I’ve officially lost track of the number of women who email me or come up to talk to me at conferences about their worry that motherhood means they’re missing out on following all the “big” things they see other women doing online.
They’re so busy juggling a million seemingly “small” things that their days don’t have margin for more.
Here’s what I tell them. Here’s what I want to tell you if you’re knee deep in the season of Cheerios, diapers, wipes and midnight feedings. Or even if you’ve graduated to packing school lunches and braving your way through parent-teacher conferences – this remains true:
Becoming a mother might be the most profound faith journey of your life.
Because Motherhood INFORMS EVERYTHING ELSE IN OUR LIVES.
My motherhood isn’t small. It isn’t what’s limiting me. It’s THE Lens through which I see Jesus.
It teaches sacrifice and selflessness and breathes life into Jesus truths like nothing else I have ever encountered. I am convinced that encouraging people to become better parents goes hand in hand with encouraging people to genuinely and truly pursue God. They’re not in competition with one another, I think they’re designed to inform each other.
What pastor could possibly ask a mother to divorce her battle with temper and frustration from her daily challenge of raising a willful toddler. This is the heart of where Jesus meets us – through our kids. And I am convinced that the best way for any leader or influencer to connect with a population group who drives the Internet’s massive percentages of mommy blogs is to understand our heart cry.
We are hungry for advice and encouragement on how to parent because we know how closely related it is to how we believe.
When I am learning how to like my 4 year old or to tame my temper – the post I receive the most email on – I have been the closest to the Holy Spirit, done the most work, the most frequent fasting, the most desperate research of Scripture, the most midnight prayers. Motherhood calls me to Christ. I hear his voice at 2am. I walk the halls with Him and know He sings over me when I’m cleaning up throw up.
I don’t believe that ministry begins and ends with serious theology instead of Cheerios-encrusted carpets.
Because I believe that that Cheerios, diapers, laundry, and dishes are serious theology
Yes, this is my house on an ordinary afternoon – are you following me on Instagram for more reminders that real life is messy and that’s OK.
Because of course in real life everything – everything that has breath – is a cry to bring us back to the Creator. God calls us each through unique avenues of life and for mothers, more often than not, His voice is heard loudest through our children.
More and more my children are my gospel in the sense that they teach, they reveal Christ to me. And if you haven’t read it, then Sacred Parenting: How Raising Children Shapes Our Souls is one of my favorite books to recommend on the topic. In it Gary Thomas says,
“Let’s admit that family life tires us as perhaps nothing else does; but let’s also accept that, for most of us, this is God’s call and part of his plan to perfect us.
Once we realize that we are sinners, that the children God has given us are sinners, and that together, as a family, we are to grow toward God, then family life takes on an entirely new purpose and context.
It becomes a sacred enterprise when we finally understand that God can baptize dirty diapers, toddlers’ tantrums, and teenager’s silence in order to transform us into people who more closely resemble Jesus Christ.“
And so I keep coming back here with words about motherhood. I show up with my stories about sleep deprivation, frustrated four-year-olds and my constant wrestle with trying to make a home out of a house that is not my own. This is my truth. And I promise to keep on telling it, this love story. Of how Jesus would have loved me the same whether I had children or not. But how He is remaking me day in and day out through this gift that He saved till last.
So come back tomorrow. And the day after. And I will still be here, unwrapping, unwrapping, unwrapping all this crawling, toddling, laughing, crying extraordinarily sacred ordinary.
Missy Grant knows what I mean. A former NCAA player her story lead her one ordinary step at a time into adoption. And then a book about her journey. And then the opportunity to give away all her book proceeds to the community center in South Africa funded almost solely by moms and blog readers and mommy bloggers.
Here’s what Missy says about the “small” work of motherhood:
Often times, simply taking the first step is the hardest. We all know what it feels like to be overwhelmed in some way, and the remedy can sometimes be as simple as this: Just do what is in front of you. So began our journey into adoption. I was 43 and about to become a mother of two! We all have a unique story to tell as we take Lisa-Jo literally at her word that, “there is no such thing as an ordinary mom!”
I recently published a book that began as a blog to journal my thoughts while keeping family/friends updated as we began the glorious but chaotic journey into sibling international adoption. And it morphed into a heartfelt book of encouragement to our children and prospective moms. I am nothing more than a simple girl with a passionate story to tell. My former professional tennis and avid fitness career has taught me to stay PRESENT in the game and continue to persevere. ONE step at a time.
And Missy is donating all the proceeds from her book to our Community Center Project in Maubane, South Africa.
Change the world from your kitchen sink this morning – click here to get a copy of Missy’s story – what one “mommy blogger” accomplished right there in the middle of her every day life.
Then take the time to encourage another mother today – it’s about the most powerful ministry we have to share with each other.
