After nearly a year in Michigan we traveled home to South Africa for a visit. We were nervous about how it would go. There was still lingering post traumatic stress from our roller coaster lows while living there. You can read about them in part 1, part 2 and part 3 of the story. But we had a secret. It warmed us from the inside and carried us boldly forward.
I was pregnant.
And with each roll of this baby’s new body, each tap of his tiny feet on my belly I felt God’s Spirit whispering comfort and the fulfillment of promise in my heart. A Michigan baby headed to South Africa for the first time. The trip exceeded all our expectations. It was chock-a-block full of understanding and friendship and family ties tight and strong.
Like fresh rain it washed away the dirt and exhaustion of the last time we had been home. And we were left with clean memories. Ready for the imprint of moments like this.
That’s my dad doing the sonogram. He’s the doctor that got the first pictures of Micah’s, um, manhood. The thought of another boy had us all whooping with glee. But a name, we didn’t have a name for a long time.
After three weeks of pap ‘n wors, koesisters, rooibos tea, and oodles of family we left. Again. And this time it only hurt in the good way. The heart so full of faces and places and grins that it wants to explode with a happy bang kind of way. Instead it pounds away in the chest keeping up a stomping rhythm of remembered, relived joy.
On take off, something else stomped. A small foot added its own gumboot beat to the ride. And a name, his name, flashed across my mind.
Micah.
We knew no one by that name. We knew very little about the book. Micah was a minor prophet and his letter included in the Bible is just a few short chapters long.
Micah.
When we got home we looked it up and started to read. And over the echoes of the past two years of “no” God spoke to us in new ways using the ancient words of a prophet to explain where we had come from and where we were going:
Therefore I will look unto the Lord;
I will wait for the God of my salvation:
my God will hear me.
Rejoice not against me, O mine enemy:
when I fall, I shall arise; when I sit in darkness,
the LORD shall be a light unto me.
I will bear the indignation of the Lord
because I have sinned against him,
until he plead my cause, and execute judgment for me:
he will bring me forth to the light,
and I shall behold his righteousness.Micah 7:7-9.
Even now I can’t read those verses without my eyes blurring.
He knew all along what he was doing. Even in the darkest moments, there was a night light burning. And joy, such bright, beautiful joy came in the morning.
Two days after Christmas morning.
Micah.
I got all teary eyed when I read that your dad did the ultrasound, and then again when I read the words from the book of Micah. What a beautiful story, a beautiful lesson, a hard lesson to learn! Wow. These posts have helped me. Thank you.
It was a super special moment – he was so nervous it would still be too early to tell the gender, but then suddenly let out a whoop of glee when he spotted, well, “you know what” :)
My story of hope and renewed faith ends (begins?!) with the birth of a son as well. I SO relate to this.
(My nephew’s name is Micah–I’ve always loved the name, but my sister beat me to it. And what a perfect passage–I can understand why you can’t read it without getting choked up!)
You know that cheesy Christmas song, “A baby changes everything”? Well, it is dead on accurate! PS: I would love to read your baby journey – is it in your archives somewhere?
Thank you so much for such love of God. Few to many times I have heard that “NO” but in all my 34 yrs of being a believer I never remember one time when His “NO” meant anything but the best for me. Now I can say that,Now I understand that “NO” is what is best for me and for all of us.
Thanks for the encouragement and inspiration you’ve given me. I’ve been going thru several “NOs” now and I am having a hard time understanding why. You’re article helped me understand that His NOs might not be the answer to my prayers right now but by accepting the No with an open heart and an open mind, I will eventually see the YES.
Okay, I just read all 4 parts…what a beautiful story of the faithfulness of the Lord. What a beautiful testimony you have, to His goodness! All praise be to Him for not what He does, but for WHO He is.
Little prophets with BIG profits (wealth in words). During many trials and tribulations, they spoke His bold words. Everlasting words, of peace, redemption, comfort, or hardship. Summing up your journey of “no”s. How fitting! Micah.
Journeying on with you! While I reap the benefits of your “no” in these beautiful messages.
I love how you put things – thanks for your sweet words, Tammy.
What a wonderful story! Didn’t ever know the inspiration for Micah’s name.
I can’t get over your dad doing the sonogram – what a special moment!
But your whole story is so moving, and inspiring. Thank you for sharing.
love the picture sequence…so happy!
It was an awesome moment! And the pics were actually pulled off the video my husband shot of the sonogram experience – priceless memories!
