Some days life comes at you in a fast, blurry, haze.
You have to take a step back before it knocks you down. You adjust your focus and still can’t quite see things clearly.
All you know for sure is that motherhood is a series of meals half eaten but never while they are still hot. It means finding John Deere tractor snacks in unexpected places and vacuuming sandbox sand out of the toy kitchen. It means the temptation to wax lyrical on the high calling of being a mom when your kid would rather be wrestling with you and keeps pawing at your computer with grubby hands to make his point. It means learning to say “yes” to someone else’s needs before your own.
It also means learning to say “no” when you know the result will be tempter tantrums of epic proportions. It means being brave. It means moments of locking yourself in the bathroom to shriek like a banshee and howl at the moon.
It means you are never alone.
It means finding joy trapped in back between two car seats. It means surrendering your car, your laundry room, your dining preferences, and your life to the whirlwind of raising human beings. It means pretending you don’t hear the sounds of someone kicking a soccer ball when it’s supposed to be naptime because you are so desperate for a break that you’d rather have them in there pretending to sleep than in here kicking up a ruckus.
It means you are tired, all. the. time.
It means coaxing out reluctant bowel movements and rejoicing at discovering products labeled with you in mind (I heart you “Pets and Kids” stain remover!) It means learning the names of all Barney’s playmates and picking ticks off places that no boy ever wants a blood sucker to take up residence. It means losing your mind and finding the funny all on the same day.
It’s bliss. That just happens to be hard to find some days under all the layers of dirty dishes, discarded toys, hot air humidifiers, and broken chair legs.
It’s motherhood. Some days you squint as it barrels your direction. But amazingly, wonderfully, courageously you spread your arms anyway. I hope you know how remarkable that makes you. Because it does.
I love this post, so beautiful, and true.
(I had to laugh at the coaxing out reluctant bowel movements line… hits so close to home! haha!)
I am constantly amazed at the things I do now without batting an eyelid. Things, the mere thought of which, would have horrified me before having kids!
Thanks for your blogs and tweets! Made my day yesterday, in the midst of a rough one! Your blog (even though I’ve only read a few) has helped me with some important decisions. So thanks for that. You have no idea. :)
Dude – we mamas gotta look out for each other! Ur so welcome. Just put on your twitter tights and dance the gloomies away! (if only, right?)
Wow, this is so beautiful and true in every way it brought tears to my eyes, thank you…
Aw, thanks! I think moms rock and don’t get told that nearly enough. I mean, booger-smeared hugs are great and all, but props from other moms are also nice!
It’s amazing, this motherhood. So good and so hard and so beautiful and so painful. I hardly know who I was before this anymore… and I don’t mean that in the “I’ve lost myself in these children” sort of way. I can see (sometimes more than others) how God is slowly changing me, growing me, making me the person these little people need – the person He meant for me to be all along. What a miracle.
By the way, I love your writing. If only I’d been allowed to write and read like this all along… I’m not sure legal writing was ever really for me!
About legal writing – could NOT agree MORE! Blech!
About how motherhood shapes the mother – have you read “Sacred Parenting” by Gary Thomas? He captures that too often under discussed factor so beautifully.There is a devotional version as well. I have both. Best buys in ages!