11 Sep 2013

The boring ordinary

We sit in an exhausted circle of pink shag carpet on her hardwood bedroom floor. Spent. The nebulizer is humming and I’m holding the little fishy shaped face mask to her mouth.

Her sweaty cheek is pressed against the crook of my elbow and her curls are tickling the bottom of my nose.

I stroke her arm, over and over, and she crosses her legs just so, her toe tucked under one of my knees. We pretzel. Tired. But home, this place of moms and daughters.

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Pete cleaned up the puke and I’m holding our girl and this moment is so ordinary that I hardly want to whisper out loud my thanks. I don’t want to break the spell of beautiful that I feel lapping at the edges of this ragged day.

So much boring sits like so much treasure in my lap. I’m a quiet pirate and my chest is full.

We are breathing in and out together. In sync, in time, in this tiny nook of a long day that I fear may bleed into an even longer night.

But right now, this place is like doing church together. I hold a world in my lap and whisper my thanks to her Maker.

And I think about all the mamas working the night shift, doing the bedtime two step, the rock and roll of coaxing sleep and timing the tender release of heads into cool beds just right.

This boring ordinary.

This beautiful calling.

This black and white photograph we will carry around in our memories until it is dog-eared and she is walking down the aisle toward her own long nights and lost sleep.

There’s a piece of Lego pressing against the bottom of my leg and the bed behind me is hard and uncomfortable. But I hold her. I just keep holding her.

The ladybug night light paints bright stars and moons on the ceiling and outlined against her new pink curtains.

And our chests rise and fall together.

Comments

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  1. 1

    So beautiful. Thank you for putting these feelings into words…

  2. 2

    The holy of Mother and daughter… An ancient echo of love… Oh yes this is just beautiful

  3. 3

    You write so beautifully of motherhood, Lisa-Jo…thank you. This is truly lovely.

  4. 4

    Beautiful!! Love !! (I know that mask and that machine! Love the makeup too;))

  5. 5

    So perfect and true, every word. While I hate it when my kiddos are sick, I soak in every second that I have them all small and snuggled just so in my arms. The boring ordinary…more like extraordinary. Thank you, Lisa!

  6. 6

    Ah, thank you. I’ve been new to this mommy thing for three months now. Spending my days doing the same ole thing, over and over again. Holding my girl though, with her snotty nose and bright pink cheeks, is the most beautiful part of life. This post soooo resonates in my spirit. Thank you.

  7. 7

    I love this. The moments in life where we give all of ourselves are usually in the quiet corners of our homes. These are times when God smiles on us with pride as He looks on us taking care of the precious gifts He gave us. I think it so important to look on all our moments together, even the ugly ones, and be thankful for the grace and mercy He knew we needed and faithfully gives every single second our hearts cry out for them.
    Beautiful post, friend!

  8. 8

    This is so beautiful. Bedtime is often both the hardest and most beautiful part of my day. Smashed right up against each other, like that lego under your leg.

  9. 9

    Happened upon a “mother’s day post” on another blog that speaks to the power of the ordinary moments – http://www.ourbestbites.com/2013/05/a-few-thoughts-before-mothers-day/ (specifically scroll to what “Sara” writes).

  10. 10

    Precious days. So precious. Put this one on the wall.

  11. 11

    Thank you for baring ur soul to share this! Especially today when as a preschool teacher I am feeling the mommy guilt of spending my day taking care of other children but send my own off to someone else. I needed this so much!

  12. 12

    Such a beautiful post. Thanks for sharing such a precious moment with us.

  13. 13

    oh, how i love this! with my own little treasure asleep in her crib – and whispering “thanks to her Maker”…yes!

  14. 14

    I loved this so much!!! I want to hug you–and I’m not a hugger! So true! Lol! I have been thinking about the joy of being a mom so much lately. I have three daughters. Those quiet moments to express love in so many ways. Ahhhhh….My heart is full! Thank you!!!

  15. 15

    That was so beautiful and true that it made me cry. What a gift you have to express what each of us, as mothers, feel in our hearts.

  16. 16

    First time commenter here! But I read your words often. Thanks for the soul-sharing you do and for offering a different perspective. It makes the real-life-hard-stuff a little less hard. =)

  17. 17

    Makes me think of the nights when he falls asleep in my arms; my back is aching, and yet I can’t bear to put him down and break the sweet moment just yet…

  18. 18
    Library Momma says:

    Beautiful! You just validated my last two weeks of a sick little girl and sick big boy. Thank you for so delicately putting these wonderful yet exhausting feelings and emotions into words, I feel like I could so easily have coffee with you!

  19. 19

    Saying a prayer right now for you and your long, weary, night ahead! You are extraordinary- even in your ordinary.

  20. 20

    Some days I dont even read your emails. Too busy sometimes. Sometimes just too… raw. The feelings you illicit are sometimes ones I cannot handle today. I read a few sentences and think, ” I cannot handle this one today.” And then I file it for another day.

    But you inspire me. You inspire me to continue. If no other person were touched by your blog — which isnt the case — let me be the one person you write for. Without the encouragement that comes from your bare humanity I think I would some days just give up and go back to bed. Some of those days — the ones I made myself push through — have been the best days of my life.

    Thank you. Keep blogging.

    Life is an Adventure. Keep going.

  21. 21

    Sometimes I think you are looking into my house. My girl has asthma and this week has been rough. The nebulizer has been our constant companion. The meltdowns have been numerous (from both of us). One day as she was coughing and coughing she cried, “Momma make it stop”. I felt so helpless yet so blessed that God had given her to me to care for. So sacred this calling of motherhood.

  22. 22

    Beautifully written. This helped me see my day in a new light. Thank you

Trackbacks

  1. […] am learning to spot the wonder in the ordinary. Because if it is all a gift to me from the Father who gives good things, why don’t I re-gift […]

  2. […] The boring ordinary —> Lisa-Jo Baker […]

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