I just read all four posts of “life after no” and I am so glad I did. Thank you for sharing the journey, from prayers that didn’t seem to be answereed, to hiding the real feelings, to well-meaning people whose words hurt, to relocating and not seeing God right away, to realizing that faith in God and faith in what God can do for me are not the same thing, to your beautiful baby Micah. It always seems that the journey, although filled with a variety of emotions and stages, is worth it. Thanks for sharing your life with those of us who are new to the awesome world of Christian bloggie women. :)
Thanks for taking the time to walk the journey with me! And I’m pretty new to blogging as well – only one year at it now. And I so totally agree about what a blessing it is to find a community of women so willing to be vulnerable and raw and share the lessons they have learned the hard way. It always moves me. Thanks for taking the time to say “hi” – it’s lovely to meet the folks who stop by.
Absolutely beautiful. Beautifully written and feelings expressed. How amazing. Blurring eyes, here, too!
Thanks – bet those eyes were blurring especially knowing there’s a little bundle of joy growing with you too, eh?
how incredible that your dad did the sonogram!
(and i could seriously house some pap & wors right about now.)
As one who has heard an incredibly painful “No”, I can’t tell you how much these posts minister to me. Plus, you’re writing is just ridiculously good:)
I’m catching up on blogs and I just loved this series, and your insights and honesty.
No’s are so hard to live in, and through. I too had a no experience while living over seas. (And I now live in Michigan!) Of course God was with me through it all but I just couldn’t see it at the time. (I do know it now.)
I am thankful that you shared your story. I think we all benefit from sharing our stories.
I’m totally enjoying my Saturday afternoon spent here. I think may be monopolizing your comment sections, so I’ll stop commenting on EVERYTHING I read, but thank you for the journey! (I’m not leaving yet, just quieting down a little.)
…also – i have been very touched by your posts about ‘is there life after ‘no’?’
thanks for sharing
love bron
Thanks so much for sending me the link so I could start this at the beginning and enjoy the read-thru! It certainly tugs at my heart strings in a very personal way. As the “Cry of the Beloved Country” gets more deeply ingrained in my heart, there is a bit of fear in me that I won’t end up in my homeland, either — but I am trusting the God Who Sees Me that His plan, His way, His Glory — His Best, will be my best too! Thanks for walking this out ahead of me!
WOW WOW and WOW! I am writing through tears as I just read the entire story! WOW! I stand in awe of the blessings of God, the way He works things out and teaches us valuable lessons (like life after no) along the way! WOW!
And Micah –how PERFECT! How precious and how profound…
Our GOD named my baby boy as well…
I was pregnant with my second child. My husband chose to leave when I was only 3 mos pregnant to live with his girlfriend (lots of back story here but for time’s sake I’ll spare you –maybe I’ll blog about it soon) I didn’t know what the baby was yet but I was secretly hoping a boy (i already had a girl) and there a place inside me that thought if it were a boy his daddy would be willing to reconcile. I was at my lowest point in my life…if not for that babe in my womb I might not be here today –thoughts of suicide filled my mind…the day finally came I would find out and sure enough the babe was indeed a boy. I was ecstatic. His father…well that made no difference to him. So I began the process of choosing a name. I combed baby books but nothing seemed right. I began praying and as I read the Bible one morning the name SETH jumped out at me…I thought wow, Seth, I love that…so it was…Seth…then I struggled with his middle name –God had already given me that one too…it was Benjamin (his daddy’s name) oh i can’t do that I thought…and so i decided it would be Seth Michael –2 wks before Seth was born God saved me…He made me a new creature and gave me eternal life! And when Seth was born I named him Seth Benjamin –i learned shortly after that of the significance this name would have –my pastor presented him to the church as ‘my new beginning’ just as Seth was a new beginning for Adam and Eve…his name means set appointed right hand of the Father!
So thankful God knows the plans He has for us -plans to prosper us and not to harm us! Working ALL things together for our good!
Oh my goodness gracious, Kathy! I just got chills all the way down to my toes after reading that story. Thank you so much for sharing it with me. Yes, indeed! He is a God of mighty new beginnings and fresh starts. It makes me smile so big to hear yours started with a baby too! And Seth – I have always loved that name!! Blessings on you both!
Dear Lisa,
Reading what you shared through “No” was like to be connected to someone who though miles apart (I’m in the remote part of the world called India) seemed so real and makes you smile!!
Knowing that you are not alone, wondering whether you have lost it all (even HIM)…that you have been decieved (expecting HIM to be the mystical vending unit;)…and all that! Phew! for all that agony…He always turns up showing that HE had been faithful all the while…saving the best for the perfect timing…HIS timing (not ours!).
