Most of my days look the same as the day before.
And I wonder what to write about because, really, there’s nothing new.
The alarm goes off at 7:20 and I go into Micah’s room to rub his back and try to bring him awake on the right side of the bed. Jackson gropes for his glasses and walks through to use to the bathroom, never ever heeding my shrieks to, for goodness sakes close the door!
Zoe wakes up bright and chipper and her hair all standing haywire on end, straight up from her head.
Breakfast is bagels and cream cheese or toast or cereal or sometimes fried eggs and bacon if we have enough time.
And I have practiced, months and months of practice, of keeping my voice calm despite what my blood pressure is doing as the clock ticks toward the inevitable arrival of the school bus and the boys still don’t have their shoes and socks on.
But it’s ordinary. So very ordinary.
I have meetings and deadlines and I write blog posts if I’ve got one that climbs up out of my head and demands to be written down.
I wear make up even when I’m working from home because it helps me feel awake; present in my life. I sit at the kitchen table in the pool of sunlight that streams in through the huge windows and I’m grateful for these small moment of ordinary glory.
But 8 hours tick by like that. Zoe goes to preschool every other morning and I’m left with my house and the dishes I don’t feel like unloading from the dishwasher and so many moments are simply the choice to keep showing up.
Meeting the kids as they get off the bus, figuring out snacks and math homework and new ways to trick Jackson into finding his reading assignments interesting.
The world spins by so slowly outside our windows.
I wonder what I got done and I stay up too late because I don’t feel like doing it all over again tomorrow.
I wish for weekends away with just Peter.
I wish for movie nights out.
I wish for quiet conversations that don’t require kid-inserted subtitles.
That’s just the truth of it. That this season is very very slow and ordinary and I have to remind myself that this is what brave looks like for me. For us.
It doesn’t involve platforms or pulpits or speaking tours or social justice or passports.
It’s counting how many mornings this week I’ve held onto my temper and chosen to love my six-year-old toward a day of meaning for him. It’s showing up today and today and again today.
Because every day is building a lifetime of what they will remember about their mother and right now and here it’s OK to have late afternoons of lying under the grey blanket and simply stroking the hair of a boy who has outgrown his baby-skin by far. And still I pet his hair because he loves it. And me too.
And this? This is beautiful too. This is significant and necessary and real and I am loved not by the size of what I do but by the God who watches me do it. Today and today and again later today.
He makes all the things I do beautiful.
The ordinary glorious beautiful things.
Perfect. Absolutely perfect. And my heart so needed this today. And again today. And probably tomorrow, too. Thank you.
Yes, yes, yes. Side note, as I was reading Surprised by Motherhood this morning in my classroom while my students were reading, I almost burst into tears at the part where you’re hiding in the bathroom and Peter busts in saying you’re beautiful. Seriously.
Thank you Lisa-Jo. Just thank you. This touched me and also made me think. My husband and I have had a bit of not-so-ordinary over the last few years. This is leading to more decision and discussions and seeing ‘ordinary’ in a whole new way.
I appreciate your words. Thank you for sharing them.
Thank you for writing the beautiful truth about parenting. It’s HARD! No one ever says that when you talk about being a parent. Five and a half years into being a mom of three and I’m realizing that it doesn’t really get easier, it morphs and reshapes and becomes new routines but I can’t ever say that it really gets easier. They challenge and push, and turn me inside out when I’m most tired. And then they cuddle and kiss and tell me they love me and turn me inside out even more.
Such encouragement. Thank you. Reading your post reminded me of this song
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oyPBtExE4W0&feature=kp
I love a good reminder that I am not alone. I have been trying to get established in the blogging world for a while now, but it’s hard being at stay-at-home mom with two kids under 4. Every day is the same and I often wonder if there is life out there, but I am blessed to be able to share so many magical moments with my kids – even if they are embedded in a seemingly ordinary day. Great post!
Thank you for putting my life into words! Always so good to know others are in the thick of it with me. Love what you said about choosing to show up. Even though this is where I want to be, I still often don’t feel like showing up. Good stuff!
Thanks, I needed this one right now. Your ordinary days are extraordinary … just like mine :)
I lay in bed (maybe a little too long) in the mornings and pray for patience for the day. Thank you for reminding me I’m not alone in needing that but also able to join with others that practice it. I know that God shows up every day and I need to do the same.
What a lovely reminder…my son turns 26 today. Oh how I wish I’d had such a gentle and loving reminder when he was small. Funny thing, as someone commented earlier, it doesn’t get easier it just reshapes…I still feel like that at times. :-)
I crave for ordinary. It’s my ongoing battle with God for 15 years now. I have always wanted to be a stay at home mom but it has never been possible. I think ordinary is beautiful! There is purpose in ordinary, there is peace. Enjoy it and pray for the moms that don’t get to pick their kids from school and see them later in the day.Pray for us that miss field trips,play dates ,the ordinary that soon will go away…
The ordinary is hard, it’s beautiful and yes, you have to be brave to do it day after day after day …. Thanks for reminding us that this is a common thread for all mothers. Beautiful.
“I wonder what I got done and I stay up too late because I don’t feel like doing it all over again tomorrow.”
This is me, everyday in this journey of mothering three small boys. I struggle with not being able to see the ‘end product’ of my daily work, no ‘report card’ on my performance. I am only haunted by this voice in my head that tells me I am not doing it right, not being the best mother I should be.
Thank God for your reminders, Lisa-Jo, that I am not alone in this ordinary.
Thank you for the encouragement. This post gave me chills because it so resonated with me. The ordinary can still be equally as God-honoring as the extraordinary. His economy is different. I pray I’ll be faithful in the day-in and day-outs of family life.
Needed this….and I only have one baby {he’s two} (pregnant with #2) but my days seem like they just drag by, i forget to find the beauty in it. Thank you for reminding me how beautiful the ordinary is!!
So true. It is easy to forget in the business of every day and the repetition just how valuable it is.