There are so many things I’m not good at.
And apparently I have an inner monologue determined to record each and every one of them.
There’s a voice in my head that tells me I am not enough. Some days it’s quiet and some days it’s super shouty.
It’s the strangest thing, to discover the back of your brain muttering mean things to yourself.
The whisper is so soft, so ordinary, so normal by now that I rarely stop to investigate. I just let the words run through my veins until they seem like a normal part of my DNA.
This house will never be clean.
You’ll never get caught up on the laundry.
Your words won’t match up to hers.
You’re not good enough.
You’re never going to get caught up.
You can’t do that.
You’re just not good at this.
I heard that voice in the car today. I was sitting in a Panera parking lot in our minivan.
……I’m sharing what I said back to it over at (in)courage today. Read with me, will you? Just click over here….
I hear that same voice. Sometimes I think I am the ONLY woman that hears it. Sorry you hear it too, but thank you so much for sharing and being honest. You warm my heart!
Hugs~
Mary
http://memyselfandmercy.blogspot.com/
Beautiful. I love that…”devil static.” That’s exactly what it is. Thank you for this =)
Lisa-Jo, Lord bless you for obedience to Him in penning the words that reflect the work He’s doing in you that my own spirit needed to hear today. The enemy has been trying to distract me from complete trust in my Jehovah-jireh over the last number of days. How easily we forget whose we are!! Now, off to soak in His singing over me.
Another great post – thanks Lisa Jo!
ok…so I’ve tried to leave a comment a million times already, but my computer and phone keep messing up online!!! See, I’ve even hit a point of exageration! That may be spelled wrong, but I’m not taking a chance of checking it in another browser on Websters! haha…I had a chance to sit down and read some more of your blogs today (I get them in my reader, but do not always get to keep caught up) and I just want to encourage you today! Your writing is fantastic and I love it. “your words won’t match up to hers” girl, that is beautifully honest! and surely many writers feel those lies all the way to their fingertips where they hit delete of their own writing in fear…I’ll share something with you too. and it’s just embarassing really as it probably sounds lame. but….I sometimes have a fear when I’m writing that I might be using someone else’s words. Like when I write something that I like sometimes, I start second guessing myself and think “did you come up with that or did you read or learn that from someone else?” because I’ve only been online writing for a year now and I would never do that intentionally but when I share my words outloud, so many fears take over…and that is sometimes one of them. and it steals the peace and release that writing brings me….peace and release, see I think that sounds sorta clever and so I’m wondering if I just came up with that or heard it somewhere else? I don’t know! I don’t know!! :) I think I just came up with it so I’m gonna leave it :) See, we all hear the crazy! Know that you are loved Lisa Jo, keep writing and inspiring! Erica
Mmmmm. Yes. I have one of those too.
just getting back from She Speaks and vacation with the grand and I haven’t been home in two weeks. Oh how I needed this!