Thanks for sharing it all Lisa!
Pray that you continue your walk with HIM at a new level and keep sharing the same.
Thank you for your words – what a treasure to unwrap them here in the States knowing they were sent all the way from India! And yes, you are right – He is faithful, no matter how we may feel. He is good and He proves Himself so, over and over again.
Blessings on you this Sunday!
Loved reading your story in parts 1-4! I live with a case of God’s “no” and a hurt in my heart; but realize after several years of study and prayer and great friends that God makes the choices not us, just as you say!
That process of acceptance is a hard one, isn’t it? I’m still learning, but it has also been very liberating in very unexpected ways! Lovely to “meet” you!
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I guess I am the only man making a post on this blog…so pardon me for the intrusion!
Needless to say how closely this adventure relates to me and my family. I am from Africa but have been working with the UN mission in Haiti for the past 12 months. Never thought I would end up on this Carribean island. But this happened because God said a “no” that no one was able to change. Because of a serious administrative error on my immigration paperwork, I had to leave the United States. Eminent lawyers and strong involvement from church family members did not amount to anything positive. Still, we were so convinced God would reverse decisions. Honestly, it was such a trying time for us, especially for my wife to see me depart the US, leaving her and 4 kids behind.
Recently, I wanted to return to the US, but against all odds, God got in the way; the plan, which was looking solid at the beginning, crumbled all of a sudden in a incredible way. In the midst of all this, we are learning to put things into perspective in order to come to terms with what God wants to do in/with the family. We – especially my wife – have yielded to Him and given Him control to lead to way. We haven’t seen each other for a year now but in the process, there is a lot of purification in our relationship, a great transformation developing in our hearts and more of God’s nature taking shape in us.
I believe God is doing this for a purpose. We have been married for 11+ years and spent much of that time looking at each other’s faults and weaknesses. It’s going to be a completely different story and new life the next time God says “yes” for the reunion… in the States?…in the Carribean?…in Africa?…or somewhere else?…I don’t know. The God of the happy endings will surely give life after His “nos.”
Thanks again, and God bless!
Thank you for sharing your encouraging story. It is a comfort to hear others share their experiences with God’s, “no,” answers.
I am also at a place in my life where God has said, “no.” For me as well it has been a year of painful turmoil, and like you I don’t know where God is leading me to. However, I am familiar with the concept that God does at times say “no” to us. I call it His will, which is what Jesus prayed when He said, “Not my will, but Thy will be done,” as he asked that the cup of suffering might pass from Him. It didn’t, because God had bigger plans to prosper Him. Prosper and fulfill His mission on this earth that His word would not return void.
For the past year I have watched my husband’s life is slowly, is slowly being taken away from me, our two son’s, daughter-in-law, and new granddaughter. He has terminal Small Cell Lung Cancer which was diagnosed a year ago this past May 11th. However, unlike myself, he is not a Christian.
I converted to Christianity only 13 years ago, however, my desire for salvation started in childhood. My husband and I have been married for 29 years. I can only imagine how difficult it has been for him to accept the change in me, my attitude, and especially my lifestyle. As I pulled away from the activities we once enjoyed together, in favour of more wholesome ones, he dug deeper in. God carried us through 10 years of financial drought, after my husband lost his job of 29 years. He spared our home from fire, and has granted him the strength and determination to continue providing for us, inspite of his illness. Inspite of everything God has brought us through thus far, my husband continues to follow the path of distruction.
Before we became aware of his condition, I had been praying that God would show my husband his need of Christ. Since it’s discovery my own faith has been sorely tested, but He has been teaching me alot about praising and trusting, even in the face of great sorrow. I am thankful for every day that the Lord grants us, knowing each day may be our last.
For me the story is not ended yet, and I do not know the destination. My only comfort is in knowing that God is in control, and has plans to prosper and not to harm, and that He is not willing that any should be lost.
In His service,
Beverly
Please forgive the poor editing in the third paragraph.
Beverlyann, I can sympathize with you, but can’t say that i cannot relate to you in many ways. I have lost my husband and my second son to death, I had been married for 52+ years when i lost my husband in 1996, and lost my son in 2004, so God has said no to me many times during those years, and many times since, he is still saying it. You & gypsymama keep pressing on toward the prizes which in these cases ‘Are The Yes’es.’, for am sure they will come to you . Just “Keep Pressing On!!”..
