I am hot and bothered and my tummy hurts from all the baby bits trying to bust out. And the coughing. There’s been a lot of coughing since I finally caught whatever my kids have been batting about between one another this winter. I caught it last week and this week it’s got me feeling like I just ran some practice labor laps.
For reals, try coughing your guts out next time there’s a watermelon strapped to your insides.
Not so much with the fun.
So, I’m slower now than I’ve ever been at this stage of the game. Except for my belly button, which has taken on a life of its own and scares me how far it has decided to poke out into the world.
I still don’t have any real “pregnancy photos.” I keep wondering if I’ll get around to it. And then I look over at my laundry and try not to laugh because laughing hurts. And I waddle back to the bedroom where me and the boys have set up camp. Me, the boys, and their toys that have taken it upon themselves to start to multiply at warp, rabbit speed.
It ain’t pretty.
My house, my laundry pile, my kitchen, my carpet, or my peanut-butter-smeared-kids (don’t ask).
But it’s us. It’s us right now in the in between while we’re just four and before we become an official five. It’s us reveling in the mess because it’s ours. It’s the jeans and strewn T-shirts that testify to a night spent wrestling dad. It’s the basketball hoop and orange trash truck that smack of delicious satisfaction when viewed through the eyes of two boys. It’s the delicate little girl dress lain out next to the Tae-Kwon-Do uniform.
It’s slow and uncomfortable at times. But it’s also worth savoring.
Because the in between is the now. Worth cupping in hands, tucked in bed between small breathing bodies who won’t vacate because they seem to understand instinctively what grown ups have to learn.
The in between is the now. And it’s the now that counts. It’s the now that’s the whole story, the once upon a time and the happily ever after all wrapped up and ready to be lived.
Now.
How are you spending your now?
Well, seeing as how I’m 37 1/2 weeks, I’m spending my now an awful lot like you… slowly, stetched to the max, and reveling in it… :)
I’m spending the now in between two countries, eight months after having left one grew to love and call home, to back to our home country and live while we raise money to again go back to aforementioned country – and now people – we love, again. I feel like this in between phase will last forever. But I guess, if we have to, we’ll wait here in the now and enjoy this time of closeness to family and dependence on Jesus.
I know what that kind of “now” feels like. Hang in there.
I’m in my 7th month and {sadly} can relate very much to this post. Except the cough thankfully. I did have a bad cold at 9 months when expecting our first. It was awful, painful and carried over after I had the baby and was trying to heal *there* so it didn’t get any better. I feel for you. Rest up, drink up and get better!!
I love that you’re so real.
Thanks Jenn, yea that’s my race – to get better before I have to get better!
That last month is always the slowest, but also the most tender, I think. That little window of time before a new member is introduced into the family is such a sweet time. I’m always just trying to soak up what life is like right then, before the dynamics change, because they will never be the same again. Not worse (well, maybe at times), but different. I’m praying for you Lisa-Jo!
Pretty much the same way you are! We’re scheduled to make the transition from a family of 5 to a family of 6 on Friday. Knowing this is our last biological addition to our family, I’m trying to cherish these last days of one of God’s greatest miracles I’m honored to be a part of. The physical condition of being so pregnant & caring for 3 other children 5 & younger is trying to say the least. I’m grateful for a gracious God, an amazing selfless husband & countless friends & family members who have really come to my rescue on numerous occasions. It’s disheartening that the real battle is within myself & fighting off mom guilt. Thanks for the reminder that my piles are indeed ok & even meaningful!
On Friday!! Oh happy and exciting day. I’ll be thinking of you and your crew as you up the ante to six. Blessings on you for a peaceful delivery!
My now is busy and wonderful and testing and alive with potential. Truly each season brings its gifts.
Cxx
Hoping the cough goes away soon. It’s not long now. Hang on. We are all pulling for you! :)
You always make me smile with your wonderful, generous encouragement! Thank you!
I have no love for the last month of being pregnant so I have full knowledge of how you feel. I really loved your post.
For the first time in a long time, I didn’t have anywhere to be on Monday and Tuesday morning. I cleaned out bedrooms and changed sheets and organized closets. I have made the beds upstairs two days in a row (this never happens) and I have been delighting in looking into our bedroom when I get to the top of the stairs and seeing my made bed. At a red light this morning, I caught my daughter’s bright blue eyes in the rearview mirror and I held her gaze for a few seconds longer- soaking in the blue. I have been making a point to respond to my two year olds attempts at conversation with his new found vocabulary. I am making sure to physically touch my six year old- a hug, a ruffle of the hair- he is gone at school all day and I sometimes forget to be intential about reaching out to him in the midst of the busyness when he gets home.
Slowing down, savoring, touching- my now.
Being able to savor the now as it’s happening – that’s a wonderful gift isn’t it? It’s rare for me – we’re usually rushing and so often I feel like it’s just a matter of survival mode. So, yes, I know just what you mean about slowing down to enjoy a made bed, a pair of blue eyes, a big growing boy. :)
“…the delicate little girl dress lain out next to the Tae-Kwon-Do uniform.”
I love this image, Lisa-Jo. I think there will probably soon be many sights of a similar type! I’m a “girl-mom”–and I love it. I’m so happy for you that you will soon have a precious little girl to add to your lovely family!
Maybe the dollies can have rides in the racing cars…
Heh – yes! I absolutely see that!
I love how the inbetween IS the now, not something to look in the distance for. LOVE.
And yes, the ninth month is the longest, even though I barely made it into the ninth month both times! But since my first pregnancy was twins, maybe I can get some kind of credit that it was equal to about 16 months? :)
Since your first pregnancy was twins, you basically get an 18 month credit!
I don’t have to ask about peanut butter smeared boys. We have those too. :D
I am almost forgetting what the 9th month is like, except that I did great up until week 38 and then I was D.O.N.E. And there was no arguing with me. Except I had to wait a week before she’d induce me. Rules schmules.
Anyway, just be happy you don’t pee rivers down your legs that pool on the carpet, everytime you sneeze. I hate/d that. Makes me feel like such a grown-up. :P
Mmmmm, no comment ;)
My baby girl is nine, but I still remember the count down to her b-day. I was sick almost the entire nine months with cold after cold, and then I was on bed rest for the last month with super high blood pressure. Yeesh, those were the days!
I had similar concerns about adding all that pink to our blue jean and dump truck family of two boys, but I can say whole heartedly she was worth every bit of every cough and sneeze! It’s daunting to go from momma of boys to momma of more. I was scared she would be extra-girly and stuff, she is! But having her in my life has brought balance and beauty I didn’t know I was missing, being a tom boy me with brothers. Bless you and yours during this wonderful and wondering time.
I hear you – caught a nasty cough a week before my first c-section!
Spending my now ignoring everything so I can revel in a long (looong), slow bedtime routine with my precious 4-month-old because this season will be over sooner than I can fathom.
I am spending my now with three sick little girls. It started last Saturday with my middle one developing a fever. Here we are 6 days later and still running a fever and just discovered my oldest now has a fever. Sure hoping the baby (7 months) doesn’t get it. She has a cold and that is more than enough. And my middle one has developed very tight tendons and is unable to walk flat footed, she can only walk on her tip toes. Would I change it if I could, yes I would rather my girls be well, but I love being the mama of these precious girls no matter how they are feeling. Thank you Lord for my babies!
I’m spending my *now* learning {more} about trusting that God wants what’s good for me, that He’s working out what’s good for me. It’s hard, though. Because, I really, truly feel in my heart that He’s called us to have another child – that He’s called our son to be a big brother – and that there will be great purpose in this child who has yet to even be conceived, but who I think has been conceived in God’s mind. It’s hard to wait. It’s hard to trust Him and I constantly battle trusting in His goodness and love, and even trusting that He exists sometimes. I want to give up. I want to not even believe in Him. And I think I don’t even want another child. I think…it’s a lot of work to have a baby…it’d be a huge adjustment for all of us…it just doesn’t seem possible…there’s no way…
I write about it. I seek God about it. And I am seeing that He allows this longing – to bring me to Him. Maybe another child will come, someday. And maybe not.
For now…I trust Him. I trust that He’s bigger and more glorious than even a baby.
Rich blessings…