10 Sep 2014

Book Club Week 1 Discussion: The Writing Process, Breaking up with Yourself and the Freedom to Grieve

It’s behind the scenes day today.

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Where I answer your questions and share your insights about Surprised by Motherhood. Thanks to those of you who joined me on Twitter Monday night – we had such fun conversations – and I hope to recap some of it over here today.

OK, here goes –

Discussion: Intro and Chps 1 & 2

Q: How many years was this book brewing? It’s like gold on every page. I keep telling mamas, it totally changed my life

LJ: It was not something I ever imagined doing. Writing a book. Or becoming a mother.

But then one morning three springs ago I was walking down Jopin street to pick Jackson up from school and I felt this book in my belly. There were colors pushing up through the cracks in the concrete sidewalk and the wind whispered warm for the first time in months when I felt those familiar flutters. The first flutters of new life that will stop a mom in her tracks whether the baby is her first, third or tenth.

And as I turned off Jopin and onto Lees I knew that I would write this book. Because this book is the one I wish I’d had in my hands nine years ago when I was certain I was failing motherhood.

LJ: Becoming a mom is a lot like breaking up with yourself – grieving is a normal part of the process

A: Greatest surprise for us was how difficult having very little extended family support would be.

LJ: Having our 3rd far from family we felt that ache too. Saying yes to ANYONE who offered to come fold laundry=essential.

Q: Just loved #surprisedbymotherhood on SO many levels. Wondering your best tips for making up with oneself after breaking up.

LJ: By finding time to lean into the dreams God has, knowing they don’t all begin/end in the labor ward.

Q: Yes, I am the only one. The only one giving up my body, my sleep, my life. Everything.

LJ: and you will reap a HUNDRED fold back all the wild love you sowed in. Promise.

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{Photo credit: Jacque Watkins}

LJ: Hands up the last time a parenting “How To” book made you feel like a failure….I’m curious

A: I stopped reading them….I can’t really remember haha // Yea, we need a “Me-too” book not a “How-too” one.

A: YES. We need more “me too” moms and less “you’re wrong” moms. Motherhood is too hard to add divisiveness to the mix.

A: All the books and blogs that talk about not yelling make me cry with guilt when I lose my temper.

LJ: Yes, that’s the warning they should really put on parenting books – how no one will push your buttons like your kids.

A: So agree. I have Italian heritage. We are passionate people! I am not yelling I am just being heard. :)

A: Couldn’t agree more. Also the warning that we are humans, fallible humans who need to apologize daily it seems

A: I’ve always found it hard to say ‘sorry’ but it goes a long way with my kids, especially when I lose it.

A: Mostly I’m happy when they read something, pick up their Lego & don’t impale each other w/sharp things.

A: Amen. I am thankful for the many blogs that did speak to that for me. A little hand to grab when I felt like I was drowning

A: Yes, we need to tell the truth about motherhood – and that involves the really hard parts too.

A: And that it’s all a beautiful broken mess. God’s redemption story laid out before our eyes

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LJ: No one tells you how claustrophobic it can feel to realize you’ll be the “always one” responsible from another human

A: Amen to claustrophobia. Sometimes nursing was too much touching. Then what! Husband wants attention too! Overwhelming somedays

LJ: Yes, I thought you get your body back after you have the baby. Could not have been more wrong – therein lies the sacrifice.

LJ: Great reminder that control is an illusion, ESPECIALLY when it comes to parenting.

Q: And that we don’t need for our children to be other than who they are to fit someone else’s definition of a “good” child.

LJ: Yes, that. That we can let our children become themselves rather than mini trophies for us.

LJ: There is nothing like the awe of being invited to co-create life with Christ.

A: And the powerful privilege to understand Rom 8: creation groaning like laboring mama, in hopes of future glory: our adoption.

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LJ: Sometimes saying, “Me too” is like throwing out a life preserver for a drowning mom.

Thank you for being a safe place for one another — filled with hundreds of “Me-too’s” where weary moms can feel welcome.

If you missed Monday’s discussion video –> click here to watch it.

For the full book club schedule and to download a book mark –> click here.

To get a copy of the above printable —> click here.

 

 

 

Comments

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  1. 1

    On Mother’s Day the Sunday School made cards for all the Mum’s in the church using your printables as the fronts of the card and with a prayer for their children inside: I declare that . . . . . will become a mighty man/woman of God and will not miss their destiny. Very popular.

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