“Gypsymama”; Will you keep posting your articles as well as the blogs on tthe comments, for i enjoy them very very much. God bless you.
What a blessing I too have had my struggles with the “no” and seemingly endless shut doors learning to trust God one day at a time at first it was daunting and I cried alot and think I even lost weight with the seemingly ever increasing anxiety that my life in a new place was bringing. I had ended a chapter of my life and am beginning another it has been difficult God has strengthened me despite my earnest desire for everything to be “okay now” so it was such an encouragement to read your blog and realize that like the scripture says “your bretheren are going through similar trials” perseverance, faith in Gods providence and his path to holiness is the only right way. Congratulations on the birth of a son such joy for you and your husband. I live in Australia and thankyou for blessing my life I to am being retored in the most wonderful way possible Gods way and yes no does hurt but as we continue our journey on the path that God has chosen we begin to see the hope, newness and his love in it all. Yours in Christ in Australia Cathy
sorry australia I meant I was overwhelmed in my excitement- that you had undergone and been through a circumstance that I am now undergoing that I mispelt Australia. Thanks again for the encouragement and Praise Be to God who is new every morning and refreshes our thirsty souls just when they need it most. Cathy
Thanks so much for saying hi, Cathy. Yes, you are so so right – there is such profound comfort in knowing that we are not alone in our struggles and that others are on the same road, going through the same valley and coming out into the same light! Happy Sunday to you Down Under!
Hey Lisa,
My colleague sent me an email about it’s on your story. The title of your story brings a feeling of pain within me that I am hoping I dont have to face. The day is fast approaching.. this Sunday. I asked God just this morning for a word, a devotion and God did through my colleague.
These words brought tears as I sat in my office desk reading, “That is where He met me. At the cross-roads of his decision and my acceptance of it; He led me out of my heartache and into a season of redemption and beauty. All without changing His answer.” I went to read 2 Kings 4.
God, could you revive my marriage? I have been trying to trust God as He told me. A new strength rise as He told me in a strong, quiet voice in the midst of the storm, “I have confidence in you”.
I fight all my feelings right now to focus on God. I have stay strong, I needed to use all my energy needed to make best of this mess. God has directed me and and I know, I know Emmanuel. I asked my Abba Father to protect my heart and He did.
When I have fear or negative thoughts, I say “I will trust you God cos You told me to”. Reality would be the test, each time I go back to a empty house. 7 years of an amazingly challenging marriage and no kids. Entering into promise land now but it’s in the process of been thwarted (Dan 7:25).
Yes, my heart aches. Your story of baby Micah gives me hope. God please dont defer this hope too long, the heart can get sick.
Thank you so much for the kind thoughts and words. There are days when I don’t feel brave, but God is gracious. Yes Lisa-Jo, I do have strong ties within my church. I think that was one thing that was proven to me right from the start. The outpouring of love was amazing. We received over 30 cards from members of my church from all over the US and Canada, so many that I have them strung wall to wall…like Christmas Cards over my dining room window, and numerous emails.
The ladies in my home church provided us with meals for the month that my husband was in the hospital, members came to my home and finished the renovations in our dining room. My husband had started it, but was too ill to finish it at the time. The greatest blessing through all of this was the gift of a car so that I could take him back and forth to his treatments, three times a week at the hospital.
When I was told that a member was looking for one for me, I resisted for a couple of weeks believing that we could not afford the expense. However, they kept bringing it up. I finally said that if that was what the Lord laid on their heart, and one turned up quickly, I would accept it as God’s will. The next day I received a call asking for my license information to put on the registration. An older vehicle, with less than 60,000 kil. on it, had been brought in for trade that morning, in mint condition. I heard that when the Brother went to purchase it, he told the dealer, who was also a Christian, why he wanted it…the man was moved to tears and gave it to him. He said he couldn’t understand why he had received such a vehicle, or what he was supposed to do with it…and that now he knew.
Our God is so great, and His mercy so beyond measure. I’m thankful that I came across your blog, and God has used it to remind me of just how much He loves me.
