Sometimes parenting is a sonnet.
Filled with moonlit, rocking chair, baby skin-to-skin moments.
But sometimes, it is just not.
Sometimes there are no words to beautify the exhausting moments of parenting. There is only a new kind of carpet cleaner cracked open for the first time and a pile of dish rags that have failed to remove the stain.
There is a hamster wheel that spins around each night the same. And each night the parents run around and around and repeat the same negotiations, sing the same songs, walk the same footsteps to bed.
And more often than not, bedtime is no more than a mirage.
Because boys will not lie down, their wild ways negotiating the unsteady trail over the edge of the crib onto the diaper genie and free. While parents look on, desperate, as their hope for a few stolen hours of alone time shimmers bright before it disappears.
Parenting is teeter totter up and down.
And the down deserves its own brand of honesty. The nights when the most you are grateful for is that the stains produced by sick kids happened in the middle of the bed so that there is room for exhausted parents to just roll over rather than change the sheets at 2am.
Or the critical word spoken out of fatigue or fear; the parental temper tantrum, the frustration that I would eat again if I could.
Sometimes parenting is a backwards story. You begin at happily ever after and work your way towards the achey breaky beginnings of the plot. Always holding the hand of miniature person, who is traveling in the opposite direction.
I must become less, so that they can become more.
It’s almost as if it was planned this way.
Especially the non-sonnet like moments.
By God’s marvelous design, few life experiences humble us quite as effectively as parenting. As parents, we exchange our formerly spotless houses, ironed clothes, and ordered lives for the chaos of an incontinent, noisy, spit-producing being with a temper that needs to be tamed and with a piercing cry that rivals the sharpest fingernails ever scraped across a chalkboard.
This tiny tyrant is providentially placed in our house with one grand program: to mold his or her parents into the image of our Lord.
The way up spiritually, is by looking down physically.
~Gary Thomas, Devotions for Sacred Parenting, pp. 46, 48.
So while it ain’t pretty, it appears to be pretty effective.
Just ask the woman who recently fell in love with a product that targets both pets and kids.
I only wish I was joking.
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PS: I’ve never done a giveaway before. But, I have a nagging in my heart that there’s someone out there who really needs the encouragement of Gary Thomas’ book. Someone who needs to be reminded that there is a reason for all the chaos and a beautiful design in the midst of the hardest days of parenting.
I want to buy you a copy of this book.
Slip a comment in anytime up to midnight on Valentine’s day (2/14/2010) and I will select one as the winner of Devotions for Sacred Parenting.
Because what you do is remarkable and I wish I could buy you each a dozen roses and a pony! But, in the meantime, I offer you this book — a less complicated shipping option!
UPDATED: GIVEAWAY WINNER
According to:
??Random Integer Generator
Here are your random numbers:
4
Timestamp: 2010-02-16 01:23:42 UTC
Which means that commenter number 4 – Amanda – will be receiving a copy of Sacred Parenting just as soon as she sends me her address. I hope it blesses you as much as it does me!
I love your honesty. some people act like having kids is just another piece of their image-like the starbucks cup and the designer clothes, but its so much more…thanks for sharing the truth!
Since kids are more likely than not to spit up all over one’s designer image, they are the greatest reality check I have yet experienced! :)
I am in that place right now. Except it’s not babies crying at midnight or toddlers whining at bedtime; it’s older children who should know better fighting constantly. For me , that’s the hardest part of parenting right now. When I love all my children dearly and they are mean to each other, it hurts me the most. I am trying to learn what God wants me to know from it. But I will admit, it’s hard!
I have had this recurring thought all week resonating from my soul: the trick to good and joyful parenting is selflessness… So. hard. to. do. But, Lisa-Jo, I love this! “I must become less so they can become more.” Excellent. Thank you.
Followed your comment over at Moosh. Beautiful, so glad that I did.
“This tiny tyrant is providentially placed in our house with one grand program: to mold his or her parents into the image of our Lord.”
because where else are we going to even come close to understanding the meaning of true grace than through raising our children?
this is beautiful and so are you!
I love it! And Gary Thomas is one of my favorite authors.
Thank You. Its all I have right now as we’re in the middle of just such with a houseful of sickies. THANK YOU for putting into words how I’m feeling and THANK YOU for passing on such wise words “This tiny tyrant is providentially placed in our house with one grand program: to mold his or her parents into the image of our Lord.”
Grounding me today, just when I need it!
Wow how thoughtful of you. I definitely need something like this. My prayer daily is for God to give me the strength & wisdom to raise my children.
I have treasured Gary Thomas’ other books…I know I would this one too. Thank you for doing this friend!
I would love a copy of this book! Today, of all days, was a day almost exactly like what you described and this post was so encouraging to read!
Wow, there isn’t a mom out there who can’t relate to this post. I will try to remember, at 2:00 a.m. with a crying baby, that I am being molded into the image of Christ. I can’t make any promises, but I will try really hard. Thank you for this reminder…it’s better than a pony. :)
Oh, I do love this. I feel like the past five years of my life have consisted of me learning this again and again and again. I write about it often because it is OFTEN on my heart and mind.
I adore Gary Thomas and his book Sacred Marriage changed the life of my marriage and our family – and that is no exaggeration!
You are generous and kind. What an inspiring giveaway!
It’s like you’re living in my house! This is why I started blogging…I wanted to connect with people who were living what I was living and to encourage and commisserate with them. I followed a RT from someone on Twitter (can’t remember who) and I’ll definitely be bookmarking your blog. I’m gonna have to check out that book!
I’m so glad you stopped by – welcome! And I can’t recommend the book highly enough – it helps me make sense of the chaos and find beauty in the madness.
Happy weekend to you!
I would love to dive into his book – it’ll be added to my list if I’m not your lucky winner ;)
Good! I sure hope folks would go explore this one – it’s like finally finding the right glasses prescription – everything finally comes into beautiful focus!
:sigh: I feel myself barreling down this path. Is it bad to say I reach for the brakes thinking surely I can prevent the madness? Maybe not bad, but slightly out-of-touch… ;) I just can’t help but sense this impending feeling that things are going to only get more crazy, especially wanting to add another kiddo to the mix, soon. I’m thankful for Mama’s like you who don’t sugar coat it, though! Even though I can see it coming, I’m sure when the wave hits it’ll knock the breath right out of me and I’ll have to resurface at some point, press on and swim to shore. Maybe I’m just melodramatic…but I feel it comin’! ;)
What a wonderful giveaway- a book that will truly bless someone. I’ve loved his other books!
i wish there were something sacred about my parenting of my 4 children ~ i am hanging on by the skin of my teeth usually ~ thanks for this post to remind me the way up……
what a great post and generous giveaway :)]happy valentine’s day[
I like reading Gary Thomas. And for the subject to be on parenting is definitely another bonus! Thank you for such a thoughtful giveaway. :-)
How did I miss this post!?! I’m checking out this book, thanks for dropping it in your post. Sometimes this parental molding leaves me like a lump of clay. Relating to your teeter totter. :)
“…to mold his or her parents into the image of the Lord”…THIS made me cry.
I must read this book.
Found you via the post at “incourage” today which was wonderful…
Oh you really, really must! It’s a beautiful and incredibly encouraging read!
Thanks for taking the time to say, “hi” – I love to meet the folks who hang out around here. So, “hi” right back atcha!
I like this post. :)