Pete and I are 35 and still have never owned a house. We rent a quirky little home with a backyard that is at times better suited to bundu-bashing than games of baseball or catch. The carpets are stained with melted play-doh and mud has been tracked in irreversible trails throughout the house. Our boys share a bedroom and are incapable of falling asleep without a never ending stream of conversation, irritation, and escape routes.
The faux bricks in the kitchen are constantly dropping off the walls in the middle of the night and the dishwasher and I are barely on speaking terms. The laundry room holds me in disdain since I am unable to keep up with all the loads and instead play laundry roulette on a regular basis, gambling that there will be something clean for everyone to wear.
Our mattress is the same one we’ve had since we got married 11 years ago and the frame, head board and bed skirt have long since given up the ghost. None of our art is framed and most of our frames are cracked. And I wouldn’t know a window treatment if it came up and bit me.
Our closets are too small and our old suitcases are too big. They clutter up precious storage space and the boxes of junk that have traveled to three continents with us take up the rest of it. There is no guest bedroom, no basement, and no spare square inch of space that isn’t filled with the constant chaos generated by our boys.
Pete and I have been together for 14 years, three continents and two kids. We wouldn’t trade all the white picket fences in the world for the faces and places we’ve met and loved along the way. Because we rent we’ve never had to worry about fixing broken toilets, sinks, disposals or doors. The back yard is a boy’s paradise; play-doh and mud are the medals of having made the most of a day and renters worry much less about stains than home owners. Our boys are passionate friends who never tire of each others’ company no matter how tiring their exploits might be to us. And sleeping in separate rooms is about the worst idea they can imagine.
The kitchen is quirky but everything in it works. And I’m never alone at the sink, the dishwasher or the dryer because my boys love to smother me in unsolicited help. Laundry takes a back seat to wrestling matches and I will remember the arms and legs wrapped around my waist in tight monkey hugs and forget the mountains of dirty clothes.
Our mattress feels like home. It carries the imprint of a decade worth of loving and enjoys eating our children every evening between bath and bed. We have paintings from every country we’ve lived in that peer out at us from shelves and drawers and yell greetings from far-flung friends. We’ve shared cultures and memories with our children that transcend photo frames and overflow old boxes. Our suitcases have become familiar family members and they’ve earned the space they take up.
We live on top of each other in a rugby scrum of joy and wouldn’t trade a square foot of the rowdy love that results from being parents to our boys for all the Pottery Barn furniture in the world.
Although, if the cleaning fairy every wanted to stop by, she’d be more than welcome.
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PS: Inspired by this post by the talented Casey over at Mooshinindy.
PPS: You can still enter the Great Gussy Giveway by clicking here.
Lisa-Jo,
I love your house, and can see the effort you’ve put in over the past year to make it homey! You DO have window treatments…and they even match your couch pillows. : )
Lisa-Jo, you have a HOME. That’s way better than owning a house! :)
Awww, LOVE that. I think I gotta get that made into a sign for my non-existent mantel!
Lisa-Jo, I love your words! They always spark something in me.
Ps. If you see the cleaning fairy, send her my way. ;-)
Cleaning fairies are so darn elusive!!
I think homeownership is overrated ;) (and not what it used to be… investment wise and all that…) When our lease is up next Feb we’re hoping to find a house to rent, I’m not sure when/if homeownership is in our future.
But regardless, we have a home. Wherever the four of us are, it’s home. There have been moments where we’re traveling in the car, and I’ll look back through the car (or boat… it’s a wagon…) and think “home”
Loved this post. Beautiful!
So true – we have been on airplanes in between countries and felt like we were at home, since we were all together.
Whenever I begin to complain about my lack of space…I let my mind wander to times our family of 6 shared a one room apartment, or a bedroom in Philippines. I remember the humble homes I’ve visited in S.Africa and China. We have so much! I don’t want to take it for granted for a moment….but, gentle reminders are always good! Thank you for reminding me today!
And the amazing thing is, in retrospect one only remembers the laughter and fun of those cramped living times, not the chaos. Beautiful thing, a selective memory.
I sleepily read this post this morning, with eyelashes still intertwined and eyes half open, and I smiled a huge, knowing, smile while reading it.
For two years I lived in a tiny apartment, while my husband built our dream home, which you can read about over here, http://www.isdisnormal.com/2009/01/30/moving-in-with-swines/.
You will see that I was not quite as stoic as you were about our tiny quarters.
I have to tell you that I thumbed my way across Australia, back in 1986, with a girlfriend and it has been my dream to bring my family back there one day…soon!
If I ever make that dream come alive, I would love to mix our boys together and take them bundu-bashing with you.
We have similar lives, in not so completely different worlds. Too bad you don’t live next door, as I think we would have a lot of fun together!
Sure sounds like it! We like to do our Bundu-Bashing in South Africa, which is home to me. But, while Stateside, our overgrown backyard certainly works just as well too! Thanks for sharing the post – I will be popping over to read about your adventure in tight living spaces!
I think I need new perspective! I often get lost in the clutter and overwhelmed by the stress that it produces in me. I need to LET GO a little bit, I think.
Thanks for sharing your perspective… it helps!
Letting go of the need to live in a place as “tidy as a museum” (in my husband’s words) has been one of the hardest parts of parenting for me. But liberating in unexpected ways!
This is delicious.
I love it.
I have complained often about my small, 1960’s built house with the awful tiled bathrooms and no closet space. There is not one inch of the house that is not covered in barbie clothes or coloring books or junk mail. Every room is forced to serve multiple roles and there is no privacy for anyone.
But, lately, God has opened my eyes to the love that lives there. That’s what I see when I read your posts. Rented or owned…large or small…we have homes bursting at the seams with love…and I love it.
Thank you for putting it so beautifully. Bursting at the seams with love, indeed!
I LOVE THIS POST. Thank you for writing :-D
Are we sharing a brain?!! I loved your post–God has put similar ideas in my head, lately, and I just blogged about it today! We can always see the better side in every situation if we try; I’m thankful for your blog because you help me to see that better side!
I read your post and it made me chuckle. We are definitely tracking with one another!!
“the dishwasher and I are barely on speaking terms. The laundry room holds me in disdain…
Our mattress feels like home. It … enjoys eating our children every evening between bath and bed.”
I adore your writing. It brings life and texture to everyday experiences :) LOVE it!
Gosh, thank you. It’s how I process things best. And hearing how others are processing the same things is so encouraging.
Didn’t notice any of these issues when I visited your home last, just the love and comfort that was evident everywhere.
Oh, come again soon! Our playroom is always your bedroom whenever you are in town!
I love this. Seriously, I think it’s awesome! Owning a home isn’t as appealing as it seems because of the debt! My husband and I have often talked about selling our home and renting to save money so one day we could buy a home on our own with no loan!
And too, like most people have said…a home is not the roof over you…it’s the family inside. Great post!
Have a great Wed!
True, I would live in constant fear of the damager our boys were inflicting on any poor house that takes us in permanently. But someday, I sure hope someday we get to try it out.
My girls shared a room for about four years and they still ask to sleep in each other’s rooms at least once a week. It’s a huge blessing that are such friends with each other. I love that your boys are like that too!
We see the rewards of it on a daily basis. They are brothers to the very gritty core. Love it! {Oh, and I remember your lovely, warm, inviting house in the Bend – what a great home that was!!}
Awww, thanks, Lisa-Jo. I loved that home. Still miss it. What great memories we had there — including memories with you guys. :)
I read this last night and it made me feel all warm and cozy inside! My house certainly isn’t a Pottery Barn showplace, but there is no replacing the lovin’ and livin’ that goes on inside here.
Your posts are always like “coming home”. Love you!
I love a home that is lived in, they are the best! That’s what I always told my Mom when she insisted we do a thorough cleaning. Ha!
what a lovely HOME –thanks for the glimpse inside…it sounds divine! :)
Your perspective is with the forever eyes..
And oh, I like your vantage point, friend.
(I insist on being on speaking terms with the dishwasher… when she long ago stopped speaking to me! :)
So much love,
Ann
Oh, how I wish I’d had this perspective all along. But I didn’t. I’m working on it now, though. And I SO look forward to the day that both my husband and I can have this outlook. Thanks for your encouraging description of your perspective, Lisa-Jo. Love it!