and transfers and metro rides and then the mile walk to his office.
Micah turns over and so does my heart.
This man of mine, I’ve known him since I was 21. I’ve known him since I still fitted into a dress size that seems inconceivable to me now. I’ve known him since that summer he spent all his savings on dating me.
He used to say his “I love yous” with flowers. With chocolate and river boat rides. With ice cream sundaes and Sunday lunches.
Now he says them in ways that the world tells me are boring but every wife recognizes as goose bump worthy.
The “I love yous” he says now cost him much more than flowers. And last much longer.
They come whispered with 5 am departures and two hour commutes so that I can have the car for the day. They come with an unloaded dishwasher and a desk and study tidied. They echo through two years spent living in South Africa and savings always poured back into plane tickets again. And again and again and again.
They sound like hours spent wrestling boys on the bedroom mattress when I know he’s still got hours of work waiting.
They are the willingness to get up at night and comfort sick kids right alongside me. No matter what time he went to bed or what time he has to get back out of it.
His “I love yous” now are the laugh that still spills out of him when I make up my own words to every other song, the ridiculous we both still find funny, and the books that line one wall of our house. The books that have made it through 3 international moves since we got married.
I hear it in the loud silence when we sink into the mattress that’s known us since we said our I dos and he manages to keep eyes open as I keep talking.
When he talks me down from mountains of my own making, when he rubs my forehead while he’s watching Sports Center, when he takes out the trash, orders Pizza delivery when he’ll be home late, or calls me out on my whiney-ness – I hear the “I love you.”
The longer we’re married the less we have to use words to say it.
I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine.
~Song of Solomon 6:3.
The lilt and lisp and romantic inflection of love comes from the serving and not from the saying.
Twelve years married and I am surer now than I ever was then that I am beloved.
Because in between the every day moments when we get it all wrong, there’s a man determined to love me right.
I hear it.
I can hear it in everything he does.
::
Actions speak louder than words, and how true that is in marriage.
A beautiful tribute, Lisa. Thank God for men who serve and love in humble, steadfast deeds that back up words. Our son who will see his first baby by ultrasound tomorrow, read a birthday tribute to his father tonight. The kind of man you describe will bear the fruit of Godly manhood in your sons. And it doesn’t get much better than that!
So true! Just love my man and appreciate this renewed perspective. My husband works from home and we can all see into his office and it’s difficult when it seems like he’s having a quiet relaxing time and I’m covered in kids and noise. He’s NOT relaxing though. He is working very hard for his family.
To say ‘you have a way with words’ seems like the understatement of the year! But you always manage to perfectly express the way I feel! I’m thankful I have a husband like this too.
Beautiful treasure, Lisa Jo!
I’ve been married 24 years, half my life, and it’s different details but the same grace of God, same love holding onto us. On our 20th I picked out a necklace with a möbius strip ring that has Jeremiah 31:3 on it, both as an acknowledgement of my husband’s love and of God’s perfect love.
Marriage has sometimes been really hard, but I am ever so thankful for my man’s sense of commitment. He says, “because God keeps his promises.”
I love how you list your man’s sacrifices of love. Way to show him honor!! We honor him with you.
Beautiful! I love, love! Even better I love that kind of covenant love!
Beautiful!! And so true… the love comes in serving now more so than in the words…
“The lilt and lisp and romantic inflection of love comes from the serving and not from the saying.” Love this! Thank you, Lisa Jo!
This is touching! You have a great gift for writing the feelings of a story! I enjoy reading everything you put down. And Yes.. These are the I love you’s that truly mean love. I will thank my husband in I love you’s for all of my time.
This one. This one was a good reminder for me. Sometimes, when I am overwhelmed by motherhood, I forget to thank my husband for what he does, instead of just picking at what he doesn’t. Thank you.
Well written. Your husband will cherish that post forever! Thanks for sharing.
Joe
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My husband and I celebrated 14 years of marriage yesterday and I can appreciate this. It is amazing how your idea of I love you and romance can change over the years. To me, nothing says I love you more than laundry folded and put away. It melts my heart. Seriously.
Pure sweet love. You are blessed. Thank you for sharing.
Oh, so beautiful, and I have no words.
This: “The longer we’re married the less we have to use words to say it.”
Awesome post – my husband is much the same. We are blessed!
Thank you for this….I am blessed to be able to say, “me, too” to so much of what you’ve shared here. God is good.
A beautiful reminder that I needed to read this morning. Thank you.
Having celebrated 46 years of marriage this week, I so understand the “less words” comment, & the longer we go the more comfortable we are just being together in quiet. You have a great perspective & are a real encouragement to other women of all ages & stages as you write this.
Very very nice. Recognizing love in the everyday. Thanks for this!
This is so true. So good.
I’m jealous :) I hear about these kinda men……
Yes :) So much better than reality TV…happy for you both and your children…what a priceless gift :)
Aww, I love this. Such sweet words.
Reyna
Thank you for this, it brought tears to my eyes. I’ve been lying in bed for three days with a bad case of the flu and my husband has really been an angel at the side of my bed. Minding our three young children, folding laundry, doing the dishes and bringing me chicken soup.
That, to me, says “I love you” louder than any words.