Beverly
It’s still Sunday, 11:55 PM in Brazil and I suddenly woke from a sleep of 3 hours, as I was very tired (I’m 66 years old and seem to get exhausted very early) and felt an urge to go to my PC. Your story kind of ‘jumped’ at me and I started reading, because for what seems to be an endless time I have had God saying ‘no’ to me and my reaction to this is I got into a shell and decided to exclude the world with which I could no longer live if God kept saying ‘no’. The paragraph in which you wrote: “I have since come to believe that God is not nearly as interested in our happiness as He is in our holiness. What makes me happy is not necessarily what draws me closer to the God who knows my every nook and cranny. And He loves me enough to say, “no” when – as every parent understands – saying “yes” would have been so much simpler” opened my eyes and my heart to accept the fact that I was feeling sorry for myself instead of wanting to do God’s will in my life, as if this were more important than what He intended to do through my life and that that is what being a Christian is all about: obeying God and fulfilling His ultimate will. I supose that when one gets to my age it is in reality easyer to recognise and accept this, as one probably has already lived most of the life we are expected to live. But it was and ‘eye and a heart opener’ to me, that “God is more interested in my holiness than in my happiness”. I’ve wasted too much time trying to make God make me happy and I’ve finally understood that only obedience will make me more holy and through holiness, happyness will emerge as a present from His Throne. Thank you and may He continue to bless you and those you reach out to with your experience in His light.
I read your story with much curiosity, as I, too have been agonizing under a “No!” from God. However, my “No” has been in process for a couple of decades and has encompassed my whole understanding of what is important in life and the values that we all hold dear. I am speaking about marriage and family. Both of these the Lord has said “No” to for me. Sometimes the agony seems unbearable and like you, I just smile and keep on smiling – because I know that if I let go, all I will receive back is a curious stare, or worse, damning judgement. I have not yet come to the place of peace; there is yet no beauty and no redemption that is evident to me. Only more bleeding on the inside; only more ‘famine’ in the land. Maybe that’s because I’m too stubborn to accept His “No?” I cannot tell, maybe time will, but it’s been so long now that I’ve pretty much given up searching for answers that never seem to come. Is God good? Possibly. People say so. You say so, and your story gives me hope to hang onto for another day or week. And maybe some day there will be a happy ending to my story such as was the case in yours. God only kNOws.
Your story filled my heart with joy. I read all the other replys and decided to speak. 26 years ago I learned that my husband of 22 years was a homosexula, this was few months after our oldest son died when we were moving to our new home, and a couple of years before we lost that home because of a down turn in my husbands business. What can I say but that when God says NO He means it. As my husband was self employed all the bills were in my name and we had two other children. For 9 years I prayed and thought God wasn’t listening but he was just waiting for the right time. Our children married and moved away, we continued to live as brother and sister,then God decidedd it was time for things to change. Our daughter came home with a 3 week old baby, started to school to learn how to make a living, and then the bomb exploded. I just knew I was going to lose everything and everyone I loved but instead my husband willingly went to Christian Counseling with a group from Exodus who deal quite well with this problem. Now after 45 years of marriage he walks free of this sin and our children love and adore him as I do. Is everything wonderful all the time, No, but that is life. I still work, he has retired and has some serious illnesses but God rains down His blessings on us each day and I’m glad He shut the door when I wanted to run. I asked Him what I had done to deserve this and He has never answered that question, just replied “Give him to me and I’ll take care of it.” I did and He did and calmness fills my soul. Oh, how could any of us ever live without God, even when He tells us NO because He has something better for us. May God continue to bless you and your family and all those who have responded to you as you walk each day with your hand in His. Carol
Dear Gypsymama,
Your story touched me a great deal. I am at a point in my life where, I have begun to think are god’s delays denials? Are His no’s truly for our good?Your story was very beautiful. I feel encouraged. God bless you.I am writing from India. Just happened to open this site. God’s denials are for our Best or like you have written for His Best which in turn becomes for our best. Felt happy to read about your son Micah.. and the verse that you quoted. May God strengthen you to enrich and bless many more lives.Amen.
Love,
Rashmi
Thanks so much for sharing your story. It has help me put some perspective in my life regarding a present situation that I am going through. When you spoke about how we see God as a vending machine, we pray and we want our desires pop out, struck a cord with me. Because I was doing the same thing, but I thank you for helping me see that God is sovereign and he knows what is best for us. The pain is still real but I know in time I will get the understanding of what He is doing in my life. May God bless you and your family. Congratulations on your new baby boy.
Joanne from Trinidad and Tobago
Wonderful rendering of what so many people experience but can’t put so eloquently.
The “no” personally came 30 years ago. In my case, though, it was LEAVING Michigan, which was home. So angry with God for not allowing us to stay with extended family who adored our 2 year old and newborn. Instead of smiling, however, I would almost goad people into asking how I liked it in my new home so I could assault them with how miserable I was. We orchestrated a move back to Michigan but it only lasted for a year and a half and God brought us back. So angry again but this time I took it out on my husband. If only he worked for another company I told him (and myself) this wouldn’t have happened. Another move to Florida sixteen years later convinced me we were finally free but God brought us back two years later to the exact same place. I KNOW that we’re supposed to be here and there’s peace knowing that. I can’t say that I’d CHOOSE to be here but the fact that God has demonstrated so clearly that HE has a purpose for us here, makes me smile. Thanks again for choosing to tell your journey with no. Obviously, you’ve struck a chord among many people. Oh, enjoy that wonderful Michigan summer! How beautiful are they?
They say our trials are not for us but others… That they might see the glory, mercy and grace that is GOD! I truly believe this. Thank you for sharing your story. It has blessed me in more ways than you can ever know. Keep allowing HIM to use you!
Lisa,
I first read an excerpt of “Is There Life After ‘No’?” from dayspring.com (I think that was my first source). I was immediately hooked and had to read the entire article. Your poignant, touching, and honest story was such a great challenge to live Philippians 4:11-13!
The last few years God has either not answered, or has answered, “No,” in several key areas of my life. I fully understand the feelings you describe, and I also realize God has our very best interests in mind – He has the full picture! Your story is a great encouragement for us to wait peacefully and patiently for that which is to come – no matter what!
Thanks so much for your openness. I shared your story with many ladies in my Bible studies. God is using you mightily!
Dee
Loved your story! Like you, I hold on to the fact that God can do what He wants, when He wants and how He wants. I am confident that God knows our desires better than we do and that He truly can and will grant us those hidden desires of our heart. To know Him more and more each day is my ultimate desire and to see Him work in divine ways is another evidence of how He shows Himself . Thank you for your beautiful story where we can see our Lord in action!
Lovingly in Christ,
Mary
i came cross this bloggs by accident and i have been so encouraged, feel light by the various entries. I’ve been single and trusting God for husband for 1Oyears now, it actually feels like just yesterday. i know the delay is not God’s denial. I like what u said, God is interested in our Holiness. I thank all writers as it has helped me to dig heel in that God is in control of my life and he will work lead me to the one he has chosen and given me. God bless.
i’m not even sure how i got to this blog but as i read the passage from micah, i know it was only God reminding me of His nearness. thank you for sharing your story. may God continue to bless your family in the ways He knows best.
Your story is inspiring, although I must admit a bit scary for me at the same time. I have been living a series of ‘no’s’ for many many years. My story is similar in that I am living in a place for 2 years and cannot imagine even a remote possibility of ever finding solace here. I have become so weak in my prayer that it’s all the strength I have to reach out and touch the hem of His garment. I need prayer… whether it be for the desired ‘yes’, or divine intervention to accept the dreaded ‘no’.
I stumbled upon your site from one of my daily inbox devotionals. I was highly inspired, you are a gifted writer. I’m a widow, at least twice your age, and my story is waaaaaay too long to tell here. I’m the daughter of a Baptist minister, a Christian almost my entire life, and much of my life has been a series of “no’s” from God. My worst NO occurred 3 years ago when my beloved husband of 9 years died from cancer instead of being healed, like I’d prayed and believed for. I never expected to be a widow at 46. I’ve had no’s since then, too. I’ve been unemployed now for so long I feel my career has derailed and I wonder if I am employable anymore. Most my friends left my life when my husband died, and I’ve had a real challenge making new ones. In spite of my desperately wanting relationships, for whatever reason, God has isolated me from almost everyone and everything. Try as I might, I haven’t been able to change things. I accept God’s plan, and as yet, have still to see it’s purpose. I’m not saying I’m happy about it, not by a long shot. But God is not FINISHED yet…..and he IS more concerned with my holiness than my happiness, like you say. And that has to be enough, for now. God Bless. Keep writing!!
I identify with your struggle with “no’s”. I was widowed at age 30 with 3 small children – that was 36 years ago. 11 years ago I remarried, and that was a joyful happening, but since then I have seen my children struggle and my prayers for them (2 are still single at 37 and 42 and the other is 39, married for 3 years but has no children). To have grandchildren of my own and to see my children happy and fulfilled has been my heart’s desire for decades but the Lord’s answers seem elusive and He often seems to be far away. I pray that His holiness may be realized in the lives of my children and in mine also, and I also pray that He will give each of them a generous portion of “joy in the morning.”
Thank you to Lisa for sharing her story and to everyone else who commented on it. Thank you especially to God. He is bringing me through a series of “no”s as well. An especially painful one is still hard to accept. Since I was a teen I have felt called to the ministry. However, I married young and my husband did not feel the same way (in our denomination husband and wife work together in full time ministry). I mentioned it to him again and he prayed and felt he was indeed called to the ministry as well. We began the process and really felt it was from the Lord. We didn’t make it far through the process when “NO” hit us. It is hard to tell if the decision is truly His, but we have no choice but to trust that it is. After all the years of feeling guilty for saying “no” to God’s will for my life to hear the words “no you can’t” is one of the hardest things ever. I often feel that had I not waited so long we would have been accepted. There are few people with whom we can share this burden because we were not allowed to share our journey with others in our congregation because of the possibility we would not be accepted (as happened). I know that God works through our pain as we have experienced “no” several times-the loss of a baby, job losses, health issues, housing issues-when our prayers have been for God to take us out of the situation, but He chose to take us through. As Lisa said, God is more interested in our holiness than our happiness. As one of the posts said God uses our experiences to help us to minister to others. I do believe that God is using us in the church to minister to people in the posistions we hold as lay leaders.
The scriptures do say to “ask what we will and we will receive it” but the words that are usually left out are “according to the Father’s will!” The scriptures also say that in this life we will have trials and tribulations. Often as parents we have to say “no” “wait” or “maybe” to our children. They don’t like it. How often are we like children when we throw spiritual temper tantrums when God doesn’t give us our own way?
God wants His children to be content, as Paul said “I have learned that whatever state I am in, to be content.” (Please read “state” with both meanings!) Remember, we are in the best place, the Father’s hands.
THANK YOU!!! by the grace of God this story was in my email box. I have been going from depressed to sad to angry. Thinking God hadn’t answered my prayers because he didn’t like me, that I had did something to offend him and could not figure out what it was. Things have been going from bad to worse (or so I thought) and I had stopped been able to read my bible everyday. I didn’t know what your story was about but the title is what make me read it. What made me continue to read it was the sentence that said “I had confused faith in God with faith in what God can could do for me.” That gave me chills, made me sit up, made me say OMG that’s me. I wanted those prayers answered but honestly I have been doing good, I realize things could be alot worse for me. I have been blessed with alot!!!!! and when GOD is ready I will receive more as He sees I need it . Again THANK YOU
Thank you, Gypsymama. Your story touched my heart…and my faith.
Micah is such a beautiful blessing for your family, as I believe you and your family are for Micah.
May God continue to bless you all.
In Christ,
-Carol
Hi Lisa
Greetings from Singapore & a heartfelt thank you for sharing your story. I am facing a couple of “Nos” right now but have kept my faith. Your story has just made my faith stronger! Thank you from the bottom of my heart. God Bless you & your lovely family. Keep shining!
Ming
Hi, I am from Indonesia.
I just lost my elder brother last week. Suddenly. I have lost the chance to tell him the Good News so I am very sad for the lost opportunity because of the sudden death.
I read your writing, but still wondering “WHY” the Lord took him away without giving him the chance to know Him so he got saved.
I am confused.
JP, My heart goes out to you. I lost my younger brother suddenly almost three weeks ago now. I know your pain. My little brother did not appear to walk in faith. One of the hardest things to deal with is not knowing where he is now. I constantly pray for God’s grace to abound to him – I know he is gone now, and people would say it is too late to pray for him now, but I need to. I need to tell God my heart – I need to cry and scream and plead, and wonder. And I need to then just leave it with God – God of grace and mercy. You can do the same. We do not know even our brothers’ hearts. We do not know the work God has done in their hearts, even at the point of death. Two people have encouraged me this way, saying that there may have just been a seed of faith, and God took him before that seed got stolen away. For me, I still cry everyday. I miss my brother. But I hope to meet him again. But I may never know the reason until I am gone, too. I have to trust God to bring beauty from ashes – that He is truly not willing that any should perish, and that He has heard my prayer. JP, as I pray for myself, my brother’s wife, and two little girls, I will also pray for you. May we both meet our brothers again.
JP,
I pray that the Lord will give you peace about your brother. A relationship with God is very personal and you may never know if he accepted Christ as his saviour. All he takes though is a few short words such as was given by the thief on the cross with Jesus, “Lord remember me today when you enter Paradise”. The Lord’s reply “This day I will remember you”. If he asked for forgivenss the Lord did forgive. And his reward will be just as great as someone that has served the Lord for years. Remember the parable about the workers where some were hired in the morning, others at mid-day and others in the evening. The pay for the ones hired in the evening was the same as the ones that worked since the morning. What a great reward he will have if he did accept Christ. It is God’s will that none should perish – but you cannot carry the guilt of not leading him to Christ (so you think). You just have to believe that the life you lived enabled him to see before his death that there is a God and that he wanted to be with him. May the Lord grant you peace about this knowing that we may not know all things now – but when we see HIM we will be enlighten unto all things.
Hi Cathy and Donna,
Thanks so much for all your sharing.
I am sure the Lord is good. It is the guilt feeling that I need to cope with.
Thanks for reminding me to cry and to pray and not to lose faith. I have friends telling me the same thing. I know I have to accept His Wisdom and Sovereignty. In all this I am reminded to be responsible for my time. I still have 3 brothers to be prayed for and to share the Good News to them. Please remember me in your prayer as I need to focus and keep my promise whilst the time is still available.
Thanks again. God bless you both.
What a beautiful Part 4 to your story! I have some first hand experience with God saying “no”, over and over, then (often much) later revealing the script He had planned.
Our stories always turn out so much better when we let Him write them, and trust Him with the entire script. Which, of course, is usually easier said than done!
I’ve enjoyed reading your posts, and I’ll be back again.
http://learning2hear.wordpress.com/
This is just what I needed. A short time ago, I made a decision to believe God to reunite my family, myself my fiance and son. Your heartaches and sufferings remind me so much of my own. Everyday is very painful. Yet, I have managed to keep pressing toward the ways of the Lord in hopes that he would bring them back. Recently, I have began to process the what ifs of God saying “No.” And my answer lies in your testimony. And I just want to say thank you, and I thank God for leading me to this site.
God guided me to your web page today morning. I am sure of that. I had lost. I was desperate. And I was angry with God for I thought I heard him say No. Now I Know. I am rejoicing, waiting for my morning. Thank you. You touched my soul.
The title of your article caught my eye. I had just finished writing in my journal this morning about accepting a no from God and accepting His plan over mine. Thank you for sharing your journey and how God does work everything out for our good and His glory. Thank you for being honest about how painful it can be to face disappointment and not getting the desire of your heart. It all comes down to God’s promises to see us through to the end and to complete the work He has begun in us.
Dianne G, I completely understand where you are coming from. Lately, I have found myself praying for MY will and not HIS. I was getting confused when I wasn’t getting what I wanted. I really thought that what I wanted was in HIS will. Well, I have stopped focusing on what I want and I started focusing on God. I have started reading the bible everyday again and now I set time aside everyday to read the bible to my 2 kids who are 6 and 3 years old. Since I have turned my focus on God, everything seems to be falling into place. I still haven’t exactly gotten exactly what I want, but I have found myself to be more at peace and a lot happier knowing that God’s will is being done. Gypsy mama, Thank you so much for sharing your story with us. It gives me a lot of hope to know that I am on the right track and if I just keep looking up to God, he will continue to provide, even if it’s not what we want, it truly IS what we want in the long run…. HIS will to be done in our life.
I am sorely lost and do not understand why God has give me this unbareable burden to deal with. I know it is said that God never gives us a burden that he believes we cannot handle. I am feeling now that God has a belief in my abilities that is greater than I can bare, my beloved son Jeff 49 was killed in an accident on March 13th of this year. He left me , a wife and 7 children, 4 are siblings who they adopted.
and they are all under 13 yrs . while his natural children are all over 21 yrs. Why did he leave these children without their father. how do I live the rest of my life without my beautiful Son. I am bereft and feel the the Lord has abandoned me. My heart is so heavy with grief. Lord please help me to understand.
Thank you, thank you.
I think I am in the midst of hearing a very heartbreaking “No.” I am fighting against it, not accepting it. Maybe God helped me to stumble upon your beautiful blog today (for the first time) in order to learn from you. I don’t know. I’m still struggling to believe that I’ll get my “yes,” but I know that I need to be praying for God’s will, not mine.
Thank you for sharing your story.
I’m glad you received a happy ending to the season of no.
Lisa,
I thoroughly enjoyed this series. God is good – all the time. Even when HE says, ‘No.’
And now I am aching to know – are you still in Michigan? I live in Okemos – just outside of Lansing… :-)
May the peace of Christ rest upon you today.
Loving Jesus,
Karen
Oh my goodness. What a story. How painful and how wonderful and look at you now. Look at your ministry. What a heart you have for sharing.
God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good.
Bless you
Hx