You may have just redirected my entire life. I love you for it.
Lisa- I have been reading your blog for the last few years and have been blessed by it. I don’t quite know why I am writing, but in one sense I did have a thought about what you wrote regarding motherhood as, ” THE Lens through which I see Jesus”
I grew up an American mk. Six years ago, I was working my dream job as a 4th grade teacher in the middle of Chicago. I had commend of a class of 32 students, and in my mind, I did a pretty great job in this God-given calling. Then I had my son.
I figured one kid would be easy compared to 32. I was wrong. For the first three solid months of his life he screamed. As a new mom, I wasn’t aware that he would one day magically stop. I thought I ruined my life forever. It was during these three months that I realized how much I truly needed God.
20 months later, my daughter was born, and three months after that we moved to England for my husband to attend medical school. A year later we moved to Grenada, West Indies. I was home-bound, a foreigner with two kids, no car and a husband who loved us, but who had to study- non-stop. It was during these two years of loneliness, transition, and change that I came to know God as my unchanging rock.
Two years ago we moved to New York for my husband to finish school in Brooklyn. We have had two years of stability, and it has been nice. We decided to have another child. As I was reading “The Jesus Storybook Bible” to my kids (3 and 5), God gave me the name Judah. It means, “This time I will praise the Lord.” Two months later we found out that we would have a boy. All was perfect until we found there were complications in the pregnancy. I was given a C-section and Judah was delivered at 31 weeks, 4lbs 3 oz. on May 31. Three days later, we said goodbye to our son, and handed him to His Heavenly Father. For the last five months we have come to know God as our Comforter,the God who wakes me up and helps me breath in the morning, our God who is worthy to be praised regardless of circumstance.
I am writing from a place of struggling, so my thoughts are not all together on this, but I struggle with the statement on motherhood being “the lens through which we see Jesus.” I DO agree with the heart of your statement, because there is nothing like motherhood (and being a wife) that makes me understand sacrificial love. But I do struggle with the wording. If I view Jesus through the lens of motherhood, I cannot stand. I have a child I was never able to be a mother to. Yes, I know I carried him. I knew how he loved to dance when we sang in church, how he loved his siblings voices,how he loved to snuggle; but I never truly knew his heart.
When I view motherhood through the lens of Jesus I can stand. It was he who conquered sin and death, so I can put the future and the very lives of my children in His hands. He loves me, and He loves my children even more than I ever can. When I view motherhood through the lens of Jesus I know he conquered death, and when I no longer fear death, I can also let go of the other distractions of motherhood. As you know, this is an ongoing process and I am here one day, and so far away the next. While I believe the roles of wife and mother to be one the highest callings, I also know that these roles can be taken away in the blink of an eye.
The other night I was lying awake worrying about the future of my family. God put Jeremiah 29:12-13 on my heart. ” 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” I realized that I don’t know my families future, so many earthy foundations I have known have been kicked over. But I do know I have the promise of Gods presence, and that is enough.
If you are still reading thanks, I am not quite sure why I wrote so much, except I am still processing.
Just wanted to stop and tell you that I am praying for you right now. I’m so very sorry for your loss. You are still processing, but you are so very brave…just reading your story touched me so much.
You could not be more spot-on with this post, in my opinion. I remember the diapers and the spit-up and the Cheerio’s days and wondered if what I was doing was making any difference. It does, my friend. Now, I’m older…my kids are older…3 in their young 20’s and our last one a senior in high school. Two of ours are married, one has a girlfriend. Our oldest has Down Syndrome. They all love Jesus and follow Him. The things that keep me on my knees are basically the same as they were in those early days…and I storm Heaven on their behalf: prayers for guidance (for them, for me), for protection, for strength, for peace. Help them to see…help ME to see…show us all Your way.
This morning, my house doesn’t look all that different from yours in that picture. There are plastic cups of all shapes and sizes all over the counter, still left from last night. There’s a place on the counter by the frig where someone spilled ice-cream from their root-beer float, and it’s all sticky this morning. There’s a cookie sheet caked with crumbs from the cookies we made last night while we were watching a football game. There are a dozen of individual craft paint containers spread out everywhere…paint brushes sticking out of cups of water. There’s a hammer, blocks of wood and GLITTER. In the kitchen. Where we eat. Some of the kids were here yesterday and spent the afternoon watching football and eating and playing BAGGO outside. The “girls” were gettin’ their Christmas crafts on with all of the paint. I loved every minute of it. None of it got cleaned up this morning before church, but I’ll get to it later.
Our role as a parent has definitely changed over the years…it’s supposed to. Now we advise…we guide…we hold on and we let go…rinse and repeat. And it’s hard. But never underestimate the value or the influence you can have in the life of a child, no matter how old they are. “His voice is heard loudest through our children.” Amen.