She keeps me up. Again and again and my eyes stop focusing properly. All I want is sleep.
And I whisper to her in frustration, “It’s a good thing I love you so much.”
I love you at 4am when everyone’s asleep but us.
I love you when you projectile vomit all over me in public.
I love you when you pull out the fine hairs on the back of my neck out of sheer delight at the joy of the hug.
I love you when my arms are so tired of holding you because you won’t go to anyone else.
I love you when I have to change your everything in the dark before sunrise.
I love you in bowls of mashed banana and cereal that is harder to rinse out when dry than any other dishes.
I love you with crushed cheerios underfoot and power sockets I have to remember to stop up all over again.
I love you until I feel raggedy inside and out. Until I feel undone and unmade and with perpetual bed head and dark blotchy eyes.
And it surprises me. This raw love. Third time around it doesn’t fade. It simply ricochets back at me the harder I give it to you.
Daughter.
Hold me in your tiny arms, your Raggedy Ann mother, and never let me go.
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Absolutely beautiful! I have always felt the same kind of unfailing love for all four of my daughters! Thank you!
How do you always hit my feelings right on the head? It’s amazing how each mother and child is so uniquely made by God, and yet we experience so many of the same things. It’s wonderful to know I’m not alone in this hard love.
Ah, yes–the hard fought kind of daily love giving and receiving. Truth spoken is worship given. Love this!
Lisa-Jo, your sweet words about your daughter make me want to have another baby. lol This mother’s love for her children is so precious.
Many blessings!
She is so beautiful, Lisa-Jo, as is this piece. That kind of love is the kind that sinks in deep, and we daughters remember it. I remember my mom reading me books for the hundredth time and always being there, always giving me a hug, always reminding me of her love. You are giving her the most wonderful gift you could – and I’m so glad I get to read along.
Zoe’s face is just glowing in all those pictures! You’re doing such a great job at being her mother!
Oh man! She’s beautiful, Lisa-Jo! :) It’s only been a month or two since I have been able to stop by, and she’s grown so much. Those blue eyes are piercing! And, as always, you find lovely words to share the not so lovely things about motherhood. Thanks for being you! :)
Haha!! Love this: “your Raggedy Ann mother!” How many days (weeks? months?) have I felt this all-consuming ragged-ness? And yet the love, the kisses, the smiles, and the laughs just keep coming. It’s a beautiful, beautiful picture.
So beautiful. The love you show for your daughter reminds me that I’m messy and restless, and God loves me with that raw love. Showing that to your kids is one of the best gifts you can give them.
And those pictures are absolutely precious!
She’s gorgeous, that’s for sure.
Words that only a mother could write… and mean. Great post, Lisa-Jo!
She’s getting so big and look so happy! I love the twinkle in her eyes. :)
Precious! Your little Zoe Grace is just full of all that! I have an almost 6-year-old Zoe Grace – and I must say it’s lovely to get to witness a sweet baby girl grow into her name so beautifully. You keep up with the love and the love letters like that to her, and she’ll wear that name well all of her life! You’re a sweet, sweet mama.
It caught me by surprise the third time around too! I can’t wait to get our two little girls and all the brothers together someday. Hopefully after the Raggedy-ness has faded a bit :)
When we are in the middle of this level of parenting it’s really hard to see beyond the tired….but the days and the weeks go by…one-by-one…and next thing we know we are woken from early-morning sleep by a text message from our “baby” whose in Kenya and would like to “chat awhile”. Ah — my sweet “baby”. And no matter how much we appreciate those early years…we always look back and wish we could go back again if only for a few hours in the early morning, snuggling. A text message has to be enough. :-)
She is just so beautiful!
Janelle
Beautiful! Just beautiful, both the photos and your thoughts. Beautiful!
i love you even when you leave dirty soccer socks on the floor
i love you even when your car smells like sweaty football gear
i love you even when you down a half gallon of milk in one sitting
i love you even when you drum so loud i can’t hear my thoughts
i love you even when you leave half-clipped guitar strings on the couch
yep. mine are boys and are much older, but the sentiment is the same. thanks for the reminder….
Yes, that. Perfect!
Please hold on to those moments… Each, a precious if raggedy gift….that some of us only long for….
Amazing pictures and memories… Thanks for sharing!
Just precious… she is a joy and the writing could be placed in a frame with the pictures surrounding it. So beautifully writtten.
Just read this aloud to my husband – as much as I could read through the tears. We can so relate. Thank you.