I unwrap a gift today.
Tenderly.
There is crisp, pink tissue paper and tiny fingers. A small foot. A pair of dimples.
Cherry blossom love kisses the sky and my daughter’s cheeks. My daughter. There you are. One full year of memories. All those midnight hours and aching bones and swaying shoulders and desperate prayers and spilling gratitude and tentative attempts at sitting, crawling, walking away from me.
You always turn back toward me at the last minute and I cup your heart in mine as your face burrows into my neck.
I unwrap the gift that this generous God has saved till last. Again. He surprises me with His ridiculous goodness. The day serenades – a love song chorus of dappled pink trees, South African accents, strawberries and life.
It’s right there on the plate – in fifteen different languages. One of them home to me.
Lewe.
Life.
My tiny daughter – everything about you exclaims this truth.
And even if I were deaf I would still hear the day proclaiming in a thousand different tongues that God is good and He brings good gifts. He unwraps life alongside me on a rundown deck in Northern Virginia on the most perfect March 19th.
He’s been doing that since I first promised Peter I would never want to have children.
And then again when I was certain I would never want to mother a daughter.
He’s at it again today. Patiently waiting for me to unwrap more layers still of His goodness. How could I have known? How could the desperate teenager orphaned from her womanhood have known that He had life waiting for me on a spring morning in the States?
Roots grow best in hearts, not soil.
Days have felt heavy lately and I have felt empty. All poured out. People I love are grieving and I know with my own two eyes what Jesus meant when He said, “in this world you will have trouble.”
But today I see the sky and the blossoms just dancing there on the branches. And I hear the second part of that promise, “But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
A baby girl walks holding my hand.
Her fingers laced through mine like ribbon.
::
This was such a beautiful post that touched my heart in so many ways. God is so amazing how he molds us, changes us, and gives us such joy. Thank you for sharing your beautiful words with me tonight.
What an amazing post! It is amazing how intimately God knows us and our hearts. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
The ridiculous goodness of God- LOVE that! How sweet He is to remind you in the midst of difficulty that He is so good. Praising Him with you for your beautiful girl and for the hope of heaven!
I am so thankful that HE is patient and loving with us – even when we say things like “I will never want children.” Things may not always work out like WE plan, but they certainly work out like HE plans and isn’t is great that HIS plan is perfect.
You bless my heart Lisa-Jo! So thankful you get this opportunity to enjoy such a beautiful phase of life.
Achingly beautiful post… Praying now for your burdened heart. Thank you for sharing with us.
She is just adorable… enjoy the time now before it gets away from you. My own baby is 34 now with three daughters of her own.
Such a beautiful, tender post, Lisa Jo!! You are such a talented writer!
And HAPPY 1st BIRTHDAY to your precious baby girl!!!
Lisa-Jo, I was totally sucked in by your title. And loved the entire post. I recently lost my hearing in one ear (with a scare that I would be totally deaf in both, and several days with no hearing at all) as a complication of my cancer treatment. A few days ago, I found that, although I can’t make out what people are saying in my bad ear, I CAN hear the spring bird song! In the deepest and darkest of trials, there is always a reason for praise.
Congrats to your little girl – and you – for making it through that tough yet delightful first year. What a beautiful post to celebrate.
Love in Christ,
Genevieve
LOVE!
So beautiful! We are going through a season of aching backs, desperate prayers for sleep, and trying to adapt to the constantly changing routines of a 4 month old little girl. It’s nice to see what we have to look forward to :)
Also..um..where did you get her fabulous birthday outfit? It’s fantastic!
Congratulations Mama. What an amazing photograph of the wild joy you share with your daughter. (I love her tongue sticking out!!) Happy Birthday Zoe!
Such a sweet post. My middle daughter celebrated her 6th birthday on March 19th as well. She was a surprise that many years ago, but one I cherish.
This is so beautifully expressed. And your daughter is adorable.
Regards,
Ruby
Congrats Lisa-Jo! I have one little girl too amongst 7 boys (yes you read that right!) and they are ALL treasured…but my girl is an extra special gift from the Lord. Praise Him :)
Wow this blog took my breath away! Really awesome post!
Last week (or maybe it was longer ago than that), I frantically wrote a message to you wondering if it’s worth it. It’s quite likely that my message didn’t make a bit of sense to you. But, I panicked. I didn’t (and still don’t) know what to do with this desire in my heart that I often believe He put there, and yet I fear that what maybe I’ve made it all up. The sleepless nights, the whining, the fears, the diaper changes and all the not-so-much-fun parts of parenting…it’s worth it, right? I know it. I do. And, it’s not for us, anyway. He decides it’s worth it, through and through.
I’m always so amazed at how He leads you to Him through you mothering Zoe (and your boys, too). He’s broken you in a thousand smitherins, hasn’t He? And helped you to See in a more clearer way–His true love and Grace. *That* is so worth it.
Hugs, my friend.
Beautiful! Happy Birthday to your sweet little one.
Love this so much, Lisa-Jo! My own daughter turns 6 tomorrow and I cannot believe it or imagine life without her zany antics! Beautifully written and captured in photos!
Sweet belated wishes to your baby! My baby, today, turns 15…my goodness, where have the years gone? I still see that little girl with a head full of curls and big blue eyes, both hands on my cheecks, saying “Mama”!
A beautiful and touching read. Happy Birthday to your sweet little girl!
Happiest of birthday wishes to beautiful Zoe, and happy birth day to her exquisite mama. Have an extra piece of cake {with extra frosting} for me!
May mothering your girl only get sweeter with time, friend. Love you.
Hey Lisa-Jo! Happy [belated] birthday to baby Zoe!!
Dreamed of you two today :) And Zoe spoke perfect Russian in the dream (and yes, she was still one year old – which left me quite surprised since I myself started talking later than that) :D
Miss you guys!!!
Beautiful words,beautiful pictures. You are truly a gift to the blogging world! I have to say I particuarly enjoy your snippets of Northern VA. It is where I was raised and my family still calls home. Followed my true love to Northern New England, but those cherry blossoms still call to me every year:)
I love your joyous smile as you hold her hands in that birthday photo! What a beautiful pair.
We, too, celebrated our darling Quinn’s first birthday just a few weeks ago, and you capture so well here the tug and surprise and crush of emotions. I still glance at her daily and am shocked to see her sitting there amongst her brothers — I have a daughter! And it is terrifying and thrilling and oh, yes, such a blessing.
Oh wow, your blog gives me goosebumps! I accidentally stumbled upon it in the middle of the night Googling ‘Motherhood is the hardest thing I have ever done’ (about two weeks after the birth of my first child). The post I read gave me perspective and filled me with such peace! I am not alone! En wat ‘n seëning dat jy Suid Afrika ken! :) Ek is gesubscribe, en kan nie wag vir die volgende post nie! Groete uit die Kaap!