“Why can’t I see God?”
This is the question that consumed my two-and-a-half year old for a big chunk of the summer. It was our kids’ first time attending our church’s vacation Bible school (VBS) and it made a profound impression on both of them.
But on our youngest in particular.
After getting home late, all sweaty from dancing and singing, playing duck-duck-goose and visiting Egypt and Joseph in his palace, he’d be tucked in under my chin on the yellow rocker, drifting off to sleep, and then it would come floating up to me on lisped syllables, “Mama, why I not see God?”
We’d rock and I’d tried to answer with his chubby face stuck to the side of my cheek. But I could never find an answer that seemed to satisfy him. If Jesus was with us, why couldn’t he see him? If God was close by, then where was he? If Jesus is our best friend then why can’t we see him?
So we’d snuggle some more and I’d wind stray strands of his hair through my fingers and wonder how on earth to explain a God that promises he is as close to us as our own heart beat but that we can’t see with our own eyes.
It was Peter who finally answered the question.
I found out after a long day when we were on the phone comparing notes about the kids. And he told me that Micah had been asking him again why he couldn’t see God. I think Pete’s answer might have taught me more than it taught Micah. But it sure satisfied our curious youngest son who understands about super heroes and super powers and what it means to have a broken toy.
Pete tells me he simply told Micah, “We can’t see Jesus because our eyes are broken.”
That sure got his attention.
“Jesus is right here with us like he promises to be. He loves you very much. He sees you with your baby and your puppy and loves to look after you. But he also wants you to know that when sin came into the world, it broke our eyes so that we can’t see properly through them. We can see trees and flowers and bulldozers and cement mixers and garbage trucks and our family, but we can’t see Jesus even when he is right here next to us.”
For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face. 1 Corn 13:12.
“But, the great part is that Jesus promises one day he is going to fix our eyes. Just like how Jackson couldn’t see properly until he got his glasses. Well, one day Jesus is going to fix your eyes so that you can see everything just right. And you know what? Then you will see him and know that he was hanging out with you all along.”
Now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known. 1 Corn 13:12.
And incredibly, that truth didn’t upset Micah. It liberated him. He loves to explain to us in slow and measured tones that Jesus is here, we just can’t see him “cause your eyes is bwoken.” And my heart aches as I see my faith through his eyes. And it seems that I am the one who is finally beginning to see.