As we travel toward December 25th, I will be marking the four weeks of Advent with this series – Pregnant with Christmas. You can read part one here and part two over here. With one child born two days after Christmas and my tummy full of another one right now, so many of my thoughts are on that teenage mother of 2,000 years ago and her un-shakeable faith. So, each Sunday I will offer part of my own stumbling journey toward motherhood and what I’ve learned from watching Mary’s. I hope you’ll join me. And teach me.
My dad calls from South Africa and my afternoon dissolves. Into tears, into memories, into tiny snatches of life exchanged in a 45 minute sprint to catch up on the marathon of weeks spent apart.
“I wish you could have been here for supper tonight,” he says. As if I’d been stuck in rush hour instead of stuck a thousand miles away. As if I’d been working late or caught up in school stuff for the kids or simply forgotten.
“I wish you could have been here. There was Wanda and me. And then Karabo and Lulu and Tsepiso and now there’s a boy called Blessed staying with us.”
I should really stop being surprised by his calls.
“Every time we visited the orphanage his face – his face would transform. He was almost desperate with the joy of seeing us. So we brought him home for the holidays.”
My dad grew up a farm boy who went to med school, moved to the big city and the whole time just wanted to be a preacher. It’s still what he wants to be. And I think he feels disappointed that he was asked to teach Sunday School instead. At least, he did a year and two kids ago.
Now he’s telling me what supper was like with those four extra special faces around the table.
And when we talk I hear it in his voice, what he doesn’t always say out loud. The wish that he’d had the patience and parenting he has now when he just had me. And Josh. And Luke.
But some things don’t need to be said out loud.
Some gifts are best treasured up in the heart.
Your dad sounds an amazing man his minstry is the children he brings live and laughter to. So very special xxx
I know your dad. I feel the same way about my mothering now vs. 8-10 yearsago. I cringe thinking of how harsh I have been with my older boys…truly grateful for forgiveness and hazy memories. I ask for grace and I attempt to work out restitution in my present attitude.
Beautiful post. Blessing sweet swange!
At least your dad calls you.
That has to be such a gift to your heart every time the phone rings.
I am so happy for you.
take care
Ah, lovey…your words minister to me more than you know. I adore you for this! Merry Christmas, sweet Mama!
Hi Lisa-Jo.
I pray with your dad regularly. Usually in the early hours of Friday mornings. His love for you oozes out of him when he talks about you.
I am young enough to be his son, and I too had a father that loved me like that, who no longer resides on earth. :) It would have been his birthday yesterday, and he’s been gone for 18 years now. But he packed so much love and life and Jesus into me until he died when I was 15, that I am setup for life!
I think I am clueless about what life is like for people that do not have fathers like that, or fathers at all. I have a close friend that did not have a father, and he is moved to see my relationship and interaction with my children. But, as I told my beautiful wife Suzanne, I want my children to grow up not knowing what they have. I hope that there can be so much love and affirmation and safety and security in our home that they just think that is normal. After all, that is the way it was meant to be. As they grow up, in time, they can discover that this is not the norm in many families, and be moved to compassion by the Holy Spirit.
Not that your father, or my father, or myself, were/are perfect fathers. :) Far from it. But the grace is there to forgive us, and change us, and grow us.
Thank you for writing about real and raw things in such a graceful way. I am often very deeply moved when reading your blog.
Oh, and I think your dad preaches all the time. With his life. Maybe nobody should tell him about it. ;)
Oh I agree so completely! “Preaches with his life” – yes exactly. I try to tell him that all the time! :)
What a wonderful way to spend 45 minutes worth of heartbeats. He needs to come here so I can meet him!
Oh, he sounds so special…like my Papa. He doesn’t have little ones but new kids to love…a stepson rehabilitating and staying with him after a long, long prodigal journey and the rejection of a biological and adopted father…and similar with the grew up on a farm, dad farmed too himself, and the wanting to be a preacher, but serving those little ones years teaching Sunday School…does the Pilgrim’s Progress with everyone he can!
Well, kindred away from home mama, I thought a lot of you when I wrote this…a lot…
http://findtheflametofan.blogspot.com/2010/12/once-upon-christmases.html
“Once upon Christmases…” I think you can relate! Hugs mama:)
What a beautiful picture of redemption! I too have seen that in my dad. He has a much better relationship with my high-school age step-sister than he and I had when I was that age. Years ago I was jealous of the relationship, but now that God has brought about redemption in my relationship with him, I can appreciate the fact that their relationship doesn’t need redeeming. Lovely post, Lisa-Jo. And I hope you get a chance to visit home again soon!
I like your dad… what a beautiful post, Lisa-Jo. My sister just had her baby last night and I was there to see Sophie come into the world. What a blessing! Hope you are feeling well with that little one growing